Part 13 (1/2)

Emma began again with an effort at self-control. ”It's a long way to Jackson County, quite across Missouri. It's all Elder Rigdon's doing, his going just now.”

Susannah found something that she could say here in agreement. ”It may be wrong, but I--I don't like Elder Rigdon.”

”Well, of course the way he believed, and all his congregation, when the word was first preached to them makes Joseph think that he must be full of grace. Ye know, to see Joseph when he's quite by himself, ye'd be surprised to see how desponding he is by nature. He's that desponding he was real surprised, real right down taken by surprise, when he heard that Mr. Rigdon, so clever a minister as he was, and of the Campbellites too, had been baptized and a hundred and twenty-seven of his congregation with him. (That was first off, and ye know how many he's brought in since.) He could hardly believe it; he says, 'It seems as if I hadn't any faith at all.' And that night he couldn't sleep, but just walked up and down, and two revelations came to him before morning, and one of them addressed to Rigdon, so Joseph knows of course he's got the right thing in him. Then his education, too; he's got a sight more education than Cowdery. Joseph thinks a deal of education.”

”I don't like him.” Susannah sat upright; her hands were busy with the baby upon her knee.

”Well, I dunno.” Emma spoke meditatively. ”It said in one of Joseph's revelations that we should dwell together in love.”

Susannah laughed; it was a bright, trilling laugh, and filled the large, low room with its sudden music. It almost seemed like a light in the growing darkness.

”I guess I'll light up,” said Emma, ”it'll be more cheerful.”

Susannah was still playing with the baby, and Emma looked at her critically. ”Joseph thinks a great deal of you, Mrs. Halsey; he's told ye to teach school?”

”I have got more time than most of the women, and my husband can afford to hire a school-room.”

”'Tain't that,” said Emma decidedly, ”it's the same thing as makes ye say that you don't talk to any of the other folks except in a civil way.

Ye're a bit above all the rest of us ladies in the way ye hold yerself and the way ye speak. I guess it comes of yer father's folks having been somebody, and then being so clever at books--ye see, Joseph sees all that; there ain't anything that he doesn't see.”

Susannah perceived that there was something behind this. ”You're not vexed, are you?”

Emma continued with more hesitation in her tones. ”No, I'm not vexed.

Why should I be? And besides I like you and Mr. Halsey better than any of the folks, although I couldn't let it be known.”

”There's something that you are thinking about.”

Emma sighed deeply; her mien faltered; she subsided again into her seat by the wall and into tears. ”It's only that I feel that Joseph's getting to be such a great man. Why, there's more than a thousand folks now looking to him all the time to be told what to do, and thousands more drawing in, and Joseph beginning to wear the kid gloves whenever he goes on the street.”

There was an interval of sighs and suppressed sobs.

”Aren't you glad? I thought you were glad about it.”

”I declare papa and mamma were just wild when I ran away and married Joseph, because they said that he was a low fellow, and poor, and not good enough for me, and now--and now--I begin to feel that I'm not good enough for him.”

Susannah went over and sat beside her, chiding indignantly. ”You know very well that n.o.body could be the same help to him that you are, and you know very well that there's n.o.body in the world that he thinks so much of as you.” She did not say all she thought. She considered Emma to be Smith's superior, but that opinion would have given acute pain.

The young church worked upon Smith's principles of thrift, temperance, and co-operation, and Kirtland rapidly a.s.sumed the proportions of a town. Susannah became the mistress of the children's school. Smith was a good economist; although he helped the needy, nothing that his converts could pay for was given to them for nothing. Hence it was that Susannah's private purse was well filled with tuition fees.

She had already in mind what she would do with this money; she would write to the booksellers in Boston who fulfilled Ephraim's orders, and obtain from them some of the books whose names she remembered to have seen on his shelves. She knew nothing of their contents, she hardly knew whether she wanted them more for the sake of their contents or for their familiar appearance, but she thought that if she did not understand them when reading, she could write to Ephraim and ask for an explanation. She could not think of any other excuse for writing to him again. It had taken her a good many months to think of this one.

Halsey, who had learned to drop the Quaker forms of speech when speaking to others, still, moved by the remembrances of his early home, used them in speech to Susannah. He inquired somewhat anxiously concerning the proposed purchase.

”Dost think that they will contain what the prophet has called 'sound learning,' and that there will be nothing in them to distract thy soul?”

”How can I tell when I do not know what is in them?” She did not speak with impatience.

”Art wise, dear heart, in this longing?” he asked wistfully.