Part 8 (1/2)
The next morning, bright and early, ”two travellers might have been seen” crossing one of the ponderous bridges that lead over the Schuylkill from Philadelphia to the opposite sh.o.r.e. The one was a stout young cavalier, arrayed in fustian brown; the other was a pretty youth, attired in broadcloth blue, and brilliant was his flas.h.i.+ng eye, and coal-black was his hair. By my troth, good masters, a fairer youth ne'er touched the light guitar within the boudoir of my lady.
”Now, by my knightly oath,” quoth he in fustian brown, ”my soul expands in the soft beauty of this rosy morn, my blood dances merrily through every vein, and I feel like eating a thundering good breakfast at the next hostelrie.--What sayest _thou_, fair youth?”
”Of a truth, Sir George,” quoth he in broadcloth blue, in a voice of liquid melody, ”I am hungered, and would gladly sit me down before a flagon of coffee, and a goodly platter of ham and eggs.”
”Bravely spoken,” quoth the stout young cavalier, with watering mouth; and then, relapsing into silence, the train journeyed onward.
Soon they paused before a goodly hostelrie, which bore upon its swinging signboard the device of ”The Pig and the Snuffers.”
”What ho, within there! House, house, I say!” hastily roared the youth in fustian brown, as he vigorously applied his cowhide boot to the door of the inn.
Forth came mine host of the Pig and Snuffers--a jovial knave and a right merry one, I ween, with mighty paunch and nose of ruby red. Now, by the rood! a funnier knight than this same Rupert Harmon, ne'er drew a foaming tankard of nut-brown ale, or blew a cloud from a short pipe in a chimney corner.
”Welcome, my masters--a right good welcome,” quoth the fat host of the Pig and Snuffers.
”Bestir thyself, knave,” quoth the cove in fustian brown, as he entered the inn followed by the pretty youth in broadcloth blue--”beshrew me, I am devilish hungry, and athirst likewise. Knave, a stoup of sack, and then let ham, eggs and coffee smoke upon the festive board!”
”To hear is to obey,” said he of the Pig and Snuffers, as he waddled out of the room in order to give the necessary instructions for breakfast.
It came! Ha, ha! Shall I attempt to describe that breakfast? Nay--my powers are inadequate to the task.
But, dropping the style of my friend, G.P.R. James, the great English novelist, I shall continue my narrative in my own humble way.
We breakfasted, and cheerfully set out upon our journey. The weather was delightful; the odor of spring flowers perfumed the air, and the soft breeze made music amid the branches of the trees. On every side of us were the evidences of agricultural prosperity--fine, s.p.a.cious farm-houses, immense barns, vast orchards, and myriads of thriving domestic animals. St.u.r.dy old Dutch farmers, jogging leisurely along in their great wagons to and from the city, saluted us with a hearty ”good morrow;” and one jolly old fellow who was returning home after having disposed of a quant.i.ty of produce, insisted upon giving us a ”lift” in his wagon. So we got in, and about dark reached the farmer's home--a substantial and comfortable mansion that indicated its owner to be a man of considerable wealth.
I was surprised at the powers of endurance exhibited by my fair friend, who after a pretty hard day's journey, exhibited not the slightest symptom of fatigue. She kept up a most exuberant flow of spirits, and seemed delighted with the novelty of the journey which we had commenced.
She was truly a charming companion, full of wit, sentiment and intelligence; and I look back upon those days with a sigh of regret--for such unalloyed happiness I shall never see again.
The good old farmer, with characteristic hospitality, declared that we should go not further that night; and we gladly availed ourselves of his kindness. He introduced us to his wife--a fine old lady, and a famous knitter of stockings--and also to his only daughter, a plump, rosy, girl about eighteen years old. This damsel surveyed my disguised companion with a look of the most intense admiration; and I saw at once that she had actually fallen in love with Mrs. Raymond!
”There will be some fun here,” said I to myself--”I must keep dark and watch the movements. The idea of a woman falling love with one of her own s.e.x, is rather rich!”
After a capital supper--ye G.o.ds, what German sausages!--I accepted the old farmer's invitation to inspect his barn, cattle, &c. My fair friend was taken possession of by the amorous Dutch damsel, who seemed to be particularly anxious to display the beauties of her _dairy_, which is always the pride of a farmer's daughter. I could not help laughing at the look of comical embarra.s.sment which poor Mrs. Raymond a.s.sumed, when the buxom young lady seized her and dragged her off.
I of course praised the farmer's barn and stock with the air of a judge of such matters, and we returned to the house, where I applied myself to the task of entertaining the old lady, and in this I succeeded so well, that she presented me with a nice pair of stockings of her own knitting.
After a while, my fair friend and the farmer's daughter returned;--and I noticed that Mrs. Raymond looked exceedingly annoyed and perplexed, while the countenance of the Dutch damsel exhibited anger and disappointment. I could easily guess how matters stood; but, of course, I said nothing.
During the evening, my fair friend had an opportunity of speaking to me in private; and she said to me, with a deep blush, although she could not help smiling as she spoke--
”I have something to tell you which is really very awkward and ridiculous, yet you can't think how it vexes me. Now don't laugh at me in that provoking manner, but listen. That great, silly Dutch girl, after showing me her dairy, which is really a very pretty affair and well worth seeing, suddenly made the most furious love to me--supposing me, of course, to be what I seem, a boy. I was terribly confused and frightened, and knew not what to say, nor how to act. Throwing her fat arms around me, she declared that I was so handsome that she could not resist me, and that I must become her lover. I told her that I was too young to know anything about love; and then the creature volunteered to teach me all about it. Then I intimated that I could not think of marrying at present, as I was too poor to support a wife; but she laughed at the idea of matrimony, and said that she only wanted me to be her little lover. Finally I effected my release by promising to meet her about midnight, in the orchard by the gate. Now, is not all this very dreadful--to be persecuted by a big, unrelenting Dutch girl in this manner?”
I roared with laughter. It was rude and ungallant, I confess; but how could I help it? Mrs. Raymond made a desperate effort to become angry; but so ludicrous was the whole affair, that she could not resist the contagious influence of my mirth; and she, too, almost screamed with laughter.
When our mirth had somewhat subsided, I inquired--
”Well, are you going to keep an appointment with the Dutch Venus?”
”What an absurd question! Of course not! She may wait by the orchard gate all night, for what _I_ care--the great, lubbery fool!”
”What do you say to _my_ meeting her at the appointed time and place? I will act as your representative, and make every satisfactory explanation.”