Part 12 (1/2)

London, England

Dearest Jaimy: With my own hand I now release you from the vow of marriage which you honored me with when we were both children on HMS Dolphin, as I have been busted down to serving girl and will never be a fine lady as you wished me to be, a lady worthy to stand by your side.

Without going too much into the sordid details of my fall, it is enough to say that my wanton ways have got me in deep trouble again, and although I am still a good girl and am still promised to you, I am in deep disgrace.

I shall remain promised to you until such time as I receive a letter from you saying that you don't want me anymore.

Please write to me, either way. It seems like it's been a long, long time, Jaimy.

All my love, Jacky

Chapter 13.

It is on the second Sunday after my fall from grace that the word comes down from above that I must go back to the church for more of the Preacher's counseling and guidance. d.a.m.n, and I just got out of that place, I thinks, what with him going on and on about sin and stuff as usual and looking at me when he says it, me now standing in the back, apart from the ladies.

We were preparing the noon meal when I was summoned, and I put aside the tray of steamed greens I was making up and wipe my hands, heave a heavy sigh, and head out. The other girls give me looks of sympathy as I go, but Betsey, strangely, looks at me with real alarm in her eyes, and says don't... but lets it drop there and sits down and worries her hands in her lap. Don't what? I wonders as I cross the s.p.a.ce between the church and the school, going past the graveyard and the unmarked grave.

I open the door and go in and again he is standing tall and severe up at his podium, his white collar tabs glowing in the half darkness of the place. He points to the aisle in front of him and I go there and kneel and put my hands up in a prayerful att.i.tude as I did on my last visit to this place.

”We have now seen where your wanton ways have gotten you, haven't we, girl?”

”Yes, Sir, we have.”

”And have you prayed for forgiveness, girl?”

”Yes, Sir, I have.” Anything to get me out of here.

”I think it is plain to you now that the Devil is indeed in you, girl, is he not?”

”I hope he is not, Sir.” Get ready, my poor knees, for yet more pain. ”And I do not believe he is, Sir.” I look up at him when I say this and hold his gaze. I am growing heartily sick of all this.

”What? You dance wildly in the streets, showing your limbs before decent people and expect us to believe that?” He takes a deep breath and pulls himself up to his full height. The light inside the church is gloomy, with dust motes floating about in the weak light that comes through the high windows. ”You end up in jail and there carouse with wh.o.r.es and other low types the whole night long and you say the fiend is not in you, has not taken possession of you entirely?”

”It was not that way at all, Sir,” I say, wearily, and settle back onto my haunches. Sounds to me like the Preacher has been talking to somebody from the jail to know so much about my night there. Prolly that Wiggins. I drop my hands from the prayerful att.i.tude and fold them in my lap. How much more can they do to me?

”Liar!” he shouts, coming around the lectern and pointing his finger at me. ”Liar! Strumpet! Minion of Satan!” He is working himself up to a fine froth and I'm starting to get scared. It is now that I notice he has a long rod in his hand. ”You will put your hands back up in a proper supplicating posture and you will beg on your bended knees the good Lord's forgiveness for your transgressions against his holy teachings!”

I do not do it. I say instead, ”I do not recall the good Lord saying anything about singing and dancing, 'cept maybe that thing about makin' a joyful noise unto the Lord, which is what I was doin' when I was arrested. I was makin' joyful noises unto some of his own creatures, to bring them some cheer, I was, and there was no harm in it, Sir, not a bit.”

He is astounded. His mouth works up and his eyes stare at me in disbelief and I swear a line of spittle comes out the side of it and runs down his chin. I get to my feet, as I have had enough of this.

”What! No shame? No contrition? You are possessed! You will prostrate yourself!” he shouts, letting loose a cloud of spit droplets in the air. ”Prepare to have the Devil beaten out of you!”

He raises his rod and comes toward me. I back off a few steps and says, ”No, Sir. I will not be beaten by you. I have been beaten by Mistress Pimm, but I suppose that goes with being in a school, but I will not be beaten by you, not in a church.” I pause for breath, for my heart is poundin' and my chest is startin' to heave. ”I go to a church for solace and consolation and to be in company with my friends in the presence of G.o.d and to think about my place in His universe, not to be beaten and shamed!”

I'm in a fine froth myself by now and I don't know where I'm gettin' the cheek to speak up like this but I push on, the words just pourin' out o' me.

”I spent almost two years in the Royal Navy, and I was not flogged once, Sir, not once!” I pull myself up and throw my head back. ”I ain't apprenticed to you, and I ain't a member of your household. You think that 'cause I ain't a lady no more that you can beat on me if you want, but you're wrong, Sir, as I am a freeborn English woman and I will not be struck by you!”

I've been walking backwards this whole time and I'm about to turn to go out the door when he rushes up to me and grabs me by the arm and lifts the rod again, shouting something about a Jezebel right into my face, but I shouts back at him, ”You let go of me, Preacher! If you hit me I'll put the police on you, I will! I know where they are and how things work down at the courthouse and ... and ... and I got me a lawyer, too! So let go of me!”

With that I jerk my arm from his grasp and bolt out the door, leavin' the amazed Preacher alone in the gloom of his church.

I rush back into the warmth and safety of the kitchen and put my back to the door and stand there pantin', tryin' to calm myself down. Through the fog of my fear and anger I hear Betsey say, ”See, Peg, seel It's happening again!” and ”Shush, you don't know, you must be quiet, hush your mouth now!” from Peg.

I think that's what was said, but when I ask Betsey about it later, she just shakes her head and won't say a word. And neither will Peg.

Chapter 14.

It ain't long till Annie and Betsey Byrnes invite me to go home with them to spend the night and Mistress says all right 'cause she really don't care what her serving girls do, even though she makes sure I'm locked up tight every night. And Sylvie comes over, too, 'cause she lives just down the street from them, and we have a fine dinner with their parents and their younger sisters and brother and one older brother whose name is Timothy who seems right pleased that I came over. Their father is a s.h.i.+pwright so we got a lot of things in common and we get along well, and their mother is a fussy, jolly sort, who makes sure everyone's got enough to eat, and beams proudly over her merry brood.

After dinner we play ring games and tell riddles and I pull out my pennywhistle and give 'em a few tunes and songs and raps out some steps and then we gathers about the fireplace and pops popcorn, which is the most wondrous and tasty thing and which Betsey says the early settlers learned from the Indians back when the Indians was being nice before the British started paying them to ... and then she reddens and clams up, having forgot for a moment, I guess, my history and place of birth, but I laughs it off and packs in more of the salty popcorn and sings a few more songs. Timothy sits next to me by the fire and we hold hands for a while till it's time for us to go to bed. He's a sweet boy and I give him a peck on the cheek as we leave for upstairs. Then we girls get dressed for bed and have a great giggling good time in their big old feather bed, all of us, Annie and Betsey and Sylvie and even the little ones, Eileen and Gabby and Antonia, who are so thrilled to be with their older sisters on this night of merriment that we fear they shall never sleep.

But sleep they do and then we sit up cross-legged and light one candle and talk of the boys they got their eyes on, with great snickerin' and teasing back and forth. Annie and even shy Sylvie are quite frank in reeling off their list of boys who they might look favorably on, but Betsey keeps her secrets, she just smiles and shakes her head and looks off. They tell me I should marry Timothy 'cause he's taken a s.h.i.+ne to me and he's a good boy and has got a trade and they'd love to have me for a sister-in-law, but I have to tell 'em I am promised to another.

Course they drags every detail of my recent misadventure out of me and I warms to it, being a natural show-off and storyteller, and I prolly shouldn't but I really gets into the tellin' of it, and they squeals and covers their mouths with their hands in shock and delight when I tells 'em about Mrs. Bodeen's girls and specially about Mam'selle Claudelle day Bour-bon. Then I puffs up like the judge and tells that part, usin' a deep voice for the judge and a high squeaky one for the constable and a sweet one for Mr. Pickering, and they says how could you be so brave to take all that, and I say I warn't brave at all as I was on the edge of wettin' my pants at any moment during the whole thing and they can take that as the truth, and amen to that.

Then I puts Jaimy's ring in my ear with great ceremony so that I knows that I looks like a pure buccaneer to them, and then I tell them about the Brotherhood and the Dolphin, as I sure don't owe Mistress no promise about not tellin' about my past to these girls. I tell them about the Brotherhood oath and I tell 'em to each spit in both of their hands, and they say, ”Yuck,” but they all do it and so do I and we all clasp hands mixin' the spits and I say all deep and magical-like, ”This being the forming of the Dread Sisterhood of the Lawson Peabody, each what pledges to the others that they will in all ways watch out for each other and never to betray another member but always help them and keep them uppermost in their hearts, and so say you one, so say you all.” And we all say, ”Amen,” and drag the word out long and long.

And then I tell 'em all about that time in Kingston and how Jaimy and me's got an understanding about gettin' married and I get ohs and ahs and wide eyes when I tells 'em almost all about Jaimy and our hammock and our other spots on the Dolphin, and Sylvie up and says, ”So you've bundled, then, Jacky?”

More snorts and stifled giggles from them all.

I sit up and say, ”You will tell me what 'bundling' means and then I will tell you if I have done it or not.” I am watchful. I don't mind bein' teased, but...

Annie clears her throat and puts on a teacher tone. ”Well. There's a lot of farms around here that are so far out on the frontier that the girls don't ever get to see any boys 'cept her own brothers for maybe years at a time.” She takes a deep breath and goes on. ”Sooooo ... when there's something like a barn dance or something, and a boy and girl spark a bit ... weeeeellll, if that happens and it's agreeable to the parents, then later the boy is invited out to spend the night at the girl's farm ... aaaaaaaand, if all goes well at dinner, then...”

”Spit it out, Annie,” I says, gettin' impatient with all this hemmin' and hawin'.

She finally gets it out in a rush. ”Then the boy and girl go to bed together and sometimes there's a board down the center of the bed and sometimes there's not, but usually they keep their nightclothes on and spend the night in just talking and maybe a little kissing and stuff, but no more than that, and if they find in the morning that they still agree, then they set up a date to get married and then they do and they go off to start their own farm. We never do it, of course, 'cause we're city girls and there's plenty of boys around here.”