Part 8 (1/2)

”Therefore if overnment of the family must be put by law and by ive it to the wife”

This argument he calls ”as clear as that of a proposition in Euclid” He thinks that the business of life can be carried on by no other method How is it, then, that e come to what is called technically and especially the ”business” of every day, this whole fine-spun theory is disregarded, and ether in partnershi+p on the basis of equality?

nobody is farther than I froe as a mere business partnershi+p But it is to be observed that the points wherein it differs from a merely mercantile connection are points that should make equality more easy, not more difficult The tie between two ordinary business partners is merely one of interest: it is based on no sentie, enriched by no ho life If a relation like this is found to ell on tere part of the business of the world is done by it,--is it not absurd to suppose that the same equal relation cannot exist in the married partnershi+p of husband and wife? And if law, custonize this fact of equality in the one case, why, in the nanize it in the other?

And, again, it n a sphere to each partner in e than in business; and therefore the double headshi+p of a family will involve less need of collision In nine cases out of ten, the external support of the family will devolve upon the husband, unquestioned by the wife; and its internal economy upon the wife, unquestioned by the husband

No voluntary distribution of powers and duties between business partners can work so naturally, on the whole, as this sie ry discussion to decide which of two business partners shall buy, and which shall sell; which shall keep the books, and which do the active work, and so on; but all this is usually settled in ard to the ement of children, where collision is likely to come, if anywhere, it can commonly be settled by that happy formula of Jean Paul's, that the mother usually supplies the commas and the semicolons in the child's book of life, and the father the colons and periods And as to eneral, the simple and practical rule, that each question that arises should be decided by that partner who has personally most at stake in it, will, in ninety-nine times out of a hundred, carry the doh without shi+pwreck Those who cannot meet the hundredth case by mutual forbearance are in a condition of shi+pwreck already

ASKING FOR MONEY

One of the very best wives and mothers I have ever known once said to hters should be married, she should stipulate in their behalf with their husbands for a regular sum of money to be paid them, at certain intervals, for their personal expenditures Whether this suer or smaller, was a matter of secondary importance,-- that ; but the essential thing was, that it should coularly, so that she should no more have to make a special request for it than her husband would have to ask her for a dinner This lady's own husband was, as I happened to know, of a enerous disposition, was devotedly attached to her, and denied her nothing She herself was ain the household to ements flow smoothly Yet she said to me, ”I suppose no man can possibly understand how a sensitive wo_ for hters shall never have to ask for it If they do their duty as wives and ht to their share of the joint income, within reasonable limits; for certainly no money could buy the services they render Moreover, they have a right to a share in deter what those reasonable lione through an experience which enabledIn early life I was for a time in the employ of one of my relatives, who paid me a fair salary but at no definite periods: I was at liberty to ask him for money up to a certain amount whenever I needed it This seeement; but I found it quite otherwise It proved to be very disagreeable to apply for ht up all kinds of s, as to whether he could spare it without inconvenience, whether he really thought hly upright and noble man, and I was much attached to him I do not know that he ever refused or demurred when I made ; and this becareat, that I often underwent serious inconvenience rather than do it Finally, at the year's end, I surprisedthat I would accept, if necessary, a lower salary, on condition that it should be paid on regular days, and as a ranted, without the reduction; and he probably never knehat a relief it was toman is liable to feel this pride and reluctance toward an employer, even when a kinsman, it is easy to understand how ard to a husband And I fancy that those who feel it h-minded women It is unreasonable to say of such persons, ”Too sensitive! Too fastidious!” For it is just this quality of finer sensitiveness which men affect to prize in a woman, and wish to protect at all hazards The very fact that a husband is generous; the very fact that his incoratitude to increase the restraining influence of pride, andto ask money of such a husband than if he were a rich nified position in which a man can place his wife is to treat her at least as well as he would treat a housekeeper, and give her the coement as to moneyherself to solicit froht to spend Nor will she be torturing herself, on the other side, with the secret fear lest she has asked too much and more than they can really spare She will, in short, be in the position of a woman and a wife, not of a child or a toy

I have carefully avoided using the word ”allowance” in what has been said, because that word seems to imply the untrue and ive or withhold as he will Yet I have heard this sort of phrase fros; fro a little, while their wives worked hard,--or from farmers, orked hard, and made their wives work harder Even in cases where the wife has no direct part in the , the indirect part she perfore of her household, is so essential, so beyond all compensation in money, that it is an utter sha” money to his wife as if it were an act of favor It is no er of a firm pays out money to the unseen partner who directs the indoor business or runs the machinery Be the joint income more or less, the wife has a claiht, without the daily igno in a petition for it

WOMANHOOD AND MOTHERHOOD

I always groan in spirit when any advocate of wo disrespectful about the nursery It is contrary to the general tone of feeling a reformers, I am sure, to speak of this priceless institution as a trivial or degrading sphere, unworthy the emancipated wole such utterance hinders progress htful person sees that the cares of h not the whole duty of woman, are an essential part of that duty, wherever they occur; and that no theory of wo which undertakes to leave out the cradle Even her school education is based on this fact, were it only on Stendhal's theory that the sons of a woman who reads Gibbon and Schiller will be more likely to show talent than those of one who only tells her beads and reads M us, that, e ask for suffrage for woman, it is almost always claimed that she needs it for the sake of her children To secure her in her right to theive her a vote in the government beneath which they are to live,--these points are seldo else would be an error

But there is an error at the other extree herself in her child than in her husband Yet we often hear that she should do just this What is all the public sphere of wo and writing and action,--co the soul of one child? It is not easy to see the logic of this claim

For what service is that child to render in the universe, except that he, too, ood and true? And if theup, ains nothing In sacrificing her oork to her child's, ood for a prospective andlove, we can hardly blame her; but she cannot justify it before reason and truth Her child may die, and the service to roith talents unlike hers, or with none at all; as the son of Hoas selfish, the son of Chesterfield a boor, and the son of Wordsworth in the last degree prosaic

Or the special occasion when she ood rows up to do it If Mrs Child had refused to write ”An Appeal for that Class of Americans called Africans,” or Mrs

Stowe had laid aside ”Uncle Too to the Crih the nursery, and they must all wait for that, the consequence would be that these things would have remained undone The brave acts of the world must be performed _when occasion offers, by the first brave soul_ who feels moved to do them, man or woman

If all the children in all the nurseries are thereby helped to do other brave deeds when their turn coreat opportunity offers for direct aid to the world, we have no right to transfer that work to other hands--not even to the hands of our own children We must do the work, and train the children besides

I a to admit, therefore, that the work of education, in any forreat as any other work; but I fail to see why it should be greater

Usefulness is usefulness: there is no reason why it should be postponed froeneration, or why it is better to rear a serviceable hu than to be one in person Carry the theory consistently out: if each hter that she in turn eneration the ill devolve upon a succeeding generation, so that it will be only the last woman ill personally do any service, except that of motherhood; and when her time comes it will be too late for any service at all