Part 8 (1/2)
”He that putteth his hands to the plow, and then looketh back, is not fit for the Kingdom of Heaven;” ”If ye were of the world, then the world would love its own, but because I have chosen you out of the world, the world persecuteth you;” ”Ye, and all who live G.o.dly in Christ Jesus, shall suffer persecution, while evil men and seducers wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.”
The Son of G.o.d Himself, when He entered upon the duties of His mission, was led into the wilderness, where He was tempted forty days and nights, and when He was hungry and asked for bread He was told, substantially, that if His mission was of G.o.d that G.o.d would feed Him, that if hungry He could turn the stones to bread and eat.
I remembered that similar sayings had been thrown into our teeth.
These thoughts pa.s.sed through my frame like electricity - or to use the language of one of the old prophets, it was like fire shut up in my bones; I felt renewed and refreshed from head to foot, and determined to trust in the Arm that could not be broken; to conquer and subdue the pa.s.sions of my nature, and by the help of G.o.d to try and bring them in subjection to the will of the Spirit, and not of the flesh, which is carnal, sensual, and devilish. I determined that there should be no lack on my part.
Daylight came at last, and we renewed our journey. I put a double guard over those evil pa.s.sions that were sown thickly in my sinful nature. The pa.s.sion most dreaded by me was the l.u.s.t of the flesh; that I knew to be the worst enemy to my salvation, and I determined to master it, I have walked along in silence for hours, with my heart lifted up to G.o.d in prayer, pleading with Him to give me power over my pa.s.sions and sinful desires, that I might conquer and drive from my mind those besetting sins that were continually warring with the Spirit, which, if cherished or suffered to remain, would wound and grieve the Spirit and drive it away. It is written, ”My Spirit will not dwell in an unholy temple.” Jesus said to His followers that their bodies were the temples of the Living G.o.d; that if they who had charge of those temples, or bodies, allowed them to become unholy, He would destroy that body; while to those who guarded their temples, and kept them pure and holy, He and His Father would come and take up their abode and dwell with them as a constant companion forever, even unto the end, guiding them in all truth and showing them things past, present, and to come. From day to day I kept my mind in a constant strain upon this subject. Notwithstanding, the tempter was ever on the alert, and contested every inch of ground with me.
Often, while I was in the most solemn reflections, the tempter would place before me some lovely female, possessing all the allurements of her s.e.x, to draw my mind from the contemplation of holy things. For a moment humanity would claim the victory; but quick as thought I would banish the vision from my mind and plead with G.o.d for strength and power to resist the temptations that were besetting me and enable me to cast aside the love of sinful pleasures. The words of the Apostle Paul were appropriate for me at that and in future time, when he declared that he died daily to crucify the deeds of the flesh. So it was with me. I was convinced that I could not serve two masters, G.o.d and Mammon.
When I tried to please the one I was certain to displease the other. I found that I must give myself up wholly to G.o.d and His ministry and conduct myself as a man of G.o.d, if I would be worthy of the name of a messenger of salvation. I must have the Spirit of G.o.d accompany my words and carry conviction to the honest in heart. In this way I grew in grace from day to day, and I have never seen the hour that I regretted taking up my cross and giving up all other things to follow and obey Christ, my Redeemer and Friend. I do most sincerely regret that I ever suffered myself to be captivated by the wiles of the devil, contrary to my better judgment.
Brigham teaches that the will and acts of the people must all be dictated by him, and delights in hearing the apostles and elders declare to the people that he, Brigham, is G.o.d. He claims that the people are answerable to him as to their G.o.d, that they must obey his every beck and call. It matters not what he commands or requests the people to do, it is their duty to hear and obey. To disobey the will of Brigham is a sin against the Holy Ghost, and an unpardonable sin to be wiped out only by blood atonement. I must now resume my narrative, but I will hereafter speak of Brigham more at length.
We left the Fasting Hotel, as I called it, and traveled to Hamilton, Ohio, then a neat little town. As we arrived in the center of the town I felt impressed to call at a restaurant, kept by a foreigner. It was then noon. This was the first house we had called at since morning.
As we entered the proprietor requested us to unstrap our valises and sit down and rest, saying we looked very tired. He asked where we were from, and where we were going. We answered all his questions. He then offered us refreshments; we informed him that we had no money, and had eaten nothing for three days. He said it made no difference to him; that if we had no money we were more welcome than if we had plenty of it. We ate a hearty meal, and he gave us a drink of cider. He then filled our knapsacks with buns, cheese, sausages, and other things, after which he bid us G.o.dspeed.
We traveled on with hearts full of grat.i.tude to G.o.d, the bountiful Giver Who had opened the heart of the stranger that had just supplied our wants, and we felt grateful to and blessed the man for his generous actions. While pa.s.sing through Cincinnati we were offered refreshments by a lady that kept an inn. We crossed the Ohio River at Cincinnati, and stopped over night at a hotel on the Kentucky side of the river. We then traveled through Kentucky and into Overton and Jackson counties, Tennessee. I now bear testimony, though many years have pa.s.sed since then, that from the moment I renewed my covenant to deny myself to all unrighteousness and live the life of a man devoted to G.o.d's work on earth, I have never felt that I was alone, or without a Friend powerful to aid, direct, and s.h.i.+eld me at all times and during all troubles.
While in Tennessee I stopped with my friend Levi Stewart at the houses of his relatives in Overton and Jackson counties, and preached several times. My friend Stewart was blessed with a large b.u.mp of self-esteem. He imagined that he could convert all of his relatives at once; that all he had to do was to present the gospel, and they would gladly embrace it. He appeared to forget that a prophet was not without honor, save in his own country and among his own kinfolk.
Brother Stewart, though I was his superior in the Priesthood, if not in experience and ability, looked upon me as a cipher, fit for nothing. The rough treatment and slights that I received from him were more than humiliating to a man of fine feelings and a spirit such as I possessed. I said nothing to him, but I poured out my soul in secret prayer to my Heavenly Father, asking Him to open the door for my deliverance, so that my proud spirit, which was bound down, might soar in a free element.
One Sunday we attended a Baptist meeting. We sat facing the preacher, but at the far side of the house. My mind was absorbed in meditating upon my future labors. Gradually I lost consciousness of my surroundings, and my whole being seemed in another locality. I was in a trance, and saw future events. What I then saw was to me a reality, and I will describe it as such. I traveled in a strange land and among a people that I had never seen. I was kindly received by the people, and all my wants were supplied without my having to ask for charity. I traveled on, going over a mountainous country. I crossed a clear, handsome river, and was kindly received by the family of the owner of the ferry at that river. I stayed with this family for some days. I then recrossed the river and called at a house, where I asked for a drink of water, which was given me. I held quite a conversation with two young women. They informed me that there was no minister in the neighborhood; also that their father had gone in pursuit of a Mormon preacher who had pa.s.sed that way a few days before. A few days pa.s.sed, and I saw myself in the midst of a congregation, to whom I was preaching. I also baptized a large number and organized a flouris.h.i.+ng branch of the Church, and was in charge of that people. I was very popular with, and almost wors.h.i.+ped by, my congregation. I saw all this, and much more, when my vision closed. My mind gradually changed back, and I found myself sitting in the meetinghouse, where I had been just forty minutes before.
This was an open-day vision, in which the curtains of heaven were raised and held aside from futurity to allow me to look into the things which were to come. A feeling of heavenly rapture filled my being, so much so that, like the apostle who was caught up into the third heaven, I did not know whether I was in the body or out of it during my vision. I saw things that it would be unlawful for men to utter. While the vision lasted my soul was lighted up as if illuminated with the candle of G.o.d. When the vision closed the hallowed influence gradually withdrew, yet leaving sufficient of its glorious effect upon my soul to justify me in feeling and knowing that I was then chosen of G.o.d as a servant in His earthly kingdom; and I was also made to know, by my sensations, that my vision was real, and would soon be verified in every particular.
At the close of the church services we returned to our lodgings.
Brother Stewart asked me if I was sick. I said:
”No, I am not sick, but I feel serious; yet I am comfortable.”
That evening, after I had given some time to secret prayer, I retired to rest. Very soon afterwards the vision returned, though somewhat varied. I was in the midst of a strange people, to whom I was propounding the gospel. They received it with honest hearts, and looked upon me as a messenger of salvation. I visited from house to house, surrounded by friends and kindred spirits with whom I had once been familiar in another state of existence.
I was in the spirit, and communing with the host of spirits that surrounded me; they encouraged me to return to the body and continue to act the part that my Master had a.s.signed me. No person, except those who have entered by pureness of heart into constant communion with G.o.d, can ever enter into the joyous host with whom I then, and in after life, held intercourse.
When I came to myself in the morning I determined to travel until the end of time to find the people and country that G.o.d had shown me in my vision; and I made my arrangements to start forth again, knowing that G.o.d now went with me. I started off after having a talk with Brother Stewart. He tried to dissuade me from going, saying I had little experience, not sufficient to warrant my traveling alone; that we had better remain together where we were for a season, for we had a home there, and could study and inform ourselves more thoroughly before starting out among strangers. I told him that in and of my own strength I was but a weak vessel; but my trust was in G.o.d, and unless He would bless my labors I could not accomplish much. That I was G.o.d's servant, engaged in His work, therefore I looked to Him for strength and grace sufficient to sustain me in my day of trial. That I trusted in the arm of G.o.d alone, and not in one of flesh. I started off in a southwesterly course, over the c.u.mberland Mountains, and went about seventy miles through a heavily timbered country. I found many species of wild fruit in abundance along the way.
Springs of pure, cold water were quite common. I pa.s.sed many little farms and orchards of cultivated fruit, such as cherries, peaches, pears, and apples. As I proceeded the country became familiar to me, so much so that I soon knew I was on the very ground I had seen in my vision in the Baptist church. I saw the place where I had held my first meeting, and my joy was great to behold with my eyes what I had seen through a gla.s.s darkly. I turned aside from the road, and beneath the spreading branches of the forest trees I lifted my heart with grat.i.tude to G.o.d for what He had done for me. I then went to the house where I had seen the mult.i.tude a.s.sembled when I was preaching.
There I saw the two young women that I had beheld in my vision.
They appeared to me as though I had known them from infancy, they so perfectly accorded with those whom I had seen while G.o.d permitted me to peer into futurity. Yes, I saw the women, but their father was gone from home. I asked for a drink of water, and it was handed to me, as I had seen it done in my vision. I asked them if there had ever been any Mormon preachers in that country. They said there had not been any there. The young women were modest and genteel in behavior. I pa.s.sed on to the c.u.mberland River, was set over the river by the ferryman, and lodged in his house.
So far all was as G.o.d had shown me; but I was still at the outer edge of my familiar scenery. I stayed about a week with the ferryman. His name was Vanleven, a relative of my friend and banker in Illinois. I made myself useful while there. I attended the ferry and did such work as I could see needed attending to. I also read and preached Mormon doctrines to the family.
On the fifth day after reaching the ferry I saw five men approaching. I instantly recognized one of them as the man I had seen in my vision - the man that took me to his house to preach.
My heart leaped for joy, for G.o.d had sent him in answer to the prayers I had offered up, asking that the man should be sent for me. I crossed the men over and back again, and although I talked considerably to the man about what was uppermost in my mind, he said nothing about my going home with him. I was much disappointed.
I retired for secret prayer, and asked G.o.d, in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, to aid me, and to send the man whom I had seen in my vision back for me. Before I left my knees I had evidence that my prayer was answered.
The next morning at daylight I informed my friends that I must depart in search of my field of labor. They asked me to stay until breakfast, but I refused. One of the negroes put me over the river, and directed me how to cross the mountains on the trail that was much shorter than the wagon road. I stopped in a little cove and ate a number of fine, ripe cherries. I then went on until I reached what to me was enchanted ground. I met the two sisters at the gate, and asked them if their father was at home.