Part 23 (2/2)
”No, it's not like that. He's a good guy. I don't know. There's definitely an attraction there.”
”Are you thinking about ditching investor guy for him?”
I shook my head. ”I'm not with Blake anymore, but no, I'm not ready to be with anyone else. I like being friends with James, but I also feel like I'm not being fair to him because I know he wants more. Does that make me a b.i.t.c.h?”
She shrugged. ”He's a big boy. If you consider him a friend, I'm pretty sure he picked up on the fact that you're probably not ready for another relations.h.i.+p. If he wants to push the issue and risk being rejected, that's on him.”
I sighed. ”Maybe you're right. I just don't want this to blow up in my face one day.”
”There's always that chance when you let relations.h.i.+ps blossom at work.”
”I know. I get it, but I feel like it's too late for that now, you know? I can't just tell him that we can't be friends anymore without causing a lot of tension.”
”Sounds like you've already got enough tension.”
I groaned. ”I know. Jesus, what a mess.”
”Well don't break his heart too badly because when you drop him, I'm coming in with a vengeance.”
I laughed. ”Why wait? Do me a favor and deflect some of this off of me.”
”Believe it or not, Erica, I consider you a friend, and I'm not about to voluntarily engage in a love triangle with you.”
”That should be easy because I'm not in love with James. I don't expect I ever will be.”
”What if he loves you though?”
I shook my head. ”That's impossible.” We'd only known each other a few weeks. Plus, he worked for me. Then again, Blake and I had known each other only a few weeks before I was already head over heels for him. But James and I weren't sleeping together. Nothing was nearly as intense as my relations.h.i.+p with Blake in the beginning. I'd fought so hard to stay away, only to find myself back in his arms, happier than I'd ever been. Our happiness had been too brief.
”What are you thinking about?”
I frowned. ”Why?”
”Because you just got all dreamy. I have to know, who were you thinking about just then?”
”I was thinking about Blake actually.”
She smiled. ”Well, there you go.”
I stared back at Simone. She was like a wise Sufi in her own right.
I rubbed out my frown. ”I wish it were that simple. I really do.”
”Well, don't fret, okay? You'll figure things out. I don't know what to tell you about Blake, but when it comes to James, be honest with him. That's all you can really do.”
”I know. You're right.”
”Let me get you something to eat before you waste away on me.”
”Sure.” I grabbed a menu and hoped something would catch my eye.
James popped in at the end of the day, his smile a welcome sight.
”Hey, I'm hitting the gym after work tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?”
I laughed a little. ”Are you trying to tell me something?”
His eyes got wide for a second. ”Definitely not. You have an amazing body. But I thought you might want to blow off some steam. That usually helps me when I'm stressed out.”
My face heated at the compliment. He needed to stop saying things like that. I should have told him, but I didn't.
”Are you stressed out?”
”I don't know. Maybe.” He s.h.i.+fted his weight a little, as if the question made him uncomfortable.
I tried to ignore the little voice saying that was probably my fault.
”What do you say?” He abruptly interrupted my little voice.
”You're determined to cure me of my malaise, aren't you?”
He grinned. ”Yes. I like happy Erica. I also like drunk Erica. We should go out for drinks again sometime.”
My thoughts went back to that night at the bar, when he couldn't keep his hands or his eyes off of me. ”Let's stick with the gym.”
”Cool.”
I hadn't been to the gym in a while. A little part of me wanted to bow out when the time came the next day. The fatigue alone was enough of a deterrent, but James was right. I needed an outlet. Maybe I'd wear myself out enough to get some decent sleep for a change. We decided on a place down the street where he'd just picked up a members.h.i.+p.
James showed me around and went to hit the weights. I found an empty treadmill and set what I thought was an aggressive program. I wanted to sweat and burn, see if I had enough mental strength to physically run myself into the ground. Maybe I could crush out the last of this pain. I put in my ear buds and pushed myself into a rhythm, almost eager for the challenge ahead.
I vaguely noticed someone step onto the machine next to me. I stayed focused on the music and my pace until my headphone was yanked out. I nearly lost my footing. Blake stood next to me. My breath caught at the sight of him. I thought we'd have more time apart before I had to face him again.
”What are you doing here?”
”I work out here. Wanna race?”
He smiled, reminding me of the playful, teasing lover I used to wake up to every morning. He also reminded me of all the o.r.g.a.s.ms I wasn't having since we'd broken up, except for that one delightful slip up.
”That hardly seems fair.”
”Maybe not. I'm a little out of shape though. My endurance isn't what it usually is.”
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