Part 50 (1/2)
”It is because he _is_ looking at you that you are feeling uncomfortable,” I answered. ”He wants you to confess your sins. I don't mean to me, but to himself; though if you would like to tell me anything, and I can help you, I shall be _very_ glad. You know Jesus Christ came to save us from our sins; and that's why we call him our Saviour. But he can't save us from our sins if we won't confess that we have any.”
”I'm sure I never said but what I be a great sinner, as well as other people.”
”You don't suppose that's confessing your sins?” I said. ”I once knew a woman of very bad character, who allowed to me she was a great sinner; but when I said, 'Yes, you have done so and so,' she would not allow one of those deeds to be worthy of being reckoned amongst her sins. When I asked her what great sins she had been guilty of, then, seeing these counted for nothing, I could get no more out of her than that she was a great sinner, like other people, as you have just been saying.”
”I hope you don't be thinking I ha' done anything of that sort,” she said with wakening energy. ”No man or woman dare say I've done anything to be ashamed of.”
”Then you've committed no sins?” I returned. ”But why did you send for me? You must have something to say to me.”
”I never did send for you. It must ha' been my husband.”
”Ah, then I'm afraid I've no business here!” I returned, rising. ”I thought you had sent for me.”
She returned no answer. I hoped that by retiring I should set her thinking, and make her more willing to listen the next time I came. I think clergymen may do much harm by insisting when people are in a bad mood, as if they had everything to do, and the Spirit of G.o.d nothing at all. I bade her good-day, hoped she would be better soon, and returned to Wynnie.
As we walked home together, I said:
”Wynnie, I was right. It would not have done at all to take you into the sick-room. Mrs. Stokes had not sent for me herself, and rather resented my appearance. But I think she will send for me before many days are over.”
CHAPTER IV.
THE ART OF NATURE.
We had a week of hazy weather after this. I spent it chiefly in my study and in Connie's room. A world of mist hung over the sea; it refused to hold any communion with mortals. As if ill-tempered or unhappy, it folded itself in its mantle and lay still.
What was it thinking about? All Nature is so full of meaning, that we cannot help fancying sometimes that she knows her own meanings. She is busy with every human mood in turn--sometimes with ten of them at once--picturing our own inner world before us, that we may see, understand, develop, reform it.
I was turning over some such thought in my mind one morning, when Dora knocked at the door, saying that Mr. Percivale had called, and that mamma was busy, and would I mind if she brought him up to the study.
”Not in the least, my dear,” I answered; ”I shall be very glad to see him.”
”Not much of weather for your sacred craft, Percivale,” I said as he entered. ”I suppose, if you were asked to make a sketch to-day, it would be much the same as if a stupid woman were to ask you to take her portrait?”
”Not quite so bad as that,” said Percivale.
”Surely the human face is more than nature.”
”Nature is never stupid.”
”The woman might be pretty.”
”Nature is full of beauty in her worst moods; while the prettier such a woman, the more stupid she would look, and the more irksome you would feel the task; for you could not help making claims upon her which you would never think of making upon Nature.”
”I daresay you are right. Such stupidity has a good deal to do with moral causes. You do not ever feel that Nature is to blame.”
”Nature is never ugly. She may be dull, sorrowful, troubled; she may be lost in tears and pallor, but she cannot be ugly. It is only when you rise into animal nature that you find ugliness.”