Part 15 (1/2)
Fathom, who had no inclination to offend this choleric Frenchht depend upon his friendshi+p; and, in the meantime, prevailed upon him to accept of a small supply, in consequence of which he procured a pound of sausages, and joined the rest of the co a very suitable addition to such an assee did not exceed thirty years, his beard, which was of a brindled hue, flowed down, like Aaron's, to his s rolled up over the joint of the knee, his breeches were of blue drab, with velluold lace, his waistcoat of scarlet, his coat of rusty black cloth, his hair, twisted into a ra down to his rump, of the colour of jet, and his hat was adorned with a white feather
This original had forrandeur of France, but was discouraged by Cardinal Fleury, who, in all appearance, jealous of his great talents, not only rejected his projects, but even sent hi offended at his i that, like the prophet, he had no honour in his own country, he no sooner obtained his release, than he retired to England, where he was prompted by his philanthropy to propose an expedient to our ministry, which would have saved a vast effusion of blood and treasure; this was an agreeary and the late Ele combat; in which case he offered himself as the Bavarian champion; but in this endeavour he also proved unsuccessful Then turning his attention to the delights of poetry, he becalected every other consideration, and she as usual gradually conducted hioal--a place of rest appointed for all those sinners whom the profane love of poesy hath led astray
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
ONE QUARREL IS COMPROMISED, AND ANOTHER DECIDED BY UNUSUAL ARMS
A other topics of conversation that were discussed at this genial ht upon the carpet by his raciously pleased to ask how his subscription filled? To this interrogation the knight answered, that he reat opposition from a spirit of levity and self-conceit, which seeeneration, but that no difficulties should discourage hi in his duty; and he trusted in God, that, in a very little time, he should be able to confute and overthrow the false philosophy of the s of Moses to that pre-eminence and veneration which is due to an inspired author He spoke of the immortal Neith infinite contempt, and undertook to extract froy which would ascertain the progress of time since the fourth day of the creation to the present hour, with such exactness, that not one vibration of a pendulum should be lost; nay, he affirht be attained by studying these secretfroold
The chevalier, though he did not pretend to contradict these assertions, was too ht's project of converting the Jews and the Gentiles to the Protestant heresy, which, he said, God Alhty would never suffer to triumph over the interests of his own Holy Catholic Church This objection produced abundance of altercation between two very unequal disputants; and the Frenchonist, had recourse to the argu his hand upon his sword, and declaring that he was ready to lose the last drop of his blood in opposition to such a dah in all appearance reduced to the last stage of animal existence, no sooner heard this epithet applied to his plan, than his eyes gleaility of a grasshopper, and, darting himself out at the door like an arrow fro rusty weapon, whicha collection of rarities as the sword of Guy Earl of Warwick This implement he brandished over the chevalier's head with the dexterity of an old prize-fighter, exclaie, ”Thou art a profane wretch eance of Heaven, whose unworthy minister I am, and here thou shalt fall by the sword of the Lord and of Gideon”
The chevalier, unterrified by this dreadful salutation, desired he would accoht have been deprived of one or both these knights-errant, had not General Macleaver, at the desire of hismatters to an accommodation
In the afternoon the society was visited by the hters, who no sooner appeared than they were recognised by our adventurer, and his acquaintance with them renewed in such a manner as alar repaired to the Count's apartno pardon for this intrusion, but I come to consult you about an affair in which my honour is concerned; and a soldier without honour, you know, is no better than a body without a soul I have always admired that speech of Hotspur in the first part of Henry the Fourth:
By Heaven, ht honour from the pale-fac'd moon; Or dive into the bottoround, And pluck up drowned honour by the locks--
”There is a boldness and ease in the expression, and the ies are very picturesque But, without any further prea you have been acquainted with those ladies who drank tea with us this afternoon You'll forgive the question, sir, when I tell you that Major Macleaver introduced Mrs Minikin to them as to ladies of character, and, I don't kno, sir, I have a sort of presentiment that my wife has been irant I may But there was a je ne sais quoi in their behaviour to-day, which begins to alar but my reputation to depend upon, and I hope you will excuseto knohat rank theythe consequence, told hiood-natured ladies, who devoted themselves to the happiness of mankind This explanation had no sooner escaped fronation, his eyes see from their spheres, he swelled to twice his natural di himself on his tiptoes, pronounced, in a strain that eht of the matter, but it is no joke to me, I'll assure you, and Macleaver shall see that I am not to be affronted with iular favour if you will be the bearer of a billet to hiive entleman of our mess whom I can intrust with an affair of this nature”
Fatho such a punctilious warrior, after having in vain attempted to dissuade hie, which was immediately penned in these words:
”SIR,--You have violatedupon Mrs Minikin your pretended cousins as ladies of virtue and reputation I therefore deht to receive, and expect you will adjust with my friend Count Fathom the terms upon which you shall be met by thesealed and directed, was forthwith carried by our adventurer to the lodgings of thethe Count's voice, he got up and opened the door in cuerpo, to the astonishment of Ferdinand, who had never before seen such an Herculean figure Hethe Count in his birthday suit, to which he said he was reduced by the heat of his constitution, though hethat his shi+rt was in the hands of his washerwo himself in a blanket, desired to knohat had procured him the honour of such an extraordinary visit He read the letter with great composure, like ahientleman,” said he, ”in any manner he shall think proper; but, by Jesus, this is no place for such amusements, because, as you well know, my dear Count, if both should be killed by the chance of war, neither of us will be able to escape, and after the breath is out of his body, he will make but a sorry excuse to his family and friends But that is no concern of mine, and therefore I am ready to please him in his oay”
Fathom approved of his remarks, which he reinforced with sundry considerations, to the saed the assistance of thesome expedient to terminate the affair without bloodshed, that no troublesoonist, who, in spite of this overstraining forood-nature ”With all ard for the little man, and my own character is not to seek at this ti, as this sah the body, by , he threw aside the blanket, and displayed scars and seams innumerable upon his body, which appeared like an old patched leathern doublet ”I reiers, Murphy Macnio, upon which he bade me turn out 'Arra, for what?' said I; 'here are no weapons that a gentlero as to box like an English carman' After he had puzzled himself for some time, he proposed that we should retire into a corner, and funk one another with brily we cra foot to foot, began to smoke, and kept a constant fire, until Mac poor Murphy in my arms, 'What, are you dead?' said I; 'if you are dead, speak' 'No, by Jesus!'
cried he, 'I an't dead, but I'm speechless' So he owned I had obtained the victory, and ere as good friends as ever Now, if Mr Minikin thinks proper to put the affair upon the same issue, I will s, and if I cry out first, I will be after asking pardon for this supposed affront”
Fatho at the proposal, to which, however, he objected on account of Minikin's delicate constitution, whichin an ate of a pistol, or the thrust of a sested another expedient in lieu of the sulphur, nah abundantly nauseous, could have no effect upon the infir relished by therepeated the other's arguainst the use of mortal instruments, described the succedaneum which he had concerted with Macleaver The captain at first believed the sche hian to storreat violence; but, by the assurances and address of Fathoth reconciled to the plan, and preparations were made on each side for this duel, which was actually smoked next day, about noon, in a ser's apart of his majesty, and all his court, assembled as witnesses and u locked up together, began to ply their engines with great fury, and it was not long before Captain Minikin perceived he had a ans were fa, which he had frequently used in the course of an hypochondriac disorder; whereas Macleaver, as a stranger to all sorts of medicine, by his wry faces and attempts to puke, expressed the utmost abhorrence of the smell that invaded his nostrils
Nevertheless, resolved to hold out to the last extremity, he continued in action until the closet was filled with such an intolerable vapour as discomposed the whole econoe his breakfast in the face of his opponent, whose nerves were so disconcerted by this disagreeable and unforeseen discharge, that he fell back into his chair in a swoon, and theopened, he ran directly to the , to inhale the fresh air, while the captain, recovering fro, and demanded justice of the arbitrators, who decided in his favour; and theintroduced Mrs Minikin to women of rotten reputation, the parties were reconciled to each other, and peace and concord re-established in the mess
Fathom acquired universal applause for his discreet and humane conduct upon this occasion; and that sa the lady in whose cause he had exerted himself He was presented to her as the husband's particular friend, and when she understood how much she was indebted to his care and concern for the captain's safety, she treated hienteel, well-bred woood deal of personal char
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO