Chapter 23 – Applause (1/2)
Chapter 23 – Applause
Part 1
April 19. Night.
This night, anyone who happened to be on the shores of Daming Lake would think it was very strange. Very, very strange.
Because they saw a ship.
***
It’s not strange to see a ship. Even seeing a hundred wouldn’t be anything strange.
The strange thing was that this ship started out in the water, then “walked” up onto the shore.
How can a ship walk?
Many people assumed that they suddenly had a problem with their brain, then rushed home and went to sleep. Some people went back to tell their wives, then got slapped across the face and accused of going out drinking and whoring and making up excuses upon returning.
But it really happened.
Some people had real guts, and incredible curiosity, and decided to stay to see what was happening.
What they saw was a boat with many, many legs.
***
A boat cannot grow its own legs; these legs, of course, belonged to people.
And the boat of course did not “walk” on its own; it was actually carried, by the power of many people.
Were these people crazy? Why would they expend the painstaking effort required to carry a ship up onto the shore?
Part 2
There is no wind under water. Where could the wind be coming from?
The small lantern in Xiao Jun’s hand had long since gone out. Everything outside was a sheet of pitch black. Nothing could be seen, especially not people.
All of a sudden, Ingot asked a incredibly remarkable question: “Can you guess who it is?” he said to Xiao Jun. “Is it Gao Tianjue? Or is it Frogboy?”
Xiao Jun had no way to answer the question, and in fact didn’t even know what Ingot was talking about.
Ingot explained: “If we were still in the water, then this part of the ship would still be under the surface. Instead, we feel wind.”
“Don’t tell me the ship isn’t in the water any more?”
“It doesn’t seem so. But, a ship can’t walk onto the land.”
“You think someone moved the ship onto the shore?”
Ingot nodded. “So that’s why I ask. Did Gao Tianjue have people move it up, or was it Frogboy?”
“Why are you so sure it’s one of those two?”
“To move a ship this big onto the shore would require at least seven or eight people with extremely powerful martial arts. Other than those two, who has the power to order that many people around?”
It was truly an incredible thing. In the eyes of most people, only someone crazy, or at least a little bit weird, would do something like this.
“Why would they do something like this?”
“Because they figured out that we were hiding in the hull cabin.” Ingot sighed. “You’ve probably been able to tell that Gao Tianjue and Frogboy are a little bit stupid compared to me, but they are still smarter than most people.”
No one could refute the fact that Gao Tianjue and Frogboy were rare talents in Jianghu.
“They want to capture the three of us to get information,” said Ingot. “And they realized that since we were in the hull cabin, we would try to punch a hole in the side and escape into the water.”
“Under water, people are more useless than fish. What happens there is difficult to control. Under water, their kung fu would not be as good.”
Xiao Jun also knew this.
The previous Chief of the Beggar Sect had lived on Lake Tai, on a ship, and Xiao Jun had spent a lot of time with him. [1]
His kung fu under water was much worse than his kung fu out of the water.
Everyone in Jianghu knew this truth, so few people would be willing to fight in water.
“But it’s different on land,” said Ingot. “They know that Guo Mie is wounded. To them, we two are nothing. Getting the ship from the water onto the land would not be difficult, and they wouldn’t even have to expend their own energy to do it.”
He sighed again. “So, regardless of whether it’s Gao Tianjue or Frogboy, both would do the same thing to ensure things go their way. I would do the same thing.”
***
Finally, there was sound. The sound of applause.
Ingot smiled and bowed, in much the same way a famous actor would bow after performing a masterpiece in front of a devoted audience.
And then, in a very cheerful voice, he said, “It’s not an easy thing to achieve praise from Mr. Tian. If there were alcohol here, I would immediately drink to him three times.”
The applause stopped, and the person outside said, “How did you know it was me?”
Ingot’s response was very simple: “Because Gao Tianjue can’t clap.”
—How can a person with only one hand clap?
***
The person outside laughed. Heartily.
It was Frogboy’s laughter. And yet, he did not enter. Everything outside was black, and no one appeared. [2]
Ingot couldn’t help but ask, “Mr. Tian, are you going to come in? Or shall we go out?”
“Can you guess whether or not I’ll let you come out?”
“You won’t,” said Ingot with a sigh. “I’m just hoping that when you come in, you can bring something with you.”
“What would you like me to bring?”
“Can you guess?”
“How about some alcohol?” said Frogboy. “And some appetizers.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?” Frogboy sounded shocked. “Why not?”
“Because you’re too stingy. If you bring alcohol, you’ll only bring a little bit, and one of the things I can’t stand in life is only having a little bit of alcohol, a little bit of food, and a little bit of people.”
“What does ‘a little bit of people’ mean?”
“If you came in, but didn’t come in all the way, that’s ‘a little bit.’ For example, if your hand came in, along with your foot, but the rest of you stayed outside, do you think I could stand that?”
Frogboy laughed. “I can guarantee that I will come in all the way, and I also can guarantee that I spent all my wealth on alcohol I can bring.”
“As of now, how much is all your wealth worth? Usually, it’s not worth that much.”
“Now is different,” said Frogboy. “I guarantee that as soon as you see it, you’ll jump with fright.”
***
Lantern light. Brilliant lantern light.
One, two, three, four, five lanterns….
A whole string of lanterns, shining brightly.
That was the first thing Ingot saw.
And then he saw the women carrying the lanterns.
Beautiful women, wearing embroidered silk gowns, their hair piled high on top of their heads.
Ingot’s eyes grew wide.
Each and every one of the women carrying the lanterns was bright and beautiful.
Their bodies curving sensuously, the eight beautiful women walked into the ship one by one.
They formed two lines, four women in each line. They stood still.
A loud, clear voice called out from outside: “Twenty-year old Nu’er Hong!”
Four more beautiful women, dressed like the others, came in carrying a leopard skin stretched between two bamboo poles. On the leopard skin was a jug of alocohol.
They walked in, smiling at Ingot, and then put down the jug.
The loud clear voice again called out: “Twenty-year old Guizhou Maotai!”
The four women brought in the Maotai and placed it down in front of Ingot.
Then came Lianhua Baijiu, Chu Ye Qing, Persian Red wine…
Then what entered was not a beautiful woman, but a huge, burly bare-chested man. He quickly measured the hold in the side of the boat, and then chopped out his hands and made the hole into a square, cutting the wood as easily as if it were soft tofu.
The man quickly measured the hole again, and then stood in the middle of the hull cabin with arms outstretched.
This made Ingot very curious, and he was about to ask what he was doing, when suddenly a whistling sound could be heard, and something flew in from outside.
The burly man’s horse stance was very stable, and the whistling object landed directly into his hands.
It was a pitch-black, glittering wood table.
He put the table down and then left.
The loud, clear voice again called out: “Pearl rice balls!”
Ingot furrowed his brow and said, “Do pearl rice balls count as a famous dish?”
He was laughing, but then suddenly stopped, his face covered with shock as he looked at the table.
There in the middle of the table was a basket of freshly made pearl rice balls, steaming.
Xiao Jun looked at them, appearing to be even more shocked that Ingot. Everyone looked shocked.
This was because on top of every single “pearl” rice ball was inlaid a real pearl at least an inch in diameter.
Round, glittering pearls!
Ingot nearly jumped up.
“By now, you should believe me,” said Frogboy, still outside.
He laughed, pleased with himself.
Ingot sighed. “I never imagined that Frogboy would finally grow up!”
“Frogboy has always been grown up,” said Frogboy cheerfully. “Have you ever seen a rooster’s crest? It’s quite beautiful.” [3]
“You’re a rooster who can lay eggs,” exclaimed Ingot. “You handle matters beautifully, and know how to magically create money.”
“Correct! Absolutely correct!”
Part 3
Frogboy actually didn’t seem to have changed too much. He looked as lazy as ever, wanting only to sit and not walk.
But now, he wasn’t sitting in the wheelchair with wooden wheels, nor did he push himself along.
He sat on a gold brocaded couch, carried by four strong, beautiful girls. Each and every girl had long, beautiful legs.
Ingot instantly recognized one of pairs of long, beautiful legs.
Of course he hadn’t forgotten this girl. Not that he was sentimental, but neither was he ungrateful.
This was the girl who had recklessly saved him, and she, of course, had not forgotten him.
But when she looked at him, it was as if she didn’t recognize him.
So Ingot pretended that he had never seen her before. Regardless of her reasons for wandering Jianghu as a performer, and regardless of her reasons for pretending she didn’t know him, he had no desire to expose her.
***
The hull cabin was no longer empty, and Frogboy was not the same Frogboy as before.
Ingot looked at him for a very long moment, then asked, “Didn’t you just tell me that what I said was absolutely correct?”
“Yes, I believe so.”
“Actually, it’s not correct. Completely incorrect. In fact, what I said just now is a bunch of farts.”
“Farts?” Frogboy laughed. “You can fart out of your mouth?”
“Not only can I fart, I can fart very stinky farts.”
“Oh.”
“Roosters can’t lay eggs. Neither roosters nor chicks, neither can lay eggs. And you can’t magically produce money.”
“Oh!”
“Old Master Tian is famous for keeping you in line tightly. As for money, he won’t just give it out to you. Even if he gave you a little bit, he definitely would not allow you to spend it so extravagantly.”
Frogboy sighed. “Actually, my monthly allowance isn’t much more than the old lady who sells flowers outside the front door of Great Three Yuan.”
“Then how could you possibly have become so luxurious all of a sudden?”
“Why don’t you guess?”
“If I can’t guess, you’ll definitely view me as an idiot,” said Ingot. “But if I do guess, I bet you won’t admit it.”
“That’s not certain,” said Frogboy. “If you really can guess, I won’t necessarily refuse to admit it.”
“You really want me to say it out loud?”
Frogboy sighed. “I’m afraid it won’t do for you to not say.”
Ingot laughed. “You’re a very intelligent person. Soon you might even be as smart as me. I should drink to you.” Then, like an attentive host, he asked Frogboy, “What would you like to drink? The twenty-year old Nu’er Hong? Please, drink anything you like, there’s no need for courtesy.”
Frogboy laughed. “Are you the host, or am I?”
Ingot’s response was as cynical as his usual responses, provoking shock amongst others.
“Neither of us,” he said. “You are not the host, and neither am I.”
“Then who do you believe to be the host?”
“It’s General Li,” he said in complete seriousness. “Three Fearsome Laughs General Li.”
Frogboy stared at him for a while, then said, “Why is General Li the host?”
Ingot didn’t respond, but instead slowly said, “General Li comes without a shadow, and leaves without a footprint. No one in Jianghu has ever seen his face, and no one knows his whereabouts. But this month, suddenly, everyone knew where he was.” He asked Frogboy: “Can you figure out the truth?”
Frogboy didn’t respond. Instead, he retorted, “Don’t tell me you’ve already figured it out?”
“Actually, anyone could figure out the truth,” he said. “Even people ten times stupider than me could figure it out.” Sounding very earnest, he said, “The only way for so many people in Jianghu to know about General Li’s whereabouts would be if someone intentionally leaked the information.”
This truth, anyone should be able to figure out, but in actuality, not many people could figure it out completely.
That was because there was something else important that no one knew.
—Who had leaked the information? And how could that person know of General Li’s whereabouts? Why would that person tell others such important information?
Ingot explained the answer to the last question: “He intentionally leaked the information to attract General Li’s enemies to Jinan. Chaotic battling would break out, and heaven and earth would be darkened with death. Even if they all killed each other, it wouldn’t be a big problem.”
“It makes sense,” said Frogboy with a smile. “What you say makes some sense. But,” he asked Ingot, “how could this person know that General Li was in Jinan? How come no one else knew, but he did?”
“Actually, he didn’t need to know.”