Part 10 (1/2)

”Do you want to meet some girls tonight and maybe get a little action?”

”I don't know, I guess.”

”You guess? You guess? What are you, gay? Because if you are, that's cool, I don't care but you should tell me so I stop trying to hook you up with girls.”

”No, I'm not gay! I'm straight. I like girls. I'm just not sure that I need your help hooking up with one, though.”

”Trust me, dude, you need my help.”

Jonathan sighed in defeat. ”Okay, whatever. Lead on, once more into the breach, my friend.”

”Into the what?”

”'Once more into the breach my friends.' It's a quote from the 'Cry G.o.d for Harry, England, and Saint George!' speech of Shakespeare's Henry V, written in 1598. Specifically, it's in Act III. The breach in question was the gap in the wall of the city of Harfleur, which the English army held under siege. Henry was encouraging his troops to attack the city again, even if it meant lots of English would die.”

”Holy s.h.i.+t, Jon, you really need to chill on the T-M-I stuff.”

Jonathan laughed. ”Oh, yeah. I know. Sorry about that.”

”Don't worry about it.” Kevin stopped outside some smoked gla.s.s doors. ”Okay, we're here now. Just chill with the T-M-I and you should be fine.”

He opened the doors, and they went in. Kevin led them over to the bar where they sat down and ordered drinks. Jonathan may have been skinny, but he was tall enough that the bartender didn't bother to ask them for I.D. This crew didn't seem to care much about any drinking age issues.

”Okay, take a look around and tell me if you see any girls that look interesting.”

Jonathan picked up his drink and grabbed the straw with his lips, maneuvering it around with his tongue until he could start sipping from it.

”Dude, stop making out with your drink.”

Jonathan dropped the straw immediately. ”I'm not making out with my drink! Geez.”

”Guys don't use straws. Take the straw out and just drink from the gla.s.s normally.”

”But straws are more efficient. They keep the ice from dropping down due to the effects of gravity and hitting your mouth.”

Kevin fixed him with a death stare. ”Take. The straw. Out. Or I'm gonna hit you.”

”Geeeez, take a chill pill. Easy on the 'roids they can cause heart problems and t.e.s.t.i.c.l.e shrinkage, you know.”

Kevin put his drink down slowly. ”Did you just accuse me of using steroids?”

Jonathan was oblivious to Kevin's simmering anger. ”Not really, but it's not out of the realm of possibility, is it? I mean, look at you.” He gestured towards Kevin's chest, arms, and legs. ”Your pectoral, biceps, and quadriceps muscles really aren't in proportion to your underlying skeletal structure, which suggests either very intense eating and exercise regimens that are adhered to with an almost religious intensity or some form of chemical enhancement.”

Kevin responded with a very low and even voice, which belied his offended fury. ”I could snap your little twig neck with one hand for saying that.”

”See, that's exactly what I mean. You have the strength in one hand to literally end a person's life; you can't argue that steroids couldn't make that possible.”

He reached down and wrangled his straw with his tongue one more time and started sucking away at his drink, oblivious to Kevin's anger.

Jonathan perked up when his eyes locked onto something across the room. ”Oh look, there are some cute girls. There are two of them. Maybe we should go say hi.”

Kevin just looked at Jonathan and shook his head. He realized that Jonathan had no idea how insulting he had just been. Kevin worked hard to sculpt his muscles and keep himself in top shape for rugby. If he didn't, he could get seriously injured out on the field; it was a very rough sport. n.o.body ever appreciated that fact, outside of the guys on his team and his coach.

He ran his fingers through his hair and let his anger fade out. Since the kid didn't mean anything by it, Kevin didn't need to turn it into a big deal. Later he'd explain to Jonathan that it wasn't a good idea to tell guys twice your size that they're 'roid ragers.

He looked over to where Jonathan was staring. There were two girls sitting there, one really beautiful one and one who looked like her younger, plainer sister, maybe.

”Now, there you go, Jonathan, that's more like it. Okay, obviously I'll take the blond, you go for the brunette.” He stood, preparing to walk over.

”Hey, I had my eye on the blond,” said Jonathan, in an offended and slightly proprietary tone.

”Dude, she's totally not your speed, you're better off with the little one.”

”Nope, I like the blond. You take the little one. She looks like my sister, so you should get along fine with her.”

Kevin hesitated. ”What's that supposed to mean?”

”Well, I can see that you kind of like my sister, so that smaller girl is a good subst.i.tute.”

Kevin was shocked that this guy could be so far out in left field. He held his hands up, palms out, in front of his chest. ”Dude, no offense, but I have no interest in your sister, whatsoever.”

”Well, that's not what it looked like to me.”

”What are you talking about?”

”I've seen you, the way you're looking at her all the time, the flirting. It's obvious.”

Kevin started sputtering, ”You're ... you're nuts, man. She's cute and all, but she's definitely ... not ... definitely not my type. Not at all. I mean, at all.”

Jonathan put his drink down and stopped looking at the girls. He turned his head to meet Kevin's eyes. ”What's wrong with my sister?”

”Nothing's wrong with her, dude, she's just not my type.”

”In what way? Explain it to me.” Jonathan rested his right elbow on the bar, folding his hands in front of him, waiting expectantly for Kevin's response.

”Well, first of all, she's too young.”

”She's your age or maybe a year younger.”

”Yeah, well, she's also pretty shy.”

”That's only because you don't know her very well, and besides, that didn't stop you from flirting with her. Try again.”

Kevin sighed loudly in frustration. ”She's ... she's ... not experienced!”

Jonathan smiled. ”I'm sure you could remedy that problem.” He hesitated for a minute, looking down at his hands. ”Is it because she isn't pretty enough or smart enough for a guy like you? She says she could never go out with someone like you because she isn't popular enough. But you see, that's what I can't figure out. Why isn't she? Because as far as I can see, she has it all looks, brains, personality. So you explain it to me, what is she missing? Why isn't she your type?”

”Jesus Christ, Jon, you sure know how to put a guy on the spot. But let me put your mind at ease. Your sister is beautiful, really, she is. I mean, I thought she was cute before, but tonight at dinner, I mean, she really is pretty hot. And as far as being smart is concerned, she's probably smarter than all of my past girlfriends put together, so it has nothing to do with her brains. I don't know her very well, but she seems to have a nice personality.”

Kevin ran his fingers through his hair, agitated that he was being forced to explain something he didn't really understand himself.