Part 16 (1/2)

They s.h.i.+vered their timbers proudly, At a phantom forelock dragged, And called for a hornpipe loudly Whenever amus.e.m.e.nt flagged.

”Hum! Golly! him POP resemble, Him Britisher sov'reign, hum!

CALAMITY POP VON PEPPERMINT DROP, De King of Canoodle-Dum!”

The mariner's lively ”Hollo!”

Enlivened Canoodle's plain (For blessings unnumbered follow In Civilization's train).

But Fortune, who loves a bathos, A terrible ending planned, For ADMIRAL D. CHICKABIDDY, C.B., Placed foot on Canoodle land!

That rebel, he seized KING GOWLER, He threatened his royal brains, And put him aboard the Howler, And fastened him down with chains.

The Howler she weighed her anchor, With FREDERICK nicely nailed, And off to the North with WILLIAM THE FOURTH These horrible pirates sailed.

CALAMITY said (with folly), ”Hum! nebber want him again - Him civilize all of us, golly!

CALAMITY suck him brain!”

The people, however, were pained when They saw him aboard his s.h.i.+p, But none of them wept for their FREDDY, except HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP.

Ballad: THE MARTINET.

Some time ago, in simple verse I sang the story true Of CAPTAIN REECE, the Mantelpiece, And all her happy crew.

I showed how any captain may Attach his men to him, If he but heeds their smallest needs, And studies every whim.

Now mark how, by Draconic rule And hauteur ill-advised, The n.o.blest crew upon the Blue May be demoralized.

When his ungrateful country placed Kind REECE upon half-pay, Without much claim SIR BERKELY came, And took command one day.

SIR BERKELY was a martinet - A stern unyielding soul - Who ruled his s.h.i.+p by dint of whip And horrible black-hole.

A sailor who was overcome From having freely dined, And chanced to reel when at the wheel, He instantly confined!

And tars who, when an action raged, Appeared alarmed or scared, And those below who wished to go, He very seldom spared.

E'en he who smote his officer For punishment was booked, And mutinies upon the seas He rarely overlooked.

In short, the happy Mantelpiece, Where all had gone so well, Beneath that fool SIR BERKELY'S rule Became a floating h.e.l.l.

When first SIR BERKELY came aboard He read a speech to all, And told them how he'd made a vow To act on duty's call.

Then WILLIAM LEE, he up and said (The Captain's c.o.xswain he), ”We've heard the speech your honour's made, And werry pleased we be.

”We won't pretend, my lad, as how We're glad to lose our REECE; Urbane, polite, he suited quite The saucy Mantelpiece.

”But if your honour gives your mind To study all our ways, With dance and song we'll jog along As in those happy days.

”I like your honour's looks, and feel You're worthy of your sword.

Your hand, my lad--I'm doosid glad To welcome you aboard!”

SIR BERKELY looked amazed, as though He didn't understand.

”Don't shake your head,” good WILLIAM said, ”It is an honest hand.