Part 20 (1/2)

Here Fatho, ”Sir,” said he, ”if you will step into the next rooether with the method upon which I have proceeded, that we may deliberate upon the next step that is to be taken” Instead of co with this proposal, he seated himself in a chair, with his back to our adventurer, and, while he exaave him to understand, that he should not consult with him about the matter

Fathom, not in the least disconcerted at this uncivil ansalked round his antagonist, and, placing hi him with such supercilious contempt ”I am resolved,” said the other, ”never to consult with any physician who has not taken his degrees at either of the English universities” ”Upon the supposition,” replied our adventurer, ”that no person can be properly educated for the profession at any other school” ”You are in the right,” answered Doctor Looby; ”that is one of many reasons I have to decline the consultation”

”How far you are in the right,” retorted Fathoe, after I have observed, that, in your English universities, there is no opportunity of studying the art; no, not so iven on the subject Nor is there one physician of note in this kingdoreatest part of his ners”

Looby, incensed at this asseveration, which he was not prepared to refute, exclaimed, in a most infuriate accent, ”Who are you?--whence came you?--where was you bred? You are one of those, I believe, who graduate themselves, and commence doctors, the Lord kno; an interloper, ithout licence or authority, coentleular reat pains and expense to qualify themselves for the profession For my own part, my education cost me fifteen hundred pounds”

”Never was money laid out to less purpose,” said Ferdinand; ”for it does not appear that you have learned so much as the basis of medical requireht to distinguish the deportment of every physician You have even debased the noblest and ed the study of mankind, which cannot be tooto limit the practice of it to a set of narrow-minded, illiberal wretches, who, like the lowest handicraftses of a corporation Had you doubted ht to have satisfied yourself in a manner consistent with decency and candour; but your behaviour on this occasion is such a ood ard to these ladies, I would chastise you for your insolence on the spot Meanwhile, ive entlee had an instantaneous effect upon the hearers

Looby's face grew pale, and his nether lip began to treentlewoentlemen to be reconciled to each other, and enter into a friendly consultation upon her daughter's diste both equally averse to acco more and more importunate in his de hi attended the family, and was intimately acquainted with her own and Biddy's constitution, said, she hoped he would not take it ah our hero was much mortified at this triumph of his rival, he reat coain be the subject of such a disagreeable dispute Whether the patient was frighted at this altercation, or displeased with herfelloho had, as it were, recalled her frorave, and made himself master of the secret that rankled at her heart, or the disease had wound up her nerves for another paroxysm, certain it is, she all of a sudden broke forth into a violent peal of laughter, which was succeeded by the rief; then she relapsed into a fit, attended with strong convulsions, to the unspeakable terror of the old gentlewoman, who entreated Doctor Looby to be expeditious in his prescription Accordingly he seized the pen with great confidence, and a whole azine of antihysteric medicines were, in different forms, externally and internally applied

Nevertheless, either nature was disturbed in her own efforts by these applications, or the patient was resolved to disgrace the doctor For the more remedies that were administered, her convulsions became the more violent; and in spite of all his endeavours, he could not overcoe, upon the back of his rival's success, could not fail to overwhelm him with confusion; especially as thefor the recovery of her daughter At length, after having exercised her patience in vain for several hours, this affectionate parent could no longer suppress the suggestions of her concern, but, in an incoherent strain, told hier silent in an affair on which depended the life of her dear child

That she had seen enough to believe he had mistaken the case of poor Biddy, and he could not justly bla Doctor Fathom, whose prescription had operated in a miraculous ainst it with great vehehly injurious to hi to take effect, and, in all probability, the fit will not lastin another person at this juncture, you will defraud me of that credit which is my due, and deck my adversary with trophies to which he has no pretension” She was prevailed upon, by this re, as yet, no alteration for the better, and being distracted with her fears, which reproached her ant of natural affection, she sent ato see hi the call, but hastening to the scene of action, was not a little surprised to find Looby still in the apartht not be, resolved to sacrifice his pride to his interest, and, rather than lose his patient altogether, and run the risk of forfeiting his reputation at the same time, stayed with intention to coht not be wholly excluded from the honour of the cure, in case it could be effected But he had reckoned without his host in his calculation of the Count's placability; for, when he put on his capitulating face, and, after a slight apology for his late behaviour, proposed that all ani lady, whose life was at stake, our hero rejected his advances with infinite disdain, and assured thewith a man who had treated him so unworthily, he would not stay another minute in the house, unless he should see him discarded; a satisfaction barely sufficient to atone for the affront he hiiven to his rival

There was no reed to retreat in his turn; then our adventurer, approaching the bedside, reconnoitred the patient, exa up his eyes in expressive silence, detached the footman with a new order to the apothecary It ell the er used expedition, otherwise Doctor Fathom would have been anticipated by the operation of nature; for, the fit having al her senses, when the frontal prescribed by Fathom was applied; to the efficacy of this, therefore, was ascribed her recovery, when she opened her eyes, and began to pour forth unconnected ejaculations; and in a few ht prepared for the purpose, her perception returned, and Ferdinand gained the reputation of having performed a second ence, of y than all she had taken, and so soon as he concluded she was capable to bear the neithout any dangerous e other articles of chit-chat culled for her a the company, that Squire Stub (the cause of Miss Biddy's disorder) had, in his way to entleed He had waited for her on purpose at an inn on the road, where he found means to appease her displeasure, which he had, it seems, incurred, and to supersede her new lover, whom she quitted without cere her levity, yet blessing his good stars for having so seasonably prevented his ruin, which would have infallibly been the consequence of hissuch an adventurer

It would be superfluous to observe, that these tidings operated like an ad lady, hile she affected to pity the squire, was so an to sparkle with uncommon vivacity, and in less than two hours after the last of those terrible attacks, she was restored to a better state of health than she had enjoyed for s of the faratuity for the effects of his extraordinary skill, the old lady favoured hihter not only considered hiood fortune, but also began to discover an uncommon relish for his conversation; so that he was struck with the prospect of succeeding Squire Stub in her affection A conquest which, if sanctioned by the approbation of the mother, would console him for all the disappointments he had sustained; for Miss Biddy was entitled to a fortune of ten thousand pounds, provided she should marry with the consent of her parent, as the sole executrix of the father's will

Anieousthe lodgment he had made, while the two ladies failed not to extol hisall their female acquaintances By means of this circulation, his advice was deed with such an ian to spread, and before the end of the season, he had ravished more than one half of the business fro these fortunate events, he foresaw, that he should find great difficulty in transplanting his reputation, so as to take root in London, which was the only soil in which he could propose to rise to any degree of prosperity and independence; and this reflection was grounded upon a lish people, nalect, on their return to the metropolis, all the connexions theytheir residence at any of the medical wells And this social disposition is so scrupulously maintained, that two persons who lived in the e, shall in four-and-twenty hours so totally forget their friendshi+p, as tothe least token of recognition; so that one would i fro away all traces of memory and recollection

Aware of this oblivious principle, Doctor Fathom collected all his qualifications, in order to make such an impression upon the heart of Miss Biddy, as would resist all her endeavours to shake him from her remembrance; and his efforts succeeded so well, that Squire Stub's advances to a reconciliation were treated with manifest indifference In all probability our hero would have ood fortune been retarded by an obstruction, which, as he did not perceive it, he could not possibly surhter, he had unwittingly made an absolute conquest of the mother, who superintended the conduct of Miss Biddy with such jealous vigilance, that he could find no opportunity of profiting by the progress he had ht of her, no, not for one iven the least intimation to our adventurer, of the sentiments she entertained in his behalf, his complaisance was of such a pliable texture, that he would have quitted his other pursuit, and made her the sole object of his attention But she either depended upon the effect of his own good taste and discernment, or was too proud to disclose a passion which he had hitherto overlooked

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

REPAIRS TO THE METROPOLIS, AND ENROLS HIMSELF AMONG THE SONS OF PAEAN

Before this affair could be brought to a proper explanation, the season being ale, and in a little ti previously obtained permission to visit them in that metropolis He had solicited the same favour of soh he knew they were pre-engaged to different physicians; and resolving to make his first medical appearance in London with some eclat, he not only purchased an old chariot, which was new painted for the purpose, but likewise hired a footuish hie, though much more expensive than his finances could bear, he found absolutely necessary to give him a chance for employment; as every shabby retainer to physic, in this capital, had provided hiether used by way of a travelling sign-post, to draw in custo physician was considered as an obscure pedlar, trudging froe on his shoulders, and selling his remnants of advice by retail A chariot was not now set up for the convenience of a ue of extensive practice, but as a piece of furniture every way as necessary as a large periith three tails; and a physician, let his merit, in other respects, be never so conspicuous, can no more expect to become considerable in business, without the assistance of this implement, than he can hope to live without food, or breathe without a windpipe

This requisite is so well understood, that, exclusive of those who profess theeon, every idle apothecary, who can make interest with so the bays in all places of public resort, and grinning to one another froes Hence proceed many of those cruel accidents which are recorded in the daily papers An apothecary's horses take fright, and run aith his chariot, which is heard of nooverturned, is so terrified at the thoughts of mutilation, that he resolves to walk on foot all the days of his life; and the coach the misfortune to be disabled by a fall from the box, his master can never find another to supply his place

None of these observations escaped the penetrating eye of Fathom, who, before he pretended to seat himself in this machine, had made proper inquiry into all the other methods practised, with a view to keep the wheels in reat world holly engrossed by a few practitioners who had arrived at the sued to cultivate those arts by which they rose; and that the rest of the business was parcelled out into ses, s, and tossed the ball fro in each department two sets, the individuals of which relieved one another occasionally Every knot was coeon, and physician, and sometimes a midas admitted into the party; and in this manner the farce was coued with idleness, coh not so sick as to have recourse toher attendance in the night, thinks proper, for the benefit of her own repose, to complain of a violent headache, and recommends to her mistress a nurse of approved tenderness and discretion; at whose house, in all likelihood, the said chaiven the rendezvous to a male friend The nurse, well skilled in the mysteries of her occupation, persuades the patient, that her ht or chiree of the hysterical affection, unless it be nipt in the bud by so cure performed by a certain apothecary, and appeals to the testiossip of his wife, confirms the evidence, and corroborates the proposal The apothecary being summoned, finds her ladyshi+p in such a delicate situation, that he declines prescribing, and advises her to send for a physician without delay The no called, declares the necessity of ieon of the association

This is one way of beginning the gah the commencement often varies, and sometimes the apothecary and sometimes the physician opens the scene; but, be that as it will, they always appear in a string, like a flight of wild geese, and each confederacy maintains a correspondence with one particular undertaker Fathom, upon these considerations, set up his rest in the first floor of an apothecary in the neighbourhood of Charing Cross, to whoe, and who being made acquainted with his ability and sche hireat alacrity He introduced hiratis visit, sounded forth his praise aood women of his acquaintance; and even prevailed upon hi that he would every day, at a certain ti that, by ht be extended, and his practice grow into request

In the h all thethe whole forenoon, and, at the usual hour, he never failed to make his appearance at the medical coffee-house, with all that solemnity of feature and address, by which the uished; not but that he was often puzzled about the decision of his diurnal route For theup one street and down another, without halting, was become such a stale expedient, that the very 'prentices used to stand at the shop doors, and ridicule the vain parade At length, however, he perused theacquired a distinct idea of its topography, used to alight at the end of long narrow thoroughfares and paved courts, where the chariot was ordered to wait till his return; and, walking with great gravity through the different turnings of these alleys, regain his carriage by another passage, and resume his seat with an air of vast importance With a view to protract the time of his supposed visits, he would, at one place, turn aside to a wall; at another, cheapen an urinal; at a third corner, read a quack advertisee a few lide into some obscure coffee-house, and treat hih