Part 5 (1/2)
”Were your partners mortal?”
”Yes. One was a Diviner, but he was mortal all right. He died last year in a plane crash.”
”I'm sorry to hear that.”
”So was I. He was a nice guy. Not a great Diviner, but a nice guy. But what do my boyfriends being mortal have to do with me drifting away during the fun time?”
He shot me a silver-eyed look that was completely unreadable. ”You have immortal blood. Perhaps you would have better luck with a man who shared that trait.”
My jaw dropped for a moment before I had enough wits about me to snap it back. ”Are you offering yourself as a potential partner?”
There was a pause. ”In the interests of scientific understanding, yes, I would be willing to undertake that role.”
He noticed the surprised look on my face.
”I don't normally proposition women in this manner, but I will admit to being physically attracted to you, and believe that you feel likewise.”
”Oh, really.” We were deep in the heart of the country now, heading into a rural area with patches of forest and wilderness, so there were no streetlights. The only light illuminating Paen's face was that from the dashboard, but it was enough for me to eye his profile. It was just as handsome as the rest of his face.His jaw tightened. ”I see. I have misread your interest in me, then. I apologize for-”
”No!” I interrupted, not wanting him to misunderstand. ”That 'oh, really?' wasn't challenging your statement about me being attracted to you-I am-but more just... well, annoyed.”
”Annoyed?” A slight frown wrinkled his forehead. ”Are you always annoyed when someone tells you he finds you attractive?”
”Of course not, but you have to admit that someone telling you they want to go to bed with you purely in the interests of science sounds a bit condescending. I mean, sheesh, talk about martyring yourself...”
His lips thinned. ”I didn't intend for you to take my offer that way. I am a man. I find you an attractive woman, and since you apparently reciprocate that feeling, you are not presently dating anyone-” He paused and gave me a quick glance.
”Nope, not dating,” I said.
”-and as you appear to be of legal age-”
”Thirty-four in September.”
”-then I a.s.sumed I could express my interest without you taking offense.”
”Oh, I'm not offended,” I said, smiling. He was so cute when he was in a snit. ”Just surprised.”
He said nothing.
”Tempting as your offer is, I hasten to point out that you are immortal, and I just did do the astral thing, so the answer to what I would do with you is pretty evident.”
”Not necessarily. I was feeding, not attempting to arouse you. It would be different if I were to focus my attention on bringing you pleasure.”
I digested that morsel for a moment and admitted that he could well be right. ”We just met, Paen. Yes, the physical thing is there, but we haven't known each other for more than a couple of hours at most. I've never been one for casual relations.h.i.+ps. In fact, I was madly in love with all three of my boyfriends before we ever got physical.”
”Perhaps that's the trouble,” he said, still not looking at me.
”What, having an emotional commitment with my boyfriends before having s.e.x with them?”
”Yes. s.e.x is a bodily function no different from any other bodily function. You need air, you breathe. You need s.e.xual pleasure, you have s.e.x. It's that simple.”
I gawked. ”You are really screwed up, aren't you? We're talking serious commitment issues here, the kind that you see on Montel.”
”You don't have to be committed to a hamburger to gain sustenance from it, do you?”
”No, of course not, but-”
”Why should something so simple as s.e.x be any different?” he asked, his eyes all but lighting up the inside of the car. ”I have no doubts that were you willing. I would be able to provide you with s.e.xual pleasure without any messy emotional issues becoming involved.”
” 'Messy emotional issues,'” I repeated, aghast. ”Is that what being in love is to you? Messy?””Yes. Love for a s.e.xual partner serves no real purpose. It is unnecessary.”
”Thus speaks a man who has never been in love,” I said. ”Are you sure you're a Dark One and not a Vulcan or something?”
”On the contrary, I love my parents and brothers,” he answered, ignoring my Vulcan quip.
”That's splitting hairs, and you know it. Love in a relations.h.i.+p is a wonderful thing, Paen. s.e.x can be nice on its own-or so I've been told; I've never been present to feel it for myself-but s.e.x without love is empty. Shallow. Meaningless.”
He snorted. ”Why do women have to sugarcoat everything?”
”How's this for sugarcoating-what you're talking about is the difference between f.u.c.king and lovemaking.”
”You say that like there's something wrong with f.u.c.king.”
”Of course there's nothing wrong with it. Even people deeply in love can indulge in it. But one is pure physical pleasure, while the other has a deeper meaning. Lovemaking is more than just s.e.x-the pleasure received from it comes not just from s.e.xual stimulation, but from sharing something profound with a person who is more than just a casual acquaintance. Lovemaking is just that-making something, creating a bond, forming a loving relations.h.i.+p.”
He shot me an annoyed look. ”You are using a woman's typical arguments. Until you've tried it my way, you can't make a statement like that.”
”The same could be said for you making generalizations against love. Boy, you are so lucky I'm not in love with you. You'd have some serious shaping up to do.”
”That is a moot point. You are not in love with me, nor I you, but I would be quite willing to show you the pleasure I could give you s.e.xually.”
”You're still saying you want to screw me?”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. ”I wasn't going to put it quite so crudely, but yes. I want you in a s.e.xual sense.”
”Why?”
”Why?” he asked, confused.
”Yes, why do you want me? That is, what about me is attractive to you?”
The annoyance that flared in his eyes had me smiling to myself. ”You intrigue me. I find you stimulating, both physically and mentally. And... er... you smell nice.”
”I smell nice?” I tipped my head to the side to sniff myself.
His eyes flickered my way for a moment. ”Yes. You smell like a woman, untainted by harsh chemical scents. You smell like a sun-warmed field of wild-flowers.”