Part 22 (2/2)

”Why would you be sorry?”

I should just get this over with. Lay it out for him so we could stop dancing around it. I couldn't handle hurting two people. Somehow I had to make him understand that we could only be friends. What if he didn't want my friends.h.i.+p though?

I looked at him.

”You were right. I've been a mess, and right now work is the only thing keeping me from losing it completely. I'm trying to figure some things out, and focusing on work is the only way I know how to do that right now.”

”You know, it's okay to feel messed up sometimes. Doesn't mean you have to push everyone away though-especially the people who care about you.”

I sighed. ”I know.”

James wasn't the only one trying to get through to me. Marie had given me s.p.a.ce, but I knew she was concerned. I still hadn't talked to Alli, and the growing distance between us weighed on me. Still, I couldn't bring myself to reach out to her beyond my vague texts. She was too close to Blake, and right now I needed as much distance as possible from him to keep him safe.

”This wasn't so bad, right?”

I gave him a small smile. ”This was fun. I do feel better.”

I wanted to say more, but against the advice he'd just given me, I decided that keeping him at a safe emotional distance was probably just as well. A part of me wanted to tell him that I felt more, to acknowledge the intense albeit brief moment we'd shared in the water, but to explain that it was a major breach in my non-existent company policies and procedures. But if I told him all that, I'd have to tell him how I was still hopelessly in love with my ex, who was probably tethering Sophia to a bedpost and f.u.c.king her senseless right now. Then I'd have to admit to myself that I'd probably never be over Blake, no matter how hard I tried.

Since we were in the neighborhood, I asked James to take a short detour on our way back into town. He drove us down the quiet street that I recognized by way of its new homes and meticulously manicured lawns. When he pulled up in front of Trevor's house, I was shocked to find a real estate sign stuck into the overgrown lawn that marked the property as sold. Somehow the place looked even more abandoned than it had before.

The cautious relief I'd felt before disappeared. This was a bad sign, literally. The only line I had to Trevor was this place. Blake probably hadn't dug anything valid up with the investment company in Texas since he'd never mentioned it. Then again, I hadn't given him a chance. I was too busy breaking up with him, and now, avoiding him.

”I'm guessing this place wasn't for sale when you came by before.”

I shook my head. ”No. This isn't good.”

”Maybe he gave up hacking and started a new life somewhere else. Took up a new career or something.”

”And put himself on the map for the first time ever? I seriously doubt it, but you get points for positive thinking.”

”Seriously, there's no point in worrying about it. Be happy that he's giving us a break, and let's hope he's lost interest.”

I sighed. ”Let's hope.”

He revved the engine, and we were off again.

We drove down Comm Ave and pulled up in front of the apartment. I slid off and returned the helmet to James. I was mostly dry, but I still felt awkward standing there. Especially after what had happened, I wasn't sure what to say.

”Thanks for the break.”

”Sure thing. We should take breaks more often.” He gave me a shy grin.

I didn't want to discredit his effort to cheer me up, but the attraction between us was real, as much as I wanted to downplay it. I wasn't sure if this was all a side effect of the breakup or something more. All I knew was I didn't need any more complications.

”I'll see you tomorrow, okay?” I gave him a little wave and headed up to my apartment.

I made my way to the bedroom and stripped off my clothes and my bra, still damp from the ocean. I rummaged through my drawers looking for a suitable replacement.

”Erica.”

I screamed and spun around to find Blake in the doorway, his hands on either side of the doorframe.

”What are you doing here?” In the s.p.a.ce of a few seconds my heart was racing. I was on display, clad only in my underwear now, as he stalked closer.

”Who was that?” His voice was calm and low.

”James.”

His hand went to my shoulder, gently brus.h.i.+ng the sand off of my skin. My body warmed at the contact. I secretly wished his hands would roam, but they slid away. He crossed his arms and stared.

”Frolicking on the beach with James. That doesn't sound so innocent.”

It wasn't, but I'd never tell him that.

”Are you f.u.c.king him yet?”

I rolled my eyes. I was growing tired of his insistence that I was sleeping with James. ”Don't you think if I were f.u.c.king him, I'd be doing it right now?”

”Not unless you want me to bludgeon him to death. If so, by all means invite him up next time.”

He came closer. The air crackled between us. The heat of his body rolled off in waves with the s.e.xual tension that was about to drive me straight out of my mind. All the progress I'd made trying to work him out of my system had just disintegrated. I ached to fist my hands in his hair, crush my body to his.

”What about Sophia?” My voice was low. I almost hoped he hadn't heard me so I wouldn't have to hear his answer.

”What about her?”

My jaw clenched. ”Are you f.u.c.king her?” I wasn't supposed to care, but I had to know.

”Would it matter?” His expression was impa.s.sive, cold even.

A wicked jealousy blazed through me. I narrowed my eyes. I had no right to be angry, but I was. She was a vile b.i.t.c.h, and I wanted nothing more than to scratch her f.u.c.king eyes out every time I saw her.

That she could give Blake what he needed in bed only added fuel to the fire. I turned around and tried to ignore the pull of Blake's body behind me. I fished out some jeans and a V-neck T-s.h.i.+rt that was tight and always gave him a good view of the girls. He couldn't keep his hands off me when I wore it. My brain was short-circuiting like crazy. I should make this quick and leave before I did something stupid.

I opened my underwear drawer and grabbed a dry pair. Before I closed the drawer I paused. I spun back around. ”Have you been in here?”

”Missing something?” He grinned.

”You stole my vibrator. Who does that?”

”I told you before I was the only one who was going to make you come. By the sound of it, that hasn't changed.”

I was speechless.

He closed the distance between us, nudging my legs apart with his thigh. He placed his hand over my throat and drew a broad path of fire over my breast and down my hip.

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