Part 23 (1/2)

Sydney swept past him, and he grabbed her arm, holding her at his side. At the soft feel of her, his c.o.c.k stiffened. Instantly. She should not affect him so quickly. He'd had enough s.e.x to be content for a few days, surely. But even the hint of her surrender made heat slide over his skin and pool in his groin. Thick desire muddled his mind until he could only think of possessing her-completely. Duke and Bram and the others could wait.

Caden tumbled her to the bed. She gasped as he rolled her beneath him and positioned himself between her thighs. They wore too many clothes, d.a.m.n it. His jeans, her wispy little nightgown. But he could fix that.

Lifting the hem of her gown, he stared into Sydney's dark, stormy eyes, down at the parted berry lips luring him like a siren call. They looked sweet and plump and perfect, and could be his so easily.

He lowered his head, then hesitated. He knew, knew, that she was his mate. If he kissed her, the words would tumble out. As much as his instincts were screaming yes!, if he followed through, he'd tie himself irrevocably to her, to magic, and this place forever, stuck with a destiny he didn't want. And he'd put Sydney in more danger.

With a growled curse, he levered himself up on shaky arms and sat on the edge of the bed, away from her. b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, if he wasn't breathing hard. His every muscle and nerve urged him to kiss her, spill the words, complete the deed. His head knew better.

”What was that about?” Sydney sat up and was suddenly at his back, melting him with her nearness and the mixed scent of her arousal and anger.

”I should be training with the others.”

”You order me about.” Her voice hitched. ”Tumble me into bed to change the subject, then avoid kissing me, as if I'm diseased.”

He whirled and found her earnest face-and temptation-so close. He put distance between them.

”Sydney, the more tangled up in you I get, the more dangerous it is for both of us.”

”That didn't stop you from spending two days in my bed.” Caden hesitated, hurt tingeing both her words and her expression. Sydney didn't often show her vulnerabilities. Now that she was, he had no good answer to right her smile.

”Witches and wizards require s.e.x during transition. Without it, they will die.” The hurt deepened. ”So I could have been anyone? Or was I merely convenient because I happened to have that book you wanted so b.l.o.o.d.y bad?”

”I wanted you.” He grabbed her by the shoulders. ”Only you. Duke insisted he bring in someone else to transition with me, and I refused. It is helpful that you had the book, but even if you hadn't, I would have insisted on being with you. I'm not a heartless cad. I care about you. But having a relations.h.i.+p now isn't smart if we want to stay alive.”

”Rubbis.h.!.+ Excuses. Every time we've had s.e.x, you've more than hinted it was against your better judgment. I propositioned; you refused. The night you beat down my door, you couldn't run away quickly enough the next morning. The evening you bent me over my kitchen table, I asked you to make love. Then your transition hit, and I happened to be the only woman handy. All along, you wanted to stop my story more than you wanted me.”

Caden's jaw dropped. ”You're mad. I want you until I can't breathe, until my thoughts are tangled inside out, until I could nearly die for not touching you. But I don't want your death on my conscience. I don't want to hurt you when I leave.”

I don't want to meet the same end as my brother.

”Leave?” She blinked, her thoughts clearly working as she fought tears.

He wanted to rea.s.sure her. But that was pointless.

”Once your brother is well, you'll go back to Dallas?”

”Yes.”

”Alone?”

Saying the word would hurt them both, so he merely nodded.

”Which leaves us nowhere.” She tensed, absently plucking at a stray thread on the coverlet.

”It's for the best.” He willed her to understand. The sooner she could safely leave, the sooner he could resume his normal life and put magic behind him. They could both live, if not happily-ever-after, at least without constantly looking over their shoulder.

”You're being a coward.”

The slur felt like a flaming torch to Caden's chest. She didn't understand how much he feared mating and hated magic. She hadn't been running happily with her laughing younger brother through the gra.s.s one moment, then seen him hit by errant magic and fall the next, never to rise again. She couldn't fathom the devastation this war would bring, the growing certainty that, if he mated her, she would be targeted for death. All too clearly, he saw that if he didn't find a way out of this war soon, magic would not only change his life, but ruin it-and hers.

But more explanations would only prolong the inevitable and change nothing.

”I'm sorry you feel that way.” Caden straightened his clothes and donned his discarded trainers.

”For the first time in my life, I began to think that I might be falling in love with a man who liked and understood me, didn't think my theories were crazy. Supported me. Even my own parents haven't done that.” Her voice was a low thing that throbbed with pain, striking him deep in the chest. ”If you're going to kill my hope, help me understand.”

Love? She might love him? b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l. . . . Surprise washed over him, along with a cold chill in his veins.

Yet wasn't the reverse true? If he really considered the situation, wasn't he falling for the stubborn, brave, intelligent, loyal reporter as well?

”They're waiting for me on the training field.” He backed away, toward the door. ”You likely won't believe me, but I never meant to hurt you.”

With that, he cast one last look at Sydney, looking so soft and kissable among the rumpled bedding.

Then, before he did something reckless he'd regret, he left, closing the door with a soft click behind him.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

NIGHT DESCENDED AND MEALTIME arrived. Bram, Ice, and Duke looked sweaty and haggard after a long day of training and a fruitless evening of searching for Anka. The one responsible for their sore muscles, Marrok, ate energetically, seemingly untaxed by the day's hard work as he consumed nearly his body weight in food. How any one man could eat that much, Sydney had no idea. That he sneaked heated glances at his mate, Olivia, didn't escape her notice either.

Everyone else ignored them. Especially Caden.

Seated beside her, he carefully avoided brus.h.i.+ng elbows or looking at her. He said absolutely nothing.

After Sydney's day of nursing Aquarius in a desperate attempt to cool her down, fending off a hundred questions during a brief phone call to Holly, scribbling her thoughts about her next magickind story, and trying not to feel her heart shattering into a million pieces-the distance he put between them hurt.

It was possible during all the time they'd worked, touched, and fought off the Anarki together that he'd come to care for her. But not enough to cross the chasm between them. He wanted to abandon the very world she'd been seeking her whole life. He had some disliking for magic, and if he ever discovered that she'd written in that book to bring him to her bed, he'd hate her for it.

”Any change in Aquarius?” Bram asked, breaking the heavy silence.

Sydney shook her head and picked at the tender meat on her plate. Guilt and heartache were appet.i.te killers. ”No.”

She supposed she should be thankful that Zain had left her friend alive. She didn't know if his spell prevented her from dying from her injuries or if Sydney's efforts to keep Aquarius cool with compresses and ice packs had helped. Whatever the cause, thankfully, her resilient friend had hung on.

Bram turned to his sister. ”Did you call for Conrad, the healer? He's had more experience than Millie, and he tended Marrok well enough a few weeks past.” The blonde glanced at Ice before she focused on her brother. ”He popped by earlier. Said he's never seen anything like it either. He can't help, but suggested the helbresele spell.”

”A healing spell would be lovely, but until Zain awakens and gives his blessing, that's impossible.” That didn't improve Sydney's mood. She didn't fully understand the spell, but even if Zain was conscious, he certainly wouldn't consent to help Aquarius.

Sabelle turned toward Caden. ”He also looked in on Lucan.”

”I spoke with Conrad before he left.” From Caden's tone she wondered if his brother's condition had worsened.

”He told you that we should try moving him to his own home? That he might improve with exposure to more familiar surroundings?”

”Yes. I'll be preparing his house over the next day or two. Anka put up a quite a fight, and it's in shambles. As soon as it's ready, I'll move him.”