Part 19 (2/2)

”How are you holding up?”

”I'm fine,” I lied. I was grateful that he cared, but I worried that wasn't all he felt.

”I hope you know that you can talk to me. I'm right here.”

”Thanks, James.”

”Excuse me.”

My gaze darted to where Blake now stood at the edge of my office s.p.a.ce. He glanced to me briefly before fixing his gaze on James. James met the look with a steely one of his own that I'd never seen before. Holy s.h.i.+t, this wasn't good.

No one moved.

Blake looked back to me, barely able to mask the irritation in his voice. ”Can I speak with you, privately?”

I opened my mouth to speak but James spoke first.

”We're in a meeting.” He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms, as if he meant to stay.

”I wasn't talking to you.” Blake wasn't masking his irritation anymore. He took a threatening step, prompting James to rise too. They were a few feet apart staring each other down. Blake had some height on James, but James was thicker, stockier by nature. They could be evenly matched, but I'd seen Blake in action before. The way he'd lashed out when protecting me was a wild card that James couldn't begin to fathom.

I rose quickly and grabbed Blake's arm, urging him away from this standoff with James. ”Blake, let's go talk outside.” He stood still, his muscles taut and unmoving. Finally he relaxed enough to turn and leave the office with me. I led him down the hallway, thankful that we were far enough from the office to have some privacy, even if our words became heated.

”What did you want to talk about?” I asked him tensely.

”Why don't we start with him? What went down this weekend? Did you f.u.c.k him?”

I gasped at the accusation, my anger now matching his own. ”No! I told you he's a friend. He's just being protective.”

”What makes him think that you need protecting?”

”You seem to think I do pretty regularly, so maybe it's an epidemic. Maybe I'm the kind of girl that screams damsel in distress. I don't f.u.c.king know, but right now I don't need you coming in here and causing problems. This is where I work. If you want to talk, we can do that, but not here. You can't come here like this.”

”I'm not allowed to come here now?”

I hesitated, briefly considering whether that was an appropriate concession to make. Seeing him under any circ.u.mstances was risky though. ”I don't think it's a good idea, Blake.”

”Let me get this straight. You're breaking up with me, for no reason other than you need s.p.a.ce to figure out your life. And now you're cutting me out of the business that I've invested four million dollars into, and you're expecting me to just back off? No questions asked?”

I leaned back into the wall, the exhaustion taking its hold on me again. ”You're not here on business. If you were, we'd be having a very different conversation.”

”You're right. I'm not.”

”Then you should go.”

I turned my head, avoiding his eyes. He lifted his hand slowly and turned me back, forcing me to meet his gaze, intense and full of determination.

”You're running away from something. Maybe me, but guess what? I'm not letting you this time. You need time to figure things out? Fine, but we're figuring them out together. Let's go back home and talk this out.”

Panic welled up. I'd never survive one-on-one with him like that, telling half-truths until he was somehow convinced. He'd keep on this way, stopping in on me, tracking me down until I gave him an answer that made sense. The more we hashed this out, the weaker my arguments would feel and sound. He needed to believe me, once and for all because if Daniel saw us together... I couldn't go there.

”I don't need time to figure out what I already know.” I brushed his hand away. ”There's nothing you can say to change how I feel. I'm going to pay you back as soon as I can, but I can't have you involved with the business right now. I'll talk to Sid about taking over the lease as soon as possible, but you'll get your rent either way.” I made myself believe it and met his gaze. I couldn't let him doubt it, risking everything because I couldn't end this right.

He bridged the distance between us, catching my face in his palm with renewed determination. My breath caught, and I fought every instinct not to kiss him. His lips were so close. His ragged breathing matched my own.

”You love me.” He clenched his teeth as he uttered the words, as if they burned him.

I went to war with the magnetic force between us even as I felt myself slipping, losing control. You have to protect him, I reminded myself. His life depended on it.

”If you love me, you'll let me go.” My heart broke at Daniel's words used against the man I loved.

Tracing the hard line of his jaw, I felt it soften under my touch. I pressed up on to my toes to kiss him gently. One last kiss. He angled to deepen the kiss, but I pushed him back before he could.

”Goodbye, Blake.”

I was all the way down the hall when he finally spoke.

”Don't come back, Erica.”

His words leveled me. My insides twisted at the possibility of losing any chance for our future. I turned to face him, scared of what I'd see in his eyes. His hands fisted at his sides and his jaw clenched tight, the muscles bulging.

”If you end this now, don't bother coming back.”

With trembling hands, I opened the door to the office and disappeared inside, closing the door on everything that was most precious to me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

The rest of the week pa.s.sed in a blur. I barely left the office. My once welcomed focus on work had degraded into a compulsion to keep moving forward despite my lack of sleep. Even when I was sleeping, the visions that haunted me weren't conducive to real rest.

Somehow, the fatigue and the pressure I put on myself to keep working masked a lot of the pain. The giant gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be didn't seem so devastating when all I pretended to care about were numbers and lists and driving the business forward with breakneck speed. Everyone at work was keeping up. At this rate, maybe I wouldn't need Daniel's money after all. I'd wanted to pay Blake back as quickly as possible in any case.

I was in the middle of a meeting with Risa when Daniel called. I let her know I needed to take this and waited to pick up until she had gone.

”h.e.l.lo.”

”Erica, I'm downstairs. I'd like to speak with you.” His voice was cold and commanding. ”Come out the back.”

I hung up and let Risa know I was leaving for an early lunch. I pushed the back door open and found Connor at the wheel of the Lincoln idling in the alleyway. Daniel was leaning against the hood smoking a cigarette, wearing his usual dark suit and white collared s.h.i.+rt. The picture of the politician, I thought, as my mind raced through the reasons for his being here. Marie, Blake... I couldn't speak for the fear that had gripped me then.

”You hungry?”

I shook my head, more out of confusion than to really answer him. ”What's wrong?”

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