Part 16 (1/2)
He felt oddly hollow inside, as if some part of him were absent-something he was used to having there. And he was uneasy.
Well, there were any number of reasons for unease: Inquisitors prowling Poloda Place, Kaj throwing Force tantrums, Haus leaning on them to expose Kaj, Sal leaning on them to plot murder. And then there was the seemingly trivial friction between Dejah and Laranth ... and Dejah and Den ... and Dejah and Rhinann. In fact, the only people who did not seem put off by the Zeltron were I-Five, Kaj, and Jax himself.
He was reminded suddenly of that alien roil of jealousy he'd felt in his gut when Dejah responded to Kaj's neediness. That was just plain weird. Yes, she was attractive, but he had filtered out the chemical portion of that, hadn't he?
He flashed back to the conversation he hadn't quite had with Laranth at the studio-to her comment about their leave-taking in the medbay. There had been a moment in which he had looked into her eyes and known-known with the certainty of Force-enhanced intuition-that they were on the same wavelength and that deep be neath the differences in their species, their philosophies, their training, and their personalities, they were . . . what?
He shook his head. It had been such a fleeting sensation. The feeling that he knew her, completely and candidly, and that she knew him with the same stark clarity. That they were, somehow, two parts of a whole that was held together by the Force itself.
Then it had been gone, blotted out by their mutual fear.
And something else.
He recalled it as if it had been yesterday: walking out into the ward beyond the room in which Laranth lay; the filtered sunlight, the others waiting for him, Dejah's sultry laughter, and the feeling that everything would be smoother, easier without the grim Twi'lek ...
Something cold and insidious crawled up from the pit of Jax's stomach. He took his hands from the chilled mug and sat back in the booth, staring at the play of light through the pale amber liquid. Had he been manipulated'? Had he let himself be manipulated?
”You all right? You look as if your life just pa.s.sed before your eyes.” laranth, her own large, dark eyes watching his face, slid into the booth next to him.
He tightened his hold on the Force, pulling its fabric around him like a comforting cloak. Life pa.s.sing before my eyes? Yeah, something like that. Something of his life had certainly pa.s.sed by him so swiftly he had been unable to even so much as touch it before it was gone. He turned to look at her, caught the honest concern in her eyes. Could he ever get that moment back? ”I just had a rather unwelcome realization.”
Her eyebrows rose. He shook his head as if to shake the epiphany away. ”This morning you said Kaj was getting c.o.c.ky. I just realized that I've been c.o.c.ky, too. And about something a lot more important than a practice droid.”
”You're just full of riddles today. You sound like Master Yoda.”
He shook his head again, wrapping his hands around the daro root beer. ”Master Yoda would never have made this mistake.”
She gazed at him, her eyes, he was sure, seeing more than he wanted them to. ”I'm sure, if you asked him, that he'd tell you that we all make that kind of mistake once in a while.”
He opened his mouth to ask what she meant by that kind of mistake when she turned her attention to a couple of Rodians who had just entered the dimly lit grotto, arm in arm. When she turned back to him, he could tell that another of his life's moments had pa.s.sed. The thought brought with it a tickle of nascent panic.
There is no emotion; there is peace.
”How's your little brother?” laranth asked, referring to Kaj.
”He's fine. He was playing sabacc with-with the guys.”
”He was playing sabacc with the Zeltron.”
Had he been that transparent? ”Is that a problem?”
”No. In fact, I think it's a good idea. She can keep him calm. She worked wonders with the Togruran female, by all accounts.” She tipped her head toward his drink and raised her voice just a bit. ”Why don't you finish that so we can go someplace more private?”
He struggled briefly with cognitive dissonance, confused for half a second by the soft warmth of her voice. The vague static that rose between them when she leaned in close to him.
There is no pa.s.sion; there is serenity.
He tossed back his drink and grinned at her, falling into his a.s.signed role. ”I'll go wherever you want to take me.”
She gave him a look that, from across the room, must have looked smoldering. Close up, the effect was somewhat different. More like scalding. He sobered. ”What-too much?” he murmured. She grasped his hand and hauled him out of the booth. They were making their way out of the cantina when a tall Devish woman pa.s.sed them in the entry.
”Laranth!” the woman cried with a broad grin. The Twi'lek returned the greeting, if not the smile.
”Who's the new man?” the Devish asked, a suggestive leer on her red, saturnine face.
”Don't know yet,” Laranth told her. ”But I'm going to find out.”
They left the cantina with the Devish's laughter following them down the walk.
”The new man?” Jax asked when they'd gone about a block. ”Is there an old one?”
”I meet a lot of people in that cantina, Jax. Contacts. Friends.”
Lovers? He wanted to ask, but didn't.
They went down three levels from the very verges of the s.p.a.ceport, into a maze of tunnels and alleys so complex that Jax wondered how anyone who was not a Jedi-or at least a Force adept-could find his or her way out again.
When he thought they must be coming to their destinatioHearingth stepped into a waiting airspeeder, and they were whisked away to a neighborhood not unlike the one in which Poloda Place was situated. Deep in the crisscross of alleys there was an old theater of the type where live stage plays were mounted to limited audiences. They had been all the rage some four hundred years earlier, but now the old building was long past its heyday and cloaked in grime and faded glory. It had a little art gallery on the first floor where artists unfamil iar to Jax displayed a diverse array of work, including, he noted with interest, some light murals.
Though the medium was the same as that used by the late Ves Volette, the style of display was entirely different. Instead of a bowl from which a fountain of cleverly shaped light sprang, these were affected by having the light leap up the wall from a long, narrow tray or even a bar that housed the emitters and field generators. They were significantly smaller than Volette's work, too, and the generators were miniature.
Still, he caught Laranth's attention and gestured at the works. ”Interesting.”
”Yeah. I wondered about those myself when you mentioned the plan for the Volettes. They don't have anything like the cohesive power of the fields in his work, though.”
”Might do in an emergency.”
Laranth shot him a hard glance. ”Are you planning on creating an emergency that will test that theory?”
Jax grimaced. ”I never plan emergencies. They just seem to happen.”
Laranth turned her head away, her right lekku curling and uncurling. She gestured toward what appeared to be a blank wall covered with a spray of light. ”Through here.”
”Through where?” Jax started to ask, when the Twi'lek stepped through the wall. Correction: hologram of a wall. He followed and found himself in a turbolift tube. He couldn't tell immediately whether they were going up or down. He used a tendril of the Force to find out. It was up, surprisingly.
They stepped out into a hallway that boasted several sets of doors. She led him to the far end of the hall and through a pair of doors that opened with a pop and a sigh.
Den played the holographic message again, heart tripping over itself at the radiance of Eyar's face, the sweetness of her voice. The impact of those things surprised him. He was at least a dozen years older than the Sull.u.s.tan songstress. Jaded. Tired. Old. But to hear her, see her, made him feel rejuvenated, especially when he considered the gist of her message: ”What's keeping you, lover? How soon can you be home?”
Home.
G.o.ds of hearth and hill, but that was a glorious word. Flearing it in his nund, he wondered if he even needed to wait for Jax's decision. Den got up from the workstation and, with a strange, quivering haste, began to pack.
He was just covering all his bases, he told himself. Just preparing for any eventuality. Just packing lightly, the essentials-which were all he ever traveled with, to tell the truth. A career in the news business had taught him to always be prepared to fly out the door on a moment's notice, with never more than a single small valise's worth of stuff.
In ten minutes he was ready. All that was needed was the use of a credit stick to secure a berth on an outgoing starliner. That would take less than five minutes.
He looked about the room and was surprised at how little emotion he felt. He thought of I-Five, his friend. He knew he was being cowardly by leaving without saying good-bye. But he couldn't wait-couldn't take the chance of losing his resolve. Me had to go while he had the nerve. Because the way things were going, he might not get another chance.
”Enough adventures,” he muttered. ”It's time to rest.”