Part 46 (1/2)

Judith knew she was probably late and Iain would surely be irritated, but she really wasn't worried about his temper. On the way up the steep hill she thought about that amazing fact. Iain was such a big, fierce-looking warrior, and his gigantic size alone should have turned her hair gray by now. She remembered feeling a little nervous the very first time she had seen him crossing the drawbridge to her uncle Tekel's home. The feeling had quickly vanished, however, and she had never, ever felt trapped or helpless when she was with him. Iain's manner was as gruff as a bear's, yet each time he touched her, he was very gentle.

Uncle Tekel frightened her. The realization popped into her mind all at once. She didn't understand why she was afraid of him. Her uncle was an invalid who had to be carried about on a litter from place to place. As long as she stayed out of striking distance, he couldn't hurt her. Yet whenever she had been forced to sit beside him, she had always been afraid.

His cruel words still had the power to hurt her, she admitted. She wished she was stronger and not so vulnerable. Then he couldn't hurt her. If she could learn how to protect her feelings, if she could learn to separate her mind from her heart, she wouldn't care what her uncle Tekel said to her. Nor would she care if she ever saw Iain again... if she were stronger.

Oh, what did it matter? She was going to have to go home, and Iain was certainly going to marry someone else. He would probably be very happy, too, as long as he could order his wife around for the rest of his life.

She let out a groan of disgust. Thinking about Iain kissing any other woman made her stomach hurt.

G.o.d help her, she was acting like a woman in love. She shook her head. She was far too intelligent to allow her heart to be crushed. She wasn't that ignorant, was she?

She burst into tears. She was racked with heart-wrenching sobs in a matter of seconds. She couldn't make herself stop. She blamed Frances Catherine for her shameful condition because she had prodded and prodded until Judith had finally been forced to confront the truth.

Judith moved off the path as a precaution against someone coming along and seeing her distress, and even hid behind a fat pine.

”Good Lord, Judith, what happened?”

Patrick's voice made her groan. She took a step back.

He followed her. ”Did you injure yourself?” he asked, his concern obvious.

She shook her head. ”You weren't supposed to see me,” she whispered. She wiped her face dry with the backs of her hands and took several deep breaths to calm herself.

”I didn't see you,” Patrick explained. ”I heard you.”

”I'm sorry,” she whispered.

”What are you sorry for?”

”For being loud,” she answered. ”I only wanted a few minutes of privacy, but that isn't possible here, is it?”

She sounded downright pitiful. Patrick wanted to comfort her. She was his wife's dearest friend, and he felt it was his duty to try to make her feel better. He put his arm around her shoulders and gently turned her back to the path.

”Tell me what's wrong, Judith. No matter how terrible this problem seems to be, I'm certain I can correct it for you.”

It was an extremely arrogant thing to say, but then, he was Iain's brother, after all, and some of his arrogance would surely dribble down to his sibling, she supposed. He was trying to be good-hearted, and for that reason alone she wasn't irritated.

”You cannot correct this,” she told him. ”But I thank you for offering.”

”You can't know what I can do until you explain.”

”All right,” she agreed. ”I've only just realized how ignorant I am. Can you correct that?”

His smile was gentle. ”You aren't ignorant, Judith.”

”Oh yes I am,” she cried out. ”I should have protected myself.” She didn't go on.

”Judith?”

”Never mind. I don't wish to discuss this.”