Part 3 (1/2)

”There's only one possible answer to that conundrum, and it doesn't take any guessing,” said I. ”The reply would have been: 'Cold 'am or beef, sir; chops, if you choose to wait.' Those words are probably now being spoken to some hundreds of sad travellers less fortunate than our favoured and sylvan selves.”

”If you would like to have a chafing-dish in your family,” remarked Jack, ”you'll have to marry an American girl.”

”I'm no Duke,” said I.

”Earls aren't to be despised, if there are no Dukes handy,” said Molly. ”Besides, it's getting a little obvious to marry a Duke.”

”Which is the reason you took up with a chauffeur,” retorted Jack.

”You call yourself a 'penniless hearl,'” went on Molly, ”and I suppose, of course, you are 'belted.' All earls are, in poetry and serials, which must be convenient when you're _really_ very poor, because if you're hungry, you can always take a reef in your belt, while mere plain men have no such resource. Have you got yours on now?”

”It's in p.a.w.n,” said I. ”It's no joke about being penniless. Jack will tell you I'm obliged to let my dear old house in Oxfords.h.i.+re, and the only luxuries I can afford are a few horses and a few books. I prefer them to necessities--since I can't have both.”

I thought that Molly might laugh, but instead she looked abnormally grave. ”Jack told me,” she said, ”how, when you and he came over to America, six or seven years ago, to shoot big game, you avoided girls, for fear people might suppose your alleged bear hunt was really an heiress hunt. I forgive Jack, because that was in the dark ages, before he knew there was a Me. But why should a girl be shunned by nice men solely because she's an heiress? Can't she be as pretty and lovable in herself as a poor girl?”

”She can,” I replied, emphasising my words with a look in Molly's face. ”No doubt she often is. But I do wish some American girls who marry men from our side of the water wouldn't let the papers advertise their weddings as 'functions' (sounds like obscure workings of physical organs), attended by the families of their exclusive acquaintance, worth, when lumped together, a billion of dollars or so.”

”I know. It's as if they were prize pigs at a fair, and were of no importance except for their dollars,” sighed Molly. ”And then, the detectives to watch the presents! It's disgusting. But some of our newspapers are like Mr. Hyde. Poor Dr. Jekyll can't do anything with him; and anyhow, you needn't think we're all like that. I have a friend who is one of the greatest heiresses in America, but she hates her money. It has made her very unhappy, though she's only twenty-one years old. If you could see Mercedes, with her lovely, strange sad face, and big, wistful eyes----”

”I can think of Mercedes only with a s.h.i.+ny grey body, upholstered crimson; and for eyes, huge acetylene lamps,” I was rude enough to break in; for I fancied that I saw what Mistress Molly would fain be up to, and my heart was not of the rubber-ball description, to be caught in the rebound. If Molly cherished a secret intention of springing her peerless friend Mercedes upon me, during this tour which she had organised, it seemed better for everyone concerned that the hope should be nipped in the bud. It was with unwonted meekness that she yielded to being suppressed, and I suffered immediate pangs of remorse. To atone, I did my best to be agreeable. All the way to Southampton I praised automobiles in general and hers in particular; admitted that in half a day I had become half a convert; and soon I had the pleasure of believing that the divine Molly had forgotten my sin.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ”SOMETIMES JACK DROVE, WITH MOLLY BESIDE HIM”.]

CHAPTER III

My Lesson

”The broad road that stretches.”

--R.L. STEVENSON.

Forty-eight hours later we drove out of Havre, bound for Paris and Lucerne, where I was to ”pick up” that mule, and become a lone wanderer on the face of the earth. Gotteland had seen to the s.h.i.+pping of the car from Southampton, while we spent a day on the crowded sands of Trouville, where I was so lucky as to meet no one I knew.

It was only now, Winston said, that I should realise to the full the joys of motoring, impossible to taste under present conditions in England. Our way was to lie along the Seine to Paris, and Jack recalled to us Napoleon's saying that ”Paris, Rouen, and Havre form only one city, of which the Seine is the highway.”

Last year, these two had seen the country of the Loire together, under curious and romantic conditions, and now Molly was to be shown another great river in France. We changed places in the car, like players in the old game of ”stage coach.” Sometimes Molly had the reins, and I the seat of honour by her side. Sometimes Jack drove, with Molly beside him, I in the tonneau; then I knew that they were perfectly happy, though Gotteland and I could hear every word they said, and their talk was generally of what we pa.s.sed by the way, occasionally interspersed by a ”Do you remember?”

Now, if there is an insufferable companion under the sun, it is the average ”well-informed person” who continually dins into your ears things you were born knowing. This I resent, for I flatter myself that I was born knowing a good many exceptionally interesting and exciting things which can't be learned by studying history, geography, or even _t.i.t-Bits_. Jack Winston, however, though he has actually taken the trouble to house in his memory an enormous number of facts,--”those brute beasts of the language,”--has so tamed and idealised the creatures as to make them not only tolerable but attractive. I can even hear him tell things which I myself don't know or have forgotten, without instantly wis.h.i.+ng to throw a jug of water at his good-looking head; indeed, I egg him on and have been tempted to jot down an item of information on my s.h.i.+rt cuff, with a view of fixing it in my mind, and eventually getting it off as my own.

Whenever Molly or I admired any object, natural or artificial, it seemed that Jack knew all about it. She showed a flattering interest in everything he said, and, fired by her compliments, he suddenly exclaimed: ”Look here, Molly, suppose we don't hurry on, the way we've been planning to do? Last year we had that wonderful chain of feudal chateaux in Touraine, to show us what kingly and n.o.ble life was in dim old days. Now, all along the Seine and near it, we shall have some splendid churches instead of castles. We can hold a revel, almost an orgie, of magnificent ecclesiastical architecture if we like to spend the time. I've got Ferguson's book and Parker's, anyhow, and why shouldn't we run off the beaten track----”

”No, dearest,” said his wife gently, but firmly, and I could have hugged her. My b.u.mp of reverence for the Gothic in all its developments is creditably large, but in my present ”lowness of mind,”

as Molly would say, a long procession of cold, majestic cathedrals would have reduced me to a limp pulp. ”No,” Molly went on, ”I can't help thinking that the churches would be a sort of anticlimax after our beloved, warm-blooded chateaux. It would be like being taken to see your great-grandmother's grave when you'd been promised a matinee.

You know we engaged to get Lord Lane into his lonely fastnesses as soon as possible----”

”I don't believe Monty's in any hurry for them,” said Jack, crestfallen. ”You ask him if----”