Part 48 (2/2)

At times it is even akin to pain.”

”Oh well, the pain will soon be over,” said she. ”We're at Utrecht now.

Soon we'll be going to Zeeland, from Zeeland back to Rotterdam; and that's the end of the trip--and my engagement. It will be 'good-by'

then.”

”I feel now as if it would be good-by to everything,” I sighed. ”I never nursed a fond gazelle----”

”You tried to nurse two,” said she. ”You're like the dog who dropped the substance for the shadow.”

”Which is which, please?--though to specify would perhaps be ungallant to both. Besides, I haven't dropped either of them. If Phyllis is lost to me, I may still be able to fall back on Nell, whom n.o.body else seems to claim at present.”

”Oh, don't they?” murmured the L.C.P.

”Do they?”

”She may have left dozens of adorers at home, to pick up again when she goes back. She's a beautiful girl,” said her chaperon.

”Radiantly so, and I used to think also possessed of a beautiful disposition. But since she flew out at poor little Phyllis, who was asking for advice and comfort, and cried, 'I hate you, Phil--' Now, you're a woman. What had Phyllis said to put her in a rage?”

The L.C.P. laughed. ”Enough to put a saint in a rage,” said she. ”And Nell isn't a saint. But they've been more devoted to each other than ever, since, so she must have repented and apologized, and been forgiven, before the moon went down. Oh, you poor puzzled creature! I wouldn't be a _man_ for anything!”

And that was all the satisfaction I could get from her. I remain as much in the dark as ever. But Robert van Buren, his sisters, and his fiancee are arriving immediately, and perhaps I may get enlightenment during the visit. I ought to have some reward, since it is through me that the Viking is coming with the females of his kind, at this particular time.

In a moment of quixotic generosity at Enkhuisen, I promised Phyllis, as a newly adopted, if reluctant, brother, that I would make everything right for her. Afterwards, I was inclined to repent of the plan which had sprung, Minerva-like full-grown and helmeted, from my suffering brain. But it was too late then. I had to keep my word, for I was sure that, deep down in her mind, Phyllis was expecting me to perform some miracle.

Rather than disappoint her--and lower my self-esteem--I had a talk with Robert the day he was leaving. Not an intimate talk, for we aren't on those terms; but I managed to get out of him that he was parting from us before he had intended because of a letter from the fiancee.

”Young ladies are a little exacting when they are engaged, I suppose,”

said the poor fellow. ”They feel they have more right than others to a man's society.”

Then it was that I asked why he didn't bring Freule Menela, chaperoned by the twins, to Utrecht instead of waiting until we had got as far as Zeeland, which the fiancee might think too long a journey with such an object in view. He said that he would ask her.

”Don't seem too anxious,” said I, airily. ”And don't tell her you want her to be better acquainted with your cousin and step-cousin. Just remark that it will be a jolly excursion, eh? And you might add that Brederode and I--particularly I--are awfully keen on seeing her.”

”Very well, I will give that message,” said he. And I think he probably did give it, or something like it; for Nell had a telegram from him, while we were still doddering about in Friesland, asking if he might bring the ladies on a visit to Utrecht.

Now, it is ”up to me” to carry out that plan made on the impulse of an unselfish moment.

Moral: do not have unselfish moments.

XXIX

I believe that, in the dark ages, I was rather a good little boy. I used often to tell the truth, and the whole truth, even when most inconvenient to my pastors and masters. I gave pennies to the poor, unless I very much wanted them myself; I said ”Now--I--Lay--Me,” every night, and also in the morning till advised that it was inappropriate; and I sang in a boy's choir, so beautifully and with such a soulful expression in my eyes, that people used to pat my curls, and fear that I was destined to die young.

In those days, or even until a few weeks ago no one who looked at me would have believed me capable of plotting against young and innocent girls, annexing aunts on the hire system, or deluding uncles-in-law with misleading statements. Yet these things I have done, and worse; for I have kept my word to Phyllis Rivers.

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