Part 33 (1/2)
”She has feelings for you.”
d.a.m.n, Lucan had always been perceptive. Caden nodded.
”You have feelings for her, as well. You've adopted a bit of her color in your signature. Despite the fact you haven't spoken the Call, she's your mate.”
Too perceptive. ”It doesn't matter.”
”Would she refuse you?”
”Can we change the subject?”
”Talking about your problems gets my mind off my own.” Lucan grabbed the whiskey off the nearby table and took another swig with a lopsided grin. He'd had just enough alcohol to numb his pain and enough mischief to exploit Caden's pity. Sod. ”Would she say no?”
”She'd accept.”
”You haven't mated with her because . . . you want a witch?” Caden snorted. Lucan must know better than that. ”Of course not.”
”You don't love her?”
”I do.”
Lucan stroked his chin as if perplexed. ”She's against magic?”
”Quite the opposite. She persuaded Bram to allow her to transcast news of Mathias's return.” ”The Council agreed?” Lucan looked genuinely shocked.
”No. Bram finally agreed that distributing the information without their blessing was best.”
”There will be h.e.l.l to pay. Good for him, doing the right thing. Sydney wants to help, then? That's why she's transcasting, despite the danger?”
”Yes.” Caden sighed, knowing where Lucan's line of questioning was headed. Might as well beat him to the destination. ”And that is precisely why I haven't spoken the Call. The more she involves herself in magickind, the higher up Mathias moves her name on his. .h.i.t list.”
”You don't want to lose her the way you lost Westin. Or the way I lost Anka.” Either would devastate Caden. ”Something like that.” Lucan slammed his bottle down on the table and lunged in Caden's face, bracing his fists against the back of the sofa, effectively pinning Caden there. ”You stupid f.u.c.k! You have a woman who loves you and would accept your mating call. Yet you're willing to flush it down the toilet to avoid possible pain.” He scoffed and backed away. ”You have no idea-”
”I do!” Caden shoved Lucan aside and jumped to his feet, anger roiling through his body. ”You weren't there when Westin died. I was!”
Lucan sighed. ”An accident.”
”That doesn't make him any less dead. And then you-I saw you chained to a bed for weeks. I watched you with Sabelle.” Lucan winced, but Caden pressed on. ”You nearly killed her for trying to save you.
For as long as Anka stays in Shock's bed, there will be an infinitely deep hole in your heart. Why the h.e.l.l would I sign up for that?”
”Because I wouldn't trade a moment of what Anka and I had together. For any reason. It's my own b.l.o.o.d.y fault for not protecting her, but I adore her. Love her. I'd never known true happiness until I mated with her. Would I give up all that bliss because I'm hurting now? Never. You have the advantage, idiot. I didn't find Anka until I was nearly three hundred. You're only thirty. You and Sydney could have hundreds of years to enjoy each other.”
”Or she could G.o.dd.a.m.n die tomorrow.” Caden shouted. ”She constantly puts herself in danger. I do everything in my power to keep her safe, but she doesn't want my protection. She'd rather make a difference for magickind. How can I protect her against a monster like Mathias? Magically, I'm no match for him. Knowing my mate was in his clutches would kill me.”
”I'm living proof that it won't. You don't want the pain or the mourning that goes with losing a mate, so you're going to toss her away now? b.l.o.o.d.y stupid.” Suddenly, Lucan growled and lifted him by his s.h.i.+rt.
”Love rarely comes more than once in a lifetime. If you p.i.s.s her away, be prepared for centuries of emptiness. And without your longer lifespan, you'll see her grow old and turn to dust so quickly your head will spin. Then you'll stand alone, a young wizard on the outside, an old, withering man on the inside, wis.h.i.+ng for just ten minutes with your one true love. And she will be gone. I'll be standing there to say I told you so. Because ten minutes with your beloved is better than a lifetime without her.” Like needles piercing her skin, her soul, Sydney felt the pain of Caden's departure. Inside, she ached-even while she wanted to throw half of Bram's priceless knickknacks against his pristine wall.
And yet . . . after the up-close view of what Lucan had become and hearing of Westin's heartbreaking death, Sydney couldn't really blame Caden.
She wanted to be furious. Mostly, she was sad.
Maybe if she found some way to end this war sooner, take Mathias down now. . . . If the evil wizard's threat against her ended, she and Caden could deal with the rest of their issues one by one. Likely, it would take time, but as long as they ended up together, she could learn patience.
Evening lengthened into night, then into early morning, and still Sydney paced her room, turning over ideas, rejecting them, starting over. After hours of filtering through ideas, two remained. First, she had to find that magical book and discern once and for all if the feelings they shared had originated from the book. If so, she had to undo the magic. And let the chips fall.
Second, she had to help magickind in a larger way. Transcasting Mathias's return was a start. Bram hadn't let her give details about the attacks-yet. But if magickind knew what Mathias had done, what he planned to do, and got angry at the horrific violence Mathias was inflicting, magickind might band together. If so, Mathias didn't stand a chance. But they needed an advantage.
One sat languis.h.i.+ng behind bars downstairs.
Sydney glanced at the clock. Nearly three in the morning. No time like the present.
Down the dark stairs she traveled, creeping into Bram's office. In a secret compartment behind the sofa, she located the book. After they'd returned from attacking Mathias's warehouse, Bram had disclosed his hiding place to all the females in the house . . . just in case.
Extracting the little book, she lit a small desktop lamp and spread the pages open with a pen. Quickly, she leafed through the book, looking for her previous two entries. She couldn't find the first. Or the second. What the h.e.l.l? Blasted book made no sense. Then again, it was magic.
With a sigh, Sydney stared at the blank pages. What to write?
Within a few minutes she crafted another message to her ”Magical Diary,” wis.h.i.+ng that she hated Caden and he loathed her as well. They would give each other coal for Christmas, dead roses for Valentine's Day, and snarl like pit bulls every day in between. Then she stared at the page, waiting for the diary's inevitable message.
To wish for enmity, you are too late.
This fantasy cannot be your fate.
Because true love has claimed your hearts, you two are sworn never to part.
True love? A smile burst across her face. Hearing that her fantasies hadn't incited false feelings was a huge relief-and made her all the more impatient to get on with task number two. The sooner she found a way to rally magickind around Bram, the sooner she and Caden could work through their differences.
That meant trying to talk information out of Zain.
Though he was likely to be a hostile interview subject and it was the middle of the night, she wasn't waiting. Who knew whether Mathias could do extra damage to magickind while she waited for a more polite hour? Zain was behind bars, had no wand, and Bram had explained that only his houseguests could teleport in and out. The dungeon dampened magical ability, too. She'd be safe long enough to ask a few questions.
But how? Snark wouldn't serve her. Zain's T-s.h.i.+rts suggested he would snark back, which would be counterproductive. She'd be better served using their previous work connection and playing the stupid human card.
Sydney grabbed Bram's little video camera and made her way through the dark house, down to where Bram kept Zain locked away.
She eased the door open. It was pitch black inside. No windows, no lights. The room smelled like damp stones and despair. She s.h.i.+vered.
”Why are you here, Sydney?” Zain rasped out. He sounded weak.
”How did you-”
”Your scent.”
She didn't think taking a shower would fix that. ”Where's a light?”
”There isn't one.” He barely got the words out.