Part 10 (1/2)
”Well, no, not by the music, but by the display of flesh.”
”Ah. Well. Let's get to that, shall we? How did you know that it was indeed a female knee that you did spy, and not a bit of light-colored cloth, or a petticoat or, say, a slip?”
”No, Sir,” says Wiggins, reddening. ”It was indeed a knee, plainly wisible wight below the dwawers and wight above the stockings!” He nods his head decisively.
”Very well, Constable, we will accept that you glimpsed her knee. Now, would you say that what she was performing was a simple country dance, one that you would see being done by simple G.o.d-fearing country folk at a country fair and not the same kind of performance one would see in a bawdy house?”
”Objection, Your Honor. That calls for speculation on the part of the witness,” says the white-wigged cove who introduced the constable.
”Sustained,” says Judge Thwackham. ”What's your point, Counselor?”
”I am merely trying to show that this simple country girl, far from her home in England and not knowing our ways, was merely engaging in a bit of good fun and had no desire to whip men into a fever of base desire with a display of wild and licentious dancing.” Mr. Pickering turns around and grandly gestures toward me. ”I mean, look at her, Your Honor. Does that look like a temptress?”
I take my cue and put on my poor little beggar girl look from back in my London days. I work up a few tears to course down my cheeks. I drop my head and look up through my lashes at the judge.
The judge puts his chin in his hand and rubs it, and it looks like he might be thinkin' kind thoughts of me. ”Hmm. I'm sure the knee in question is probably quite scrawny considering the rest of her...”
Mr. Pickerings gonna win this! It's gonna be all right! I'm gonna- The white-wigged man on my left, the one that clearly don't mean me no good, clears his throat and says, ”Tell me, Constable, did the accused have anything on her person when she was arrested?”
Uh-oh Constable Wiggins, with an air of great importance, walks over to Goody and takes something from her and then comes back to stand before the judge.
”She had this up her sleeve, Your Honor!” He holds up me s.h.i.+v, the blade all s.h.i.+ny 'cause I'd just sharpened it and the carved c.o.c.k's head with its red c.o.xcomb lookin' all rascally on the hilt.
There is a gasp from the Court. I look over at Mr. Pickering and he's slowly shakin' his head and lookin' like he's just had his feet kicked out from under him 'cause I forgot to tell him about my s.h.i.+v. All is lost, now.
Judge Thwackham picks up his hammer with a look of pure thunder and d.a.m.nation on his face and rumbles out, ”A poor, simple, good-hearted country girl, eh?” The hammer starts to come down, ”I find you-”
All bein' lost anyway, I grabs the railing in front of me and vaults down to the floor below and there's gasps from the Court and shouts of ”Hear! Hear!” but I plows ahead and goes up to the judge's bench and falls to me knees and clasps me hands in front of me face and looks up at him high above me and pleads me own case.
”Please, Sir, please don't have me whipped as I didn't know I was doin' wrong 'cause I'm a stranger here, bein' a poor orphan girl what's lately come from sea and left here with no friends by her mates who don't want her on board with them no more 'cause they found out I was a girl and they put me in the school and Mistress Pimm's gonna kill me anyway, so why do it twice, Your Majesty, why not just let her do it and-”
”What? What's that you say?” shouts out the judge, a look of amazement on his face. Suddenly, everyone in the Court has their eyes riveted on me.
I don't know what he means, so I press on. ”...and I had the knife 'cause all sailors have-”
”No, no!” he bellows. ”What did you say about Mistress Pimm?”
”Oh,” I say, and settle back on my haunches. ”I've been apprenticed to the Lawson Peabody School for Young Girls, where they're gonna make a lady out of me...”
There is quiet ... then a snicker, then a chuckle, then fullblown laughter in the Court. Even Judge Thwackham is now smiling jowl to jowl. ”Oh, my joy,” he says, beaming down at me. ”After all these years I finally have one of Pimm's girls in my court and on a charge of Lewd and Lascivious Conduct yet! Oh, there is surely a G.o.d in Heaven and he is a just and righteous G.o.d and oh how this is going to put the old harpy's nose in a twist!”
He chortles some more and then says, ”My daughter-in-law, too. Just wait till she hears! She was one of Pimm's girls and she never lets us forget it with her nose in the air and her grand and haughty ways! Joy! Pure unadulterated joy!” The judge pounds his fist on the desktop, his eyes squeezed shut in glee. ”And, Brown, isn't your wife...?”
”Yes, Your Honor,” replies the delighted Brown, which is the cove with the wig that's tryin' to get me convicted. ”And Mr. Smith's daughters are Pimm's girls, too. We are all looking forward to great fun with this.” The man with the quill smiles and nods vigorously.
”Glorious, just glorious,” says the judge. ”Just wait till the Governor gets wind of this. His wife and his daughters, all three of 'em, the poor man. One still in attendance, too.”
After a few more har-hars the judge calms himself and turns back to one particular Pimm girl.
”So how shall we make a proper example of you, then, hmmm...” I swear he giggles in antic.i.p.ation. As I knows that all this jollity may not extend to me, I figures I better get back in my hands-clasped, eyes-supplicatin' condition and I does it, throwin' in a little lower lip quiverin' for good measure.
Judge Thwackham lifts his hammer and brings it down and intones, ”I find you, Miss Faber, guilty of the misdemeanor crime of Lewd and Lascivious Conduct, and I sentence you to an even dozen strokes of the cane...”
I start keening and I lean forward and put my forehead on the floor. Oh, to have my back bared and beaten b.l.o.o.d.y for public scorn!
”...such sentence to be suspended on the condition that I never, ever, see your face in my courtroom again!”
Mr. Pickering comes over and takes my arm and brings me to my feet to face the judge.
”What ... what? What does he mean?” I ask, all shaking and scared and confused.
”You are not to be beaten, Miss. I'll explain later. Thank the judge,” whispers Mr. Pickering in my ear.
”Thank you, my lord,” I manage to say.
”Save your thanks for the Lord above,” he says, ”if you manage to survive Mistress Pimm's wrath, which I sincerely doubt. Constable!”
Constable Wiggins looks up expectantly.
”I want you to take Miss Faber back to the school personally and I want you to walk. It is not far and it will do you both a world of good.”
”Beggin' Yer Honor's pardon,” says the vile Wiggins, ”but I must report that the female did try to escape twice during her arrest and confinement.”
”Very well, Constable, we must be careful, then. Therefore, I want you to take her back to Mistress Pimm...” He pauses and smiles and looks about him with a glow on his face and then says, ”...in chains.”
Wiggins leads me out of the court and takes me to a room and wraps a length of chain around my crossed wrists and threads a strong lock through the links and snaps it shut. The chain is about six feet long and he takes the other end and heads out, leading me like a dog on a leash. He takes his stick and he puts on his hat and we are out in the suns.h.i.+ne.
The air is cool and it makes me feel better. Mistress is gonna whip me up one side and down the other, but that's nothin' compared to a public beating, so I am thankful and will take what comes. I resolve to be good in the future.
I am grateful, too, to see that Mr. Pickering has joined the little parade in my honor up Court Street on our way to Beacon Hill. He comes up and walks alongside me, his slight smile still in place. There are some common and low types who jeer at me as we pa.s.s and his presence makes me feel safe and gives me comfort.
”I shall go with you to the school and explain to your headmistress what has happened and maybe it will go easier for you.”
I thank him and say that I don't have any money right now but I will have someday and I will pay him for his services then 'cause he did a really good job and got me out of a beating.
He nods and chuckles and asks, ”Was that what you sailors would call 'The Full Waif Broadside' that you pulled back there in Court? It was quite a performance.”
'”Twarn't no performance,” I sniffs. ”I was scared half out of my wits.”
”Well, whatever it was, it worked. Judge Thwackham doesn't usually let people off with a suspended sentence.”