Part 55 (1/2)
Bryce Snailsfoot, who probably would otherwise not have been willing to _see_ his friend the Captain, was now by the vivacity of his attack obliged to pay attention to him. He first whispered to his little foot-page, by whom, as we have already noticed, he was usually attended, ”Run to the town-council-house, jarto, and tell the provost and bailies they maun send some of their officers speedily, for here is like to be wild wark in the fair.”
So having said, and having seconded his commands by a push on the shoulder of his messenger, which sent him spinning out of the shop as fast as heels could carry him, Bryce Snailsfoot turned to his old acquaintance, and, with that amplification of words and exaggeration of manner, which in Scotland is called ”making a phrase,” he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed--”The Lord be gude to us! the worthy Captain Cleveland, that we were all sae grieved about, returned to relieve our hearts again! Wat have my cheeks been for you,” (here Bryce wiped his eyes,) ”and blithe am I now to see you restored to your sorrowing friends!”
”My sorrowing friends, you rascal!” said Cleveland; ”I will give you better cause for sorrow than ever you had on my account, if you do not tell me instantly where you stole all my clothes.”
”Stole!” e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Bryce, casting up his eyes; ”now the Powers be gude to us!--the poor gentleman has lost his reason in that weary gale of wind.”
”Why, you insolent rascal!” said Cleveland, grasping the cane which he carried, ”do you think to bamboozle me with your impudence? As you would have a whole head on your shoulders, and your bones in a whole skin, one minute longer, tell me where the devil you stole my wearing apparel?”
Bryce Snailsfoot e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed once more a repet.i.tion of the word ”Stole!
Now Heaven be gude to us!” but at the same time, conscious that the Captain was likely to be sudden in execution, cast an anxious look to the town, to see the loitering aid of the civil power advance to his rescue.
”I insist on an instant answer,” said the Captain, with upraised weapon, ”or else I will beat you to a mummy, and throw out all your frippery upon the common!”
Meanwhile, Master John Bunce, who considered the whole affair as an excellent good jest, and not the worse one that it made Cleveland very angry, seized hold of the Captain's arm, and, without any idea of ultimately preventing him from executing his threats, interfered just so much as was necessary to protract a discussion so amusing.
”Nay, let the honest man speak,” he said, ”messmate; he has as fine a cozening face as ever stood on a knavish pair of shoulders, and his are the true flourishes of eloquence, in the course of which men snip the cloth an inch too short. Now, I wish you to consider that you are both of a trade,--he measures bales by the yard, and you by the sword,--and so I will not have him chopped up till he has had a fair chase.”
”You are a fool!” said Cleveland, endeavouring to shake his friend off.--”Let me go! for, by Heaven, I will be foul of him!”
”Hold him fast,” said the pedlar, ”good dear merry gentleman, hold him fast!”
”Then say something for yourself,” said Bunce; ”use your gob-box, man; patter away, or, by my soul, I will let him loose on you!”
”He says I stole these goods,” said Bryce, who now saw himself run so close, that pleading to the charge became inevitable. ”Now, how could I steal them, when they are mine by fair and lawful purchase?”
”Purchase! you beggarly vagrant!” said Cleveland; ”from whom did you dare to buy my clothes? or who had the impudence to sell them?”
”Just that worthy professor Mrs. Swertha, the housekeeper at Jarlshof, who acted as your executor,” said the pedlar; ”and a grieved heart she had.”
”And so she was resolved to make a heavy pocket of it, I suppose,” said the Captain; ”but how did she dare to sell the things left in her charge?”
”Why, she acted all for the best, good woman!” said the pedlar, anxious to protract the discussion until the arrival of succours; ”and, if you will but hear reason, I am ready to account with you for the chest and all that it holds.”
”Speak out, then, and let us have none of thy d.a.m.nable evasions,” said Captain Cleveland; ”if you show ever so little purpose of being somewhat honest for once in thy life, I will not beat thee.”
”Why, you see, n.o.ble Captain,” said the pedlar,--and then muttered to himself, ”plague on Pate Paterson's cripple knee, they will be waiting for him, hirpling useless body!” then resumed aloud--”The country, you see, is in great perplexity,--great perplexity, indeed,--much perplexity, truly. There was your honour missing, that was loved by great and small--clean missing--nowhere to be heard of--a lost man--umquhile--dead--defunct!”
”You shall find me alive to your cost, you scoundrel!” said the irritated Captain.
”Weel, but take patience,--ye will not hear a body speak,” said the Jagger.--”Then there was the lad Mordaunt Mertoun”----
”Ha!” said the Captain, ”what of him?”
”Cannot be heard of,” said the pedlar; ”clean and clear tint,--a gone youth;--fallen, it is thought, from the craig into the sea--he was aye venturous. I have had dealings with him for furs and feathers, whilk he swapped against powder and shot, and the like; and now he has worn out from among us--clean retired--utterly vanished, like the last puff of an auld wife's tobacco pipe.”
”But what is all this to the Captain's clothes, my dear friend?” said Bunce; ”I must presently beat you myself unless you come to the point.”
”Weel, weel,--patience, patience,” said Bryce, waving his hand; ”you will get all time enough. Weel, there are two folks gane, as I said, forbye the distress at Burgh-Westra about Mistress Minna's sad ailment”----
”Bring not _her_ into your buffoonery, sirrah,” said Cleveland, in a tone of anger, not so loud, but far deeper and more concentrated than he had hitherto used; ”for, if you name her with less than reverence, I will crop the ears out of your head, and make you swallow them on the spot!”