Part 16 (1/2)
”Hang the boy; it is a plot between you,” I cried, forgetting self-command in my rising wrath.
”Wrong again; he knew nothing of my purpose, never guessed my love till to-day.”
”To-day! he has been here already!” I exclaimed, ”and you have snared him in spite of my sacrifice. Good! I am right in one thing, the richer prize tempts the mercenary enchantress.”
”Still deceived; I have refused him, and no earthly power can change my purpose,” she answered, almost solemnly.
”Refused him! and why?” I gasped, feeling more bewildered every moment.
”Because I am married, and-dying.”
As the last dread word dropped from her lips, I felt my heart stand still, and I could only mutter hoa.r.s.ely: ”No! no! it is impossible!”
”It is true; look here and believe it.”
With a sudden gesture she swept aside the curtain, gathered back her cl.u.s.tered hair, dropped the shrouding mantle, and turned her face full to the glare of noonday light.
I did believe, for in the wasted figure, no longer disguised with a woman's skill, the pallid face, haggard eyes, and hollow temples, I saw that mysterious something which foreshadows death. It shocked me horribly, and I covered up my eyes without a word, suffering the sharpest pang I had ever known. Through the silence, clear and calm as an accusing angel's, came her voice, saying, slowly: ”Judge not, lest ye be judged. Let me tell you the truth, that you may see how much you have wronged me. You think me a Frenchwoman, and you believe me to be under five-and-twenty. I am English, and thirty-seven to-morrow.”
”Englis.h.!.+ thirty-seven!” I e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed in a tone of utter incredulity.
”I come of a race whom time touches lightly, and till the last five years of my life, sorrow, pain, and care have been strangers to me,” she said, in pure English, and with a faint smile on her pale lips. ”I am of good family, but misfortune overtook us, and at seventeen I was left an orphan, poor, and nearly friendless. Before trouble could touch me, Florimond married and took me away to a luxurious home in Normandy. He was much older than myself, but he has been fond as a father, as faithful, tender and devoted as a lover all these years. I married him from grat.i.tude, not love, yet I have been happy and heart-free till I met Arthur.”
Her voice faltered there, and she pressed her hands against her bosom, as if to stifle the heavy sigh that broke from her.
”You love him; you will break the tie that binds you, and marry him?” I said, bitterly, forgetting in my jealous pain that she had refused him.
”Never! See how little you know my true character,” she answered, with a touch of indignation in the voice that now was full of a pathetic weariness. ”For years my husband cherished me as the apple of his eye; then, through the treachery of others, came ruin, sickness, and a fate worse than death. My poor Florimond is an imbecile, helpless as a child. All faces are strange to him but mine, all voices empty sounds but mine, and all the world a blank except when I am with him. Can I rob him of this one delight-he who left no wish of mine ungratified, who devoted his life to me, and even in this sad eclipse clings to the one love that has escaped the wreck? No, I cannot forget the debt I owe him. I am grateful, and in spite of all temptations, I remain his faithful wife till death.”
How beautiful she was as she said that! Never in her most brilliant hour, on stage or in salon, had she shone so fair or impressed me with her power as she did now. That was art, this nature. I admired the actress, I adored the woman, and feeling all the wrong I had done her, felt my eyes dim with the first tears they had known for years. She did not see my honest grief; her gaze went beyond me, as if some invisible presence comforted and strengthened her. With every moment that went by I seemed pa.s.sing further and further from her, as if she dropped me out of her world henceforth, and knew me no more.
”Now you divine why I became an actress, hid my name, my grief, and for his sake smiled, sung, and feigned both youth and gayety, that I might keep him from want. I had lived so long in France that I was half a Frenchwoman; I had played often, and with success, in my own pretty theatre at Villeroy. I was unknown in Paris, for we seldom came hither, and when left alone with Florimond to care for, I decided to try my fortune on the stage. Beginning humbly, I have worked my way up till I dared to play in Paris. Knowing that youth, beauty and talent attract most when surrounded by luxury, gayety and freedom, I hid my cares, my needs, and made my debut as one unfettered, rich, and successful. The bait took; I am flattered, fted, loaded with gifts, lavishly paid, and, for a time, the queen of my small realm. Few guess the heavy heart I bear, or dream that a mortal malady is eating my life away. But I am resigned; for if I live three months and am able to play on, I shall leave Florimond secure against want, and that is now my only desire.”
”Is there no hope, no help for you?” I said, imploringly, finding it impossible to submit to the sad decree which she received so bravely.
”None. I have tried all that skill can do, and tried in vain. It is too late, and the end approaches fast. I do not suffer much, but daily feel less strength, less spirit, and less interest in the world about me. Do not look at me with such despair; it is not hard to die,” she answered, softly.
”But for one so beautiful, so beloved, to die alone is terrible,” I murmured, brokenly.
”Not alone, thank heaven; one Friend remains, tender and true, faithful to the end.”
A blissful smile broke over her face as she stretched her arms towards the place her eye had often sought during that interview. If any further punishment was needed, I received it when I saw Arthur gather the frail creature close to his honest heart, reading his reward in the tender, trusting face that turned so gladly from me to him.
It was no place for me, and murmuring some feeble farewell, I crept away, heart-struck and humbled, feeling like one banished from Paradise; for despite the shadow of sorrow, pain and death, love made a heaven for those I left behind.
I quitted Paris the next day, and four months later Brooke returned to England, bringing me the ebony rosary I knew so well, a parting gift from La Jeune, with her pardon and adieu, for Arthur left her and her poor Florimond quiet under the sod at Pre la Chaise.
A Pair of Eyes; or, Modern Magic
Editor's Note:Most of Alcott's heroines show strength by maintaining their virtue and d her haunted sleep. It fretted me almost beyond endurance to be delayed in my work so near its completion, for months of thought and labor had been bestowed upon it; the few who had seen it in its imperfect state had elated me with commendation, whose critical sincerity I knew the worth of; and the many not admitted were impatient for a sight of that which others praised, and to which the memory of former successes lent an interest beyond mere curiosity. All was done, and well done, except the eyes; the dimly lighted chamber, the listening attendants, the ghostly figure with wan face framed in hair, that streamed shadowy and long against white draperies, and whiter arms, whose gesture told that the parted lips were uttering that mournful cry- ”Here's the smell of blood still: All the perfumes of Arabia will not Sweeten this little hand-”
The eyes alone baffled me, and for want of these my work waited, and my last success was yet unwon.
I was in a curious mood that night, weary yet restless, eager yet impotent to seize the object of my search, and full of haunting images that would not stay to be reproduced. My friend was absorbed in the play, which no longer possessed any charm for me, and leaning back in my seat I fell into a listless reverie, still harping on the one idea of my life; for impetuous and resolute in all things, I had given myself body and soul to the profession I had chosen and followed through many vicissitudes for fifteen years. Art was wife, child, friend, food and fire to me; the pursuit of fame as a reward for my long labor was the object for which I lived, the hope which gave me courage to press on over every obstacle, sacrifice and suffering, for the word ”defeat” was not in my vocabulary. Sitting thus, alone, though in a crowd, I slowly became aware of a disturbing influence whose power invaded my momentary isolation, and soon took shape in the uncomfortable conviction that some one was looking at me. Every one has felt this, and at another time I should have cared little for it, but just then I was laboring under a sense of injury, for of all the myriad eyes about me, none would give me the expression I longed for; and unreasonable as it was, the thought that I was watched annoyed me like a silent insult. I sent a searching look through the boxes on either hand, swept the remoter groups with a powerful gla.s.s, and scanned the sea of heads below, but met no answering glance; all faces were turned stageward, all minds seemed intent upon the tragic scenes enacting there.
Failing to discover any visible cause for my fancy, I tried to amuse myself with the play, but having seen it many times and being in an ill-humor with the heroine of the hour, my thoughts soon wandered, and though still apparently an interested auditor, I heard nothing, saw nothing, for the instant my mind became abstracted the same uncanny sensation returned.
A vague consciousness that some stronger nature was covertly exerting its power over my own; I smiled as this whim first suggested itself, but it rapidly grew upon me, and a curious feeling of impotent resistance took possession of me, for I was indignant, without knowing why, and longed to rebel against-I knew not what. Again I looked far and wide, met several inquiring glances from near neighbors, but none that answered my demand by shy betrayal of especial interest or malicious pleasure. Baffled, yet not satisfied, I turned to myself, thinking to find the cause of my disgust there, but did not succeed. I seldom drank wine, had not worked intently that day, and except the picture had no anxiety to hara.s.s me; yet without any physical or mental cause that I could discover, every nerve seemed jangled out of tune, my temples beat, my breath came short, and the air seemed feverishly close, though I had not perceived it until then. I did not understand this mood and with an impatient gesture took the playbill from my friend's knee, gathered it into my hand and fanned myself like a petulant woman, I suspect, for Louis turned and surveyed me with surprise as he asked: ”What is it, Max; you seem annoyed?”
”I am, but absurd as it is, I don't know why, except a foolish fancy that some one whom I do not see is looking at me and wishes me to look at him.”
Louis laughed-”Of course there is, aren't you used to it yet? And are you so modest as not to know that many eyes take stolen glances at the rising artist, whose ghost and goblins make their hair stand on end so charmingly? I had the mortification to discover some time ago that, young and comely as I take the liberty of thinking myself, the upturned lorgnettes are not levelled at me, but at the stern-faced, blackbearded gentleman beside me, for he looks particularly moody and interesting tonight.”
”Bah! I just wish I could inspire some of those starers with grat.i.tude enough to set them walking in their sleep for my benefit and their own future glory. Your suggestion has proved a dead failure, the woman there cannot give me what I want, the picture will never get done, and the whole affair will go to the deuce for want of a pair of eyes.”
I rose to go as I spoke, and there they were behind me!
What sort of expression my face a.s.sumed I cannot tell, for I forgot time and place, and might have committed some absurdity if Louis had not pulled me down with a look that made me aware that I was staring with an utter disregard of common courtesy.
”Who are those people? Do you know them?” I demanded in a vehement whisper.
”Yes, but put down that gla.s.s and sit still or I'll call an usher to put you out,” he answered, scandalized at my energetic demonstrations.
”Good! then introduce me-now at once-Come on,” and I rose again, to be again arrested.
”Are you possessed tonight? You have visited so many fever-wards and madhouses in your search that you've unsettled your own wits, Max. What whim has got into your brain now? And why do you want to know those people in such haste?”
”Your suggestion has not proved failure, a woman can give me what I want, the picture will be finished, and nothing will go to the deuce, for I've found the eyes-now be obliging and help me to secure them.”
Louis stared at me as if he seriously began to think me a little mad, but restrained the explosive remark that rose to his lips and answered hastily, as several persons looked round as if our whispering annoyed them.
”I'll take you in there after the play if you must go, so for heaven's sake behave like a gentleman till then, and let me enjoy myself in peace.”
I nodded composedly, he returned to his tragedy, and shading my eyes with my hand, I took a critical survey, feeling more and more a.s.sured that my long search was at last ended. Three persons occupied the box, a well-dressed elderly lady dozing behind her fan, a lad leaning over the front absorbed in the play, and a young lady looking straight before her with the aspect I had waited for with such impatience. This figure I scrutinized with the eye of an artist which took in every accessory of outline, ornament and hue.
Framed in darkest hair, rose a face delicately cut, but cold and colorless as that of any statue in the vestibule without. The lips were slightly parted with the long slow breaths that came and went, the forehead was femininely broad and low, the brows straight and black, and underneath them the mysterious eyes fixed on vacancy, full of that weird regard so hard to counterfeit, so impossible to describe; for though absent, it was not expressionless, and through its steadfast s.h.i.+ne a troubled meaning wandered, as if soul and body could not be utterly divorced by any effort of the will. She seemed unconscious of the scene about her, for the fixture of her glance never changed, and nothing about her stirred but the jewel on her bosom, whose changeful glitter seemed to vary as it rose and fell. Emboldened by this apparent absorption, I prolonged my scrutiny and scanned this countenance as I had never done a woman's face before. During this examination I had forgotten myself in her, feeling only a strong desire to draw nearer and dive deeper into those two dark wells that seemed so tranquil yet so fathomless, and in the act of trying to fix shape, color and expression in my memory, I lost them all; for a storm of applause broke the attentive hush as the curtain fell, and like one startled from sleep a flash of intelligence lit up the eyes, then a white hand was pa.s.sed across them, and long downcast lashes hid them from my sight.
Louis stood up, gave himself a comprehensive survey, and walked out, saying, with a nod, ”Now, Max, put on your gloves, shake the hair out of your eyes, a.s.sume your best ”deportment,' and come and take an observation which may immortalize your name.”
Knocking over a chair in my haste, I followed close upon his heels, as he tapped at the next door; the lad opened it, bowed to my conductor, glanced at me and strolled away, while we pa.s.sed in. The elderly lady was awake, now, and received us graciously; the younger was leaning on her hand, the plumy fan held between her and the glare of the great chandelier as she watched the moving throng below.
”Agatha, here is Mr. Yorke and a friend whom he wishes to present to you,” said the old lady, with a shade of deference in her manner which betrayed the companion, not the friend.
Agatha turned, gave Louis her hand, with a slow smile dawning on her lip, and looked up at me as if the fact of my advent had no particular interest for her, and my appearance promised no great pleasure.
”Miss Eure, my friend Max Erdmann yearned to be made happy by a five minutes audience, and I ventured to bring him without sending an avant courier to prepare the way. Am I forgiven?” with which half daring, half apologetic introduction, Louis turned to the chaperone and began to rattle.