Part 30 (1/2)
She opened her mouth, but Duke grabbed Caden's arm and placed a hand at Sydney's back. Moments later, they tumbled through emptiness, then landed in Bram's office. Sabelle was already waiting, and though Caden wanted to be the one to tend to Sydney, her injuries weren't life threatening. And he was too weak. As much as he hated to admit it, Bram's sister was both talented and capable of handling Sydney.
”Go with her,” Caden murmured. ”Let her patch you up. I'll be along shortly.” She held up the handbag. ”As long as she's quick. I've got good film and the book inside.” Leveling a sharp glance at Bram, she challenged, ”You're not backing out, right?”
”The matter is too serious for the Council to remain silent. You can transcast.” Fury shot through Caden. Before he could object, Sydney rushed Sabelle out the door, excitement humming off of her. Caden wanted to go along, hold her hand, shout some sense into her, but the fair-haired general stood behind his desk and barked questions.
”Did anyone see Mathias teleport out?”
”Yes,” Tynan snarled. ”I was just about to blast the b.l.o.o.d.y s.a.d.i.s.t when I saw the warning explosion.
Unfortunately, so did he. He grabbed that gla.s.s globe his followers used to create Anarki and flashed out. After that, I grabbed a couple of the captured soldiers and left.”
”f.u.c.k!” Ice spat the word everyone was thinking.
”At least we blew up his facility and d.a.m.n near a thousand zombies,” Duke added.
Including his friend. Pain stabbed Caden in the gut, but even as it did, he knew he had to let go. What was done, was done. War was h.e.l.l. He just didn't want to suffer any more losses.
”How was he making them in the first place?” Caden demanded. ”What is that gla.s.s sphere? One of those soldiers was my friend.”
Mercy tempered Bram's battle-fierce expression for a moment. ”I don't know. A wizard can torture a human's soul from him and replace their will with his bidding. Normally, he can convert but a few at a time at the cost of a great deal of energy. That gla.s.s ball his followers were wielding is a mystery to me.
I'll start investigating.”
Then Bram's mercy hardened, and he glared at Caden. ”The bad news is, Mathias got away. We were supposed to have more time to trap him so he'd go up in flames with the building. We agreed to that plan. Why the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l did you detonate off the charge early?” Caden's temper spiked. He wasn't one of the Doomsday Brethren. Bram wasn't his commanding officer.
But you agreed to help, whispered the pesky voice in his head. He'd had a mission and he'd panicked and jettisoned the mission. Period.
”The Anarki had Sydney cornered and were about to kill her. I got her out.”
”d.a.m.n you!” Bram charged from behind his desk and got in Caden's face. ”If you'd learn some b.l.o.o.d.y magic, you might have saved her without aborting the mission.”
”I used it!”
Bram raised a brow. ”On purpose?” Into Caden's silence, he added, ”Because of your stubborn refusal to learn magic, we blew our surprise and perhaps Shock's cover so you could save Sydney. The fact she's your mate and you won't claim her is clouding your judgment.” Caden absorbed Bram's words with anger and guilt. He hated it, but the wizard was right.
”You're no longer fighting with us. If your brother needs help, ring me. Otherwise, until you embrace your magic,” Bram shook his head. ”Get out.”
Caden stomped up the stairs. Get out? He'd be more than b.l.o.o.d.y happy to. Bram ordering him gone hadn't hurt in the least. That was fury brewing in his gut. Definitely. He didn't need this group of wizards.
In fact, he didn't belong tangled up in magic. He'd take Lucan back to his own house, as the healer recommended. Bram's a.s.sistance hadn't helped locate Anka, so Caden would continue that quest alone.
He'd grab his belongings, his brother, and go.
But what about Sydney?
She couldn't return to her human life, and unless he mated with her, he had no business taking her with him. She would be safer with Bram and the others, especially now that Mathias had seen her face. It all made sense except . . . the thought of leaving her made him want to tear something apart with his bare hands. How the h.e.l.l could he protect Sydney from a distance?
He couldn't.
”Ouch! d.a.m.n it, I thought magical healing would be less painful. Did you fry my skin together?” Sydney. At the top of the stairs, he shook his head wryly. Even when his life was s.h.i.+t, she amused him.
He had to figure out some way to watch over her and his brother. He wasn't going to leave her when her life was in danger. After all, the diary had been stolen out from under Bram, so clearly the wizard made mistakes.
Lately, Caden had been riding the thin line between the magical heritage he rejected and the human world he embraced. He'd continue doing it to keep Sydney alive. He refused to step over the line while she sought the very world he wanted to escape. As much as he loved her, they wanted different futures.
Given that, linking his survival to her as his mate made little sense. She'd never be happy if she followed him to his human existence in Dallas. He had no doubt that if he mated with Sydney, with her so determined to help magickind, she'd end up dead and he'd become exactly like his brother.
Being back in the UK had been a homecoming, but if he remained with Sydney, she'd want him to join the Doomsday Brethren. Today's battle had made him feel vital and part of a unit again, but he'd screwed up. Lost his edge. Maybe losing his platoon had done that. Whatever it was, he didn't want to endure the pain again or put Bram and the others at risk.
As Bram had ceased Caden's involvement with the Doomsday Brethren, he needed to do the same with Sydney. After settling Lucan in at home, he'd protect her, but no more.
As he entered the bedroom, Sabelle left, answering his unspoken question as she did. ”Conrad just left.
Sydney's fine.”
”Indeed,” Sydney insisted as she dug into her handbag and extracted the camera. ”Help me edit this film?
I know you're against me transcasting, but you saw how evil Mathias was. We can't let him continue to run amok. I want to transcast within the hour.”
His advice was going to fall on deaf ears, but Caden felt compelled to say it. ”You understand that there's no going back? You'll both incur Mathias's supreme wrath and be trapped in magickind forever.”
”Trapped?” She frowned. ”I have a chance now to save lives and achieve everything I ever dreamed.
Nothing worth doing is without risk.”
”Pretty speech. I don't think it will comfort you when Mathias tries to kill you. I'm not helping you transcast.”
She c.o.c.ked her head and peered at him, clearly puzzling something out. ”You're walking away and leaving this mess to Bram and the others and wasting your abilities when you could be helping, too.”
”Bram tossed me out, and I'm leaving something I never wanted to be involved in.” Sydney paused, drew back. ”You're leaving me as well.” Caden saw no reason to beat about the bush. ”I'll protect you. I can't be this close, care this much, and lose you. I . . . can't.”
Clenching her fists, Sydney tried to hold back sudden tears. And failed. ”I don't understand you. First, you ran from your parents and your heritage, spent ten years trying to be American and human, when you're neither. You came back to help your brother, why? Obligation? Because you couldn't avoid it without feeling like a heel? You're not running from the Doomsday Brethren and me. You're running from yourself-like you have been your whole life.”
Caden accepted the rebuke in silence. Sydney simply didn't understand. Nor could she relate to the tangle of affection and duty he felt for Lucan after losing Westin. And she had no way of comprehending the disastrous results of a failed magical mating. Would it make a difference if she did? No, it was too late now. Some things simply weren't meant to be.
”You've oversimplified everything,” he said.
”Have I? Explain to me exactly how this isn't running from your destiny.” CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ”SYDNEY, I DON'T EXPECT you to understand.”
Which meant he wasn't even going to try to explain. Grief felt like a blow to the chest.
”Make me understand. Why?”
He raked a frustrated hand through mussed brown hair.
”Magic isn't always . . . good.”
”Mathias proves that.”
”I mean that using magic, even the sort you think is good, can change your life in terrible ways.” His words renewed her dread. She'd fantasized about him in the Doomsday Diary to lure him to her side.