Part 6 (1/2)

'Jesus! Oh my G.o.d, my eyes are watering. My mascara'll be halfway down my face if I have any more.'

'Lady,' Nina said sternly, 'we are just getting started. Le- I mean, Nora next.'

'You know ...' Tom said, as I knelt at the table, 'if you want something a bit more upmarket, we could have tequila royales.'

'Tequila royales?' I watched as Nina overfilled the tiny gla.s.s, liquor splas.h.i.+ng down and puddling on the gla.s.s tabletop. 'What's that? Champagne?'

'Possibly. But not the way I make them.' Tom dug in his trouser pocket and held up a little bag of white powder. 'Something a bit more interesting than salt?'

Christ. I glanced up at the clock. Not even eight o'clock. At this rate we'd all be climbing the walls by midnight.

'c.o.ke?' Melanie said. She folded her arms as she looked coolly across at Tom, and there was a note of distaste in her voice. 'Really? We're not students any more. Some of us are parents. I don't think pumping and dumping's going to sort that one out.'

'So don't do it,' Tom said with a shrug, but there was an edge in his voice.

'Grub's up!' The awkward pause was broken by Flo standing in the doorway, her arms trembling beneath the weight of a huge board covered with melting pizza. There was a bottle wedged under her arm. 'Can someone clear the coffee table before I deposit this little lot all over my aunt's rug?'

'Tell you what,' Clare said as she watched Nina and me make s.p.a.ce on the table, then reached over and gave Tom a salty, citrussy kiss, 'let's save it for dessert.'

'No problem,' Tom said lightly. He pushed the packet back in his pocket. 'I've no wish to force my rather expensive drugs on people who don't appreciate them.'

Melanie gave a rather thin smile and took the bottle out from Flo's arm as she slid the tray onto the table and stood up.

'Hm. Talking of Champagne ...'

'Well! It is a special occasion,' Flo said. She beamed, seemingly oblivious of the undercurrent of tension flowing between Melanie and Tom. 'Pop the cork, Mels, and I'll get the gla.s.ses.'

As Melanie peeled off the foil, Flo opened the mirrored cupboard and began rooting around. She came up, slightly flushed, clutching half a dozen flutes, just as there was a resounding 'pop!' and the cork flew through the air and bounced off the flat-screen TV.

'Whoops!' Melanie put a hand to her mouth. 'Sorry, Flo.'

'No worries,' Flo said brightly, but she checked the TV screen surrept.i.tiously as Melanie bent to pour out the Champagne, rubbing it with her sleeve as she cast a slightly hara.s.sed look over her shoulder.

We each took a gla.s.s and I tried to smile. I don't actually like Champagne it gives me a roaring headache and acid indigestion, and I don't like fizzy drinks much full stop but no one had given us the opportunity to refuse.

Flo held up her gla.s.s and turned to look round the little circle, catching all of our eyes, and then stopping, her gaze on Clare.

'Here's to a great hen weekend,' she said. 'A perfect hen weekend, for the best friend a girl could ever have. To my rock. To my BFF. To my heroine and my inspiration: Clare!'

'And James,' Clare said with a smile. 'Otherwise I can't drink. I'm not egotistical enough to toast myself.'

'Oh,' Flo said, after a slight check. 'Well I mean, I just thought ... shouldn't this weekend be just about you? I thought the whole point was to forget about the groom for a bit. But of course, if you'd prefer. To Clare, and James.'

'To Clare and James!' everyone chorused, and drank.

I drank too, feeling the bubbles fizzing acidly in my throat, making it hard to swallow.

Clare and James. Clare and James. I still couldn't believe it couldn't picture them together. Had he really changed so much in ten years?

I was still staring down into my gla.s.s when Nina nudged me in the ribs. 'Come on, are you trying to read your fortune in the dregs of the Champagne? I don't think it'll work.'

'Just thinking,' I said with an attempt at a smile. Nina raised her eyebrows, and I thought for one stomach-churning moment that she was going to say something, one of her infamously blunt remarks that left you grazed and wincing.

But before she could speak, Flo clapped her hands and said, 'Don't hold back guys! Pizza time!'

Nina took a plate and helped herself to pizza. I did too. The meat pizzas were covered in cheap pepperoni that was leaking a chemical-smelling red oil all over the board, but after my run I was hungry. I took a piece of pepperoni, and a piece of spinach and mushroom, and then loaded up my plate with the charred pitta and houmous.

'Guys, use napkins if you need to, I don't want to get oil on the rug,' Flo said, hovering around as the others began to dig in. 'Oh, and make sure you leave the veggie slices for Tom, please?'

'Flops,' Clare put a hand on her shoulder, 'I'm sure it's fine. There's no way Tom can eat all those slices. Plus there's more in the freezer if we run out.'

'I know,' Flo said. Her face was red and she pushed her hair impatiently back into its clip. There was pizza sauce on her silver top. 'But it's a matter of principle. If people want the veggie option they should order it. I've got no patience with people who hog the veggie meals just because they don't fancy the meat choice. It just means the veggie guests go without!'

'I'm sorry,' I said. 'Look, I took a piece of the mushroom. Do you want me to put it back?'

'Well, no,' Flo said irritably. 'It's probably got pepperoni all over it now.'

For a second I thought about pointing out that there was already pepperoni oil over the whole lot, and that maybe if she was that bothered she should have put them on separate boards, but instead I bit my tongue.

'It's fine,' Tom said. He'd stacked up his plate with three pieces of mushroom pizza and a big dollop of houmous. 'This'll do me, honestly. If I eat any more Gary'll have me doing pull-ups from here to Christmas.'

'Who's Gary?' Flo said. She took a piece of pepperoni and sat on the sofa. 'I thought your other half was called Bruce?'

'Gary's my personal trainer.' Tom looked down at his washboard stomach rather complacently. 'He has an uphill job, poor love.'

'You have a personal trainer?' Flo looked deeply impressed.

'Darling, anyone who's anyone has a personal trainer.'

'I don't,' Nina said flatly. She stuffed a slice of pizza into her mouth and spoke around it, her voice m.u.f.fled. 'I jus' go to the gym and work out. I don't need some tool yelling at me while I do it. Well-' she did a heroic swallow '-I do, that's what I've got my iPod for. But I like to be able to put the tool on shuffle if the refrain gets monotonous.'

'Come on!' Tom was laughing. 'I can't be the only one here, surely! Nora, what about you? You don't look like you suffer from writer's a.r.s.e.'

'Me?' I looked up from my pizza, startled at being suddenly in the headlight beam of everyone's attention. 'No! I don't even have a gym members.h.i.+p, I just run. The only tools I have yelling at me are the kids in Victoria Park.'

'Clare, then?' Tom pleaded. 'Melanie? Come on! Someone back me up here. It's a perfectly normal thing!'

'I have a trainer,' Clare admitted. 'But-' she held up her hand as Tom started to crow -' only because I needed to lose a few pounds to get into my wedding dress!'

'I never understand why people do that.' Nina took another bite of pizza. There was pepperoni oil dribbling down her chin and she caught it with her tongue before continuing. 'Buy a dress two sizes too small, I mean. After all, presumably the dude proposed to you when you were a lard-a.r.s.e.'

'Scuse me!' Clare had started laughing, but there was something a bit brittle about her tone. 'I was not a lard-a.r.s.e! And it wasn't about James, although he has a trainer too, I might add. It was about me wanting to look my best on the day.'

'So only thin people look good?'

'That's not what I said!'