Part 37 (1/2)

_Peter._ It is your fortune, sir, to be under the baleful influence of the stars, Georgium Sidum and Copernic.u.m. In a few days you will find your name to be _Bargrove_, and you will have to change situations with me.

_Capt. Eth._ Indeed!

_Peter._ Yes, Captain Bargrove, so it is. A wicked woman changed us in our cradles; but the secret is come out, and evidence is at hand. You must return to obscurity, whilst I emerge from mine. The stars will have it so. Your fortune's told.

_Capt. Eth._ Nonsense! the fool has been imposed upon. Now, Mr Peter, I'll tell your fortune.

_Peter._ I thank you. It has been already told to my satisfaction.

_Capt. Eth._ Nevertheless, it must be told again, although, perhaps, not to your satisfaction. Mr Peter, I can put up with folly, but never with impertinence. Mars and Saturn are about to be in strong opposition, and heavy Saturn will soon jump about like Mercury. The stars will have it so.

_Peter._ I don't comprehend that.

_Capt. Eth._ It shall be explained. You, Peter Bargrove, have been excessively insolent to me, Edward Etheridge; in consequence, I shall now take the liberty of giving you a little wholesome correction.

[_Seizes Peter by the collar._

_Capt. Mer._ Don't use violence to the natural. He offends more in ignorance than malice.

_Peter._ Thank you, sir. I see that you are a well-behaved gentleman. O sir! sir! 'tis a vile, ungrateful world. I intended to do something for that young man. (_Captain Etheridge shakes him._) Why, yes, I did. I not only intended to allow you forty pounds a year, but to do what would be more agreeable to your sister Agnes.

_Capt. Eth._ Agreeable to Miss Etheridge! What do you mean, sir?

_Peter._ Mean--why, I'm not quite sure--recollect, I don't promise; but I was thinking of marrying her. (_Captain Mertoun flies at him, and seizes him by the collar on the other side. They both shake him violently._)

_Capt. Eth._} {my sister, } } You marry { } you scoundrel!

_Capt. Mer._} {Miss Etheridge, }

_Capt. Mer._ (_letting him go_). I am sorry that I was provoked to lay hands on him. Etheridge, I'll leave his chastis.e.m.e.nt entirely to you.

_Peter._ Thank you, sir; I always thought ye were on my side. I suppose that was a mistake just now.

_Capt. Mer._ I certainly had no right to interfere between you and Captain Etheridge.

_Capt. Eth._ (_still holding Peter by the collar_). But, Mr Peter, we do not part yet. You may have made your peace with Captain Mertoun, but not with me. How dare you insult me thus?

_Peter._ I insult you! (_To Captain Mertoun._) Arn't you of my side?

_Capt. Mer._ (_laughing_). Yes; if you are knocked down, I, as your second, will help you up again, no more.

_Peter._ Well--but I'm not a nine-pin. Why not prevent him from knocking me down?

_Capt. Mer._ The stars won't permit that.

_Capt. Eth._ And the stars ordain this. (_Lifting his cane._)

_Peter._ Captain Etheridge, one word; let go my collar, behave like a reasonable man, and I now promise, upon my word of honour, that I will elevate your sister to my--nuptial bed. (_Captain Mertoun shakes his cane, and makes signs to Captain Etheridge to thrash him._)

_Capt. Eth._ I can bear no more. (_Beats Peter round the stage._)

_Peter._ Oh! oh! My stars again. Why don't you help me, sir?