Part 11 (2/2)
”Good. Drink one for me.”
Chapter Seven.
Addison took a sip of her beer and looked at her father. They had made small talk for over an hour. Every topic imaginable from pool care to Addison's new project had been covered. Every so often, Addison noticed that her father's gaze would retreat into his beer bottle as if its contents held some incredible secret. Something was on Adam Blake's mind. Addison hated to admit that she exhibited the same tell-tale signs of apprehension at times. They were already on their third beer, and Addison was growing increasingly nervous about what had prompted this excursion.
”Dad?”
Adam Blake looked up and sighed. ”I'm sorry, Addy.”
Addison smiled. Her father had insisted they try a local brew. ”The beer wasn't that bad,” she said.
Adam smiled genuinely. Addison was an amazing woman. ”You remind me of your mother.” Addison started to tear up. ”You do,” he said.
”Dad? What's wrong? I mean, we don't do this...”
”We should,” he said. Addison's surprise was evident. ”I am sorry, Addison.”
Addison remained puzzled by her father's behavior. ”Look, I know I am not exactly what you expected...”
Adam held up his hand. ”Stop,” he said. He saw Addison ready to protest and shook his head. ”There's something I need to tell you.”
Addison took a deep breath. This was her worst nightmare come true; she knew it. He had just started interacting with her, and now her father was sick. That was the only explanation for his odd behavior. First, he had agreed to come to Kansas. Next, it was inviting her out for a beer. Now, he was about to drop the bomb on her. ”Dad?”
”You know; your mother was so happy for you when you went to college.”
”Yeah, I know. She loved Tamara.”
”She loved you,” he said. Adam lifted his beer and took a long pull from it. He looked back at his daughter. ”She did. She wanted you to have all those big dreams,” he said, sporting a sincere smile. ”She would have loved seeing your life now.”
”I hope so.”
”She would have,” he said. ”She would have given Emma a run for her money,” he laughed.
”Dad? What's wrong?”
”A lot, Addison. A lot of things are wrong-not with you-with me,” he said. Addison swallowed hard in preparation for the worst news possible. ”I screwed up.”
Addison looked at her father quizzically. Those were the last words she had expected to fall from his lips. ”I don't,” she began.
Adam sighed and interrupted her. ”There's something that I should have told you. I promised your mother that I wouldn't. I never broke a promise to her-not until now.”
”What?”
”You know, your mother was the most determined person I ever knew, well, until I met Emma,” he laughed.
Addison smiled at the compliment. Emma shared many traits with Addison's mother. Both were forthright. Both were compa.s.sionate. Both were beautiful. Both were honest. And, both were devoted mothers and wives. It hadn't surprised Addison that her father had been drawn to Emma. Emma was easy to love. If anyone knew that, it was Addison.
Adam smiled across the table at his daughter. ”Addison... I...”
”Dad, just tell me, please.”
Adam nodded. ”Your mom wanted you to have everything. We both did.”
”I do.”
Adam nodded. He couldn't argue with that. ”She never wanted to stand in the way of that,” he said.
”What are you talking about?”
”Do you remember when your mom and I came up to visit that weekend? The one when your mother told you about her cancer?”
Addison felt her stomach drop. She would never forget that weekend as long as she lived-never. There were a few moments in life that always stayed with you. Addison had a handful-the day she heard her mother was sick. The day her mother died. The first time she kissed a girl. The day she moved to Los Angeles. The day she met Emma Bronson. The first time she had kissed Emma. Emma walking toward her on their wedding day. The look on Emma's face when Addison realized Emma was pregnant. The moment Vicki had been born. Emma telling her they were expecting again. Some moments were more than memories. They were the tangible parts of life that shaped who a person was.
”I remember,” Addison said, fearful of the direction the conversation was about to take.
”She didn't want you to know.”
”What? She didn't want me to know that she was sick?” Addison asked. Adam nodded. ”She couldn't exactly keep that a secret,” Addison said.
”She did. For a long time,” he said. ”So did I.”
”What are you talking about?”
Adam suppressed a groan. He fully expected Addison to hate him, and he couldn't blame her. He had argued with his wife that Addison deserved the truth. She had countered that it was their job to protect and to encourage Addison's dreams. She could not change the course that had been set for her. And, she had no intention of it changing Addison's. Adam had tried to reason with her. No matter what, he had told his wife, it would change Addison's course in some way. It would change them all. He had been right in the most painful of ways. His guilt and his grief had caused him to pull away from Addison. He couldn't handle the despair in her eyes and the guilt in his heart.
”Addison,” Adam began softly. ”Your mother was sick for a long time. She was determined to beat it. Determined to s.h.i.+eld you from it.”
Addison was sh.e.l.l shocked. ”What do you mean, she was sick for a long time?”
Adam pushed down his fear and looked directly at his daughter. ”She found out about the cancer the week we dropped you off.”
Addison stared at her father blankly. She was stunned. She had come here expecting to learn that her father was facing some life-threatening illness or that he had news of some other impending doom. The last thing she expected him to want to discuss was her mother's disease or death. She took a long, deep breath and exhaled it slowly, attempting to process her father's words. Addison concentrated on her breathing-in and out, in and out. Slowly, her father's words and their meaning began to register.
Addison closed her eyes and pictured her mother. Victoria Blake always seemed to be smiling, at least, she did when she looked at Addison. Addison let her mind go silent and leave the present until it carried her back to her mother. ”You didn't tell me,” Addison whispered. For a split second, Addison felt a twinge of anger. It should have been her choice whether to come home or stay at school. Then suddenly, Addison could see her mother smiling at her, her eyes sparkling with amus.e.m.e.nt and affection. ”Mom,” Addison called to her.
Addison wasn't certain if she had spoken out loud, or if she were simply daydreaming. She could swear that she heard her mother answer her call. ”h.e.l.lo, Addy.”
Addison felt a smile tug at her lips, even as a tear rolled over her cheek. It made sense. Her mother would never have risked Addison giving up college and moving home. Victoria Blake had been more than just the guiding presence in Addison's life. She wasn't simply a terrific mother who had nurtured Addison and taught her about the importance of discipline. Victoria Blake had become Addison's best friend and confidante. She was Addison's safe harbor. Addison lingered in her daydream. It felt real and yet surreal at the same time. For a moment, she thought that she felt her mother's hand on her shoulder. She took one more deep breath and let it out slowly just as her father's concerned voice began to echo in her ears.
”Addy?” Adam called.
Addison opened her eyes and smiled at her father. She could tell that he remained worried, both about her and about what she might say to him now. ”It's okay, Dad.”
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