Chapter 8 – A Sword Which You Cannot Drop [1] (2/2)

“I approve of you not wanting to die so easily. If you’re gonna die, at least you can take out some of those endless enemies first.”

Wu Tao laughed heartily and slapped Ingot’s shoulder. “Great! I like it.”

“Like what?”

“You.” Wu Tao tipped a bowl of wine to Ingot, then drank it down. “In a few years, you’ll be a great man. I drink to you!”

Ingot didn’t drink. Instead, he asked, “You mean I’m not a great man right now?”

“You are.” Wu Tao downed another bowl. “You already are.”

He put the bowl down, then picked up a pair of chopsticks and started tapping out a tune onto the bowl. He sang, “A cup of alcohol you can’t finish drinking, a sad song you can’t finish singing. A treasured sword you can’t drop, a tall building you can’t climb. A hero’s blood which can never stop flowing, your enemy’s heads which can never all be lopped off.”

***

The bleak, solemn song suddenly stopped, and Wu Tao shouted: “Go!”

As he shouted, the chopsticks in his hands suddenly flew forward, and with a “ding” sound, shot into the door.

The restaurant hadn’t opened for the day, so the door wasn’t open. The chopsticks penetrated the door, then shot out the other side.

Two miserable cries rang out from outside, and then people started shouting: “It’s him, it’s him!”

“If you know it’s me, then why don’t you come in?”

Nobody came in. No one dared to.

Wu Tao stood, grabbing Ingot’s arm. “Since they won’t come in, why don’t we go out.”

The door was closed.

However, it seemed Wu Tao didn’t seem to notice that. He strode forward, and then a “crash” sound rang out. Pieces of the door flew out in every direction.

The street outside was quiet; passersby had already fled, seeing as the little restaurant was completely surrounded.

Two moaning men, each with a chopstick embedded in his shoulder, were being dragged away by their compatriots.

In Wu Tao’s hand, two ordinary chopsticks could shoot through a wooden door and stab all the way to the bone. Each chopstick had stabbed into exactly the same position on each man, and both were the same distance away from the heart.

They weren’t dead, but that had nothing to do with them.

They lived because Wu Tao had no interest in taking their lives.

Ingot could see that clearly.

What he didn’t understand was how a person could shoot two chopsticks from behind a three inch thick door, and hit exactly the same spot on both people.

—There was no way he could see through the door. That was completely impossible.

—Could it be that he could sense their position by listening to the sound of their breathing?

That wasn’t possible, and yet, it wasn’t impossible.

There are some things that are slightly possible, and if possible, perhaps only possible for one person.

***

As for that point, it might not be possible for most people to understand. And yet other than Ingot, there were others who could see it.

Amidst the crowd of people surrounding the restaurant, someone suddenly started clapping.

“Listening to the breathing to determine the position when you can’t see. Piercing a floating leaf with the power to penetrate walls. I never imagined such kung fu actually existed in the world. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would call myself a rotten son of a b*tch before believing.”

The man spoke with a very conclusive tone.

The first half of his speech was quite elegant, extremely elegant. Only wizened sect leaders of the previous generation would speak like that.

But the last half was not elegant at all, especially the last line. That part sounded like something a ruffian would say.

This person was very unique.

He wore a voluminous cotton robe. Of the thirteen buttons on the front, only about five were clasped. Sticking out of the bottom were a pair of dilapidated flax shoes.

But clasped around his waist was a belt that only a young prince or a nouveau riche poppy would wear, a gold belt inlayed with a dozen or so pearls and gems.

He didn’t look handsome at all, but the more you looked at them, the less horrible he looked.

Tall and strong, he wasn’t young, but when he smiled, he looked like a child.

***

Ingot thought this person looked very interesting. It seemed Wu Tao did, too.

—Annoying people always make people feel annoyed, and interesting people always make people feel interested.

This truth is as simple as the the saying “chicken eggs are not duck eggs.” Some people enjoy doing things which annoy others.

As he strode out from the crowd, he laughed. With a smile, he looked at Wu Tao and said, “I’ve seen a lot of famous experts of the martial world. But to be able to see your excellency’s kung fu today, my eyes have truly been opened.” He deliberately let out a sigh. “But I feel a bit of regret.”

“Oh?”

“I regret that I still don’t know how to address your excellency,” he said. “Should I call you Mr. Wu? Or Big Boss Sun?” He laughed again. “Or perhaps the most correct is to call you General Li.”

“What should I call you?” retorted Wu Tao.

“I’m not important,” said the man with a laugh. “Even if you call me a rotten son of a b*tch, it wouldn’t matter.”

Ingot laughed, showing his two dimples. “If you’re a son of a b*tch, what does that make your father? A b*tch?”

People in the crowd began to cry out in anger, but the man held them back. Smiling, he said, “You calling me a son of a b*tch, doesn’t mean I actually am a son of a b*tch. And sometimes a person you don’t call a son of b*tch, is actually a super b*tch. These are two completely different situations.”

“That makes sense,” said Ingot. “So are you, or are you not a son of a b*tch?”

“Do I look like one?”

“Not really.” Ingot squinted. “At the most, you look like a scoundrel.”

The man laughed heartily. He seemed quite happy, not the least bit angry.

“You don’t look very much like an ingot,” he said. “Well, maybe a little. Sort of like the ones I used to make out of flour when I was a kid. Except they always ended up getting moldy.”

Ingot laughed. He didn’t seem to be the least bit angry either.

“A moldy flour ingot and a medium-sized, mid-level scoundrel. It seems we’re both the same: good-for-nothing.”

“You’re good for something, but I’m not a thing at all.” He winked. “Because I’m a person.”

Wu Tao, who had been staring at them this whole time, suddenly asked. “Are you surnamed Tian?”

“Yes,” admitted the man. He truly was surnamed Tian.

“Then that makes you Tian Yonghua’s son, Frogboy.”

“That’s me.”

“Why wouldn’t you just say so?”

“I still don’t know who you are,” said Wu Tao. “So why should I let you know who I am?”

“You know enough already. As do I.”

“What is it that I know?”

“That I am the person you’re looking for.”

“And what is it that you know?”

“That I am the person you’re looking for!” His eyes flashed. “I know that hidden in your belt is a flexible Burmese sword, capable of splitting hairs [4]. And hidden in your garment are thirteen deadly flying flags, the same concealed weapon used by Tian Yonghua in the past.”

Frogboy sighed. With a bitter laugh, he said, “Is there anything in the world you don’t know?”

“There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m the person you were looking for, and you found me. You have blade in your belt and hidden weapons in your garment. You can attack at any time. Why don’t you?”

“Because I’m not worthy.”

Some people would die before speaking such words, but Frogboy said them with a chuckle. He continued, “Even my father said I’m not worthy to be your opponent. How could I dare to make a move?”

“Then why are you here?”

“I just wanted to see what kind of person you are,” he said. “Your true opponent went somewhere else. Otherwise he would be here.”

“Who is that?”

“Xiao Jun,” said Frogboy. “He has a heart of stone, and attacks like lightning. He’s the Chamber Lord of the Beggar Sect’s newly founded Torture Chamber.”

Wu Tao laughed coldly. “You think he’s worthy to be my opponent?”

“He himself said he’s not.” Frogboy sighed. “But he still wants to give it a try.”

“And why isn’t he here now?”

“He went looking for you, and has been at it for some time.”

“Where did he go to look for me?”

“He calculated that you would eventually go to the gambling hall to track down the people who paid off Qiu Budao. He’s most likely there right now, waiting for you.”

“And why didn’t you go there, too?”

Frogboy sighed again. “Because I’m kind of stupid. I can’t figure out things the way he does. So I just sat foolishly waiting, blissfully ignorant. In the end, he didn’t find you, but I did, by just waiting.”

Wu Tao laughed, and it sounded heartbreaking. Who could not feel dread upon hearing it?

“So are we going or not?” asked Ingot.

“Going where?”

“To the gambling hall. I’ve never seen what a real gambling hall looks like.”

Wu Tao’s eyes gleamed. “You will soon,” he said coolly.

Ingot looked really excited, as if he had no idea how many countless enemies with the intent to kill lie in wait there. It seemed he had already forgotten how frightening Xiao Jun was.

He just wanted to get there as quickly as possible, and do some f*cking gambling!

Frogboy seemed excited as well.

“Okay, I’ll take you there,” he said. “And if you don’t have anything to gamble with, I can lend you something.”

“You have money?”

“Of course,” he responded. “Tons.”

He pulled out a big bag, but unfortunately it only contained an assortment of copper coins and a few silvers.

“That’s your tons of money? It doesn’t seem like much.” Ingot seemed a bit disappointed.

“This is all the money I have in the world! And you’re saying it’s not much?”

Ingot shook his head with a bitter laugh. “It seems you, a rich person, and me, a beggar, aren’t too different in the end.”

Frogboy, his face solemn, his tone respectful, said, “A person should not have too much wealth. If you get money with your left hand, you should spend it with your right hand. Then you can be carefree, and extremely happy.”

“That makes sense,” said Ingot.

“If you have too much wealth, and don’t spend it all, then if you lose it, you will be upset. You will constantly be worried about it being robbed or stolen. You’ll fear being swindled or cheated. You’ll worry about people coming to borrow money from you all the time. Plus, you can’t take it with you when you die. That is true unhappiness.”

“Makes sense.”

“Being able to spend money happily, that is true wealth. And so, I am rich.”

“You definitely are.”

“Therefore, my riches are relatively few. I don’t worry about people robbing or cheating me, and I don’t worry about people coming to borrow from me. But, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll lend it to you.”

It is usually a joyful matter to have someone offer to lend you money. Who would have imagined that Ingot would suddenly become cautious. “Do you need collateral?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“What about interest?”

“No.”

Magnanimous offers like this are not common. Ingot asked another question: “Can I not return it?”

Frogboy laughed. His followup question was even more astounding than Ingot’s original question. “Can I ask you to not return it?”

“You can!” responded Ingot, ecstatic. He grabbed Frogboy’s bag.

People willing to borrow in this fashion are not common in the world, and people willing to lend money in this way are even rarer.

But both of them seemed quite happy.

“If I were Big Boss Sun, I definitely wouldn’t be as happy as this,” said Frogboy. “He definitely wouldn’t be willing to hand over all of his wealth to you, nor would you be willing to ask him to.”

Ingot let out a loud laugh. “Fortunately, you aren’t Big Boss Sun. You’re just a medium-sized, mid-level scoundrel.”

“Absolutely correct.”

***

But Ingot had made a mistake.

There was no need for him to borrow money for gambling, because after arriving at the gambling hall, they found that money was not being gambled.

The people there wanted to gamble with lives!

**

[1] I’m changing the name of the chapter from Undroppable Sword to this new translation.

[2] The scholar tree … is a type of tree … -___-

[3] Night soil is human excrement, which they would collect to use for fertilizer

[4] This is a type of sword that has no hilt, which would make it easy to conceal in a belt.