Part 12 (1/2)

'THIS isn't the way back to your house.'

They had left the airport behind, and Heather frowned as she recognised the familiar environs of Bath.

'No, I said I'd show you the site of the new shopping arcade. Give you a taste of what your new job will involve.'

She sat back, half shocked, half thrilled. He still intended to give her the job? She was surprised, she couldn't deny it. Unless... her whole body went cold, and she rubbed instinctively at her goose-pimpled arms. Unless it was because of her parents that he still intended to employ her; because he didn't want to hurt or worry them; because he knew how pleased they would be to learn that she had a safe, secure job with him that wouldn't take her too far away from them. But how could she accept employment on those terms? She wanted him to want and value her for herself. If he couldn't love her, then surely at least she could have his respect? And taking a job that was purely and simply a sinecure was no way to achieve that. Besides, how could she work for him, feeling as she did? It was impossible.

It was equally impossible for her not to be impressed when Kyle stopped the car a few yards short of the half-restored arcade.

It was very much as he had described to her, and from the section of the arcade which was already partially restored it was possible to see what the finished effect would be. The Georgian bow windows cried out for subtle, delicate decoration, the traditional cobbled pedestrian-way invited people to linger.

There would be benches at intervals, and a traditional form of street lighting. The opportunity to orchestrate a unifying flow of window decor for the entire complex was one that couldn't be turned down lightly. Heather tried not to allow herself to imagine the pleasure she could have found in the work if she and Kyle were meeting as equals. She couldn't do it. She couldn't take a job that was being offered to her simply because of her parents.

'Kyle...' She turned to tell him as much but he was frowning, his voice clipped.

'Heather, I know what you're thinking. What you're going to say. I can't in all honesty pretend that I can forget last night, but I promise you I won't let it interfere in our business relations.h.i.+p, if that's what's worrying you. You won't have to pay for your job by sleeping with the boss.' He said the words with distaste, his mouth contorted in a faint grimace. 'For your parents' sake, though, if nothing else”, I want you to promise me that you won't leave either my home or my employ. Promise me.'

A cold wind whistled through the deserted arcade*, making her s.h.i.+ver. 'Promise me.' She was trapped and they both knew it. How quickly he had divined her intentions! But it wasn't as easy as that.

Her breath shook in her lungs as she breathed in. She mustn't let herself be tied to a promise she wasn't sure she could keep.

'Kyle, I don't think I can make that sort of commitment. After last night...well, you must see how difficult it would be.'

He wasn't going to make it any easier for her, she recognised, facing his grim silence.

'For me to work for you would be bad enough, but to carry on living with you...that would be intolerable for both of us. You must see that,' she pleaded wildly.

'As a matter of fact, I don't. What's so different, other than the fact that we've made love? You can't spend the rest of your life running away from situations you can't face up to. I'm sorry if...' He saw her s.h.i.+ver in the cold and broke off. 'This isn't the place to discuss this. Let's go home.'

There was no point in arguing with him now, Heather consoled herself, as she meekly went with him to the car.

She would tell him tonight of her plans to return home. She fell asleep on the way back, waking only when Kyle shook her. When she opened her eyes she couldn't remember where she was. To open her eyes and see Kyle looking down at her made her forget reality in favour of fantasy. Without even thinking what she was doing she reached out to him, checking herself abruptly when the bright arc of another vehicle's headlights cut through the darkness.

The other vehicle stopped, and then a door opened. A man walked round to Kyle's door. 'We've brought the tree you ordered, Mr Bennett. Where would you like it?'

'If you could take it round the back for me, John, that would be fine.'

The look of pain and disappointment she had thought she had seen in his eyes as she withdrew from him must have been nothing more than a product of her own imagination, Heather acknowledged dully as she got out of the car.

'You go in,' Kyle instructed her. 'I'll go with John.'

She paused for a moment, watching him stride away to help the other man manhandle the large Christmas tree tied to the back of the his small van.

She hadn't envisaged Kyle involved in anything as ordinary as putting up a real Christmas tree. She had half expected him to ignore that aspect of the seasonal festivities, and instead perhaps settle for some outrageously expensive and chic minimalistic Christmas decor.

'I thought we'd dress it this evening,' he told her, walking into the sitting-room later to find her standing in front of it.

This was her opportunity to tell him that she wouldn't be there this evening, that she was leaving, returning to her own home; but stupidly she found herself agreeing, knowing even as she did so that the greater part of her wanted to stay. It was no use telling herself that her behaviour was dangerously close to emotional suicide. Dangerous not because she wanted to stay, but because she wanted to be with Kyle.

After they had eaten, Kyle went upstairs and returned with several large cardboard boxes.

'I think there should be enough stuff in here. I'll check the lights and you can sort the rest.'

It was such a familiar and comforting ritual, and one she had shared in so many, many times.

She tried not to think about the first Christmas without Kyle. They had all been subdued, even though her parents had pretended not to be. She had looked in vain for a card from him, believing with all the pa.s.sionate intensity of her eighteen years that her life could only return to normal once she had some sign from him that she was forgiven.

It was only slowly and painfully that she had learned that that sort of forgiveness could not be bestowed by anyone else, but had to come from within oneself.

'You're looking very pensive. What's on your mind?'

Here was her chance to tell him that she must leave, but foolishly she said nothing, denying that there was anything worrying her.

She watched him surrept.i.tiously as he worked. His hands were strong and sure, and yet careful. He had infinite patience, she reflected, watching him. One day he would marry and have children, she was sure of it, and she was pierced by jealousy at the thought.

The tree was large and it took them two hours to dress it to their mutual satisfaction.

'Are you expecting many guests for Christmas?' Heather asked him, as she stepped back to study it from a distance.

'No, there'll just be two of us.'

His reply shocked her, her hand stilling as she reached put to adjust a piece of tinsel.

'Just... but...'

'You've been through a very traumatic time recently. I didn't think you'd be in the mood for a horde of house guests.'

She blinked, stunned that he should even have considered her feelings. Ridiculously, all she could think of to say was a husky, 'And I haven't even got you a present.'

'You've already given it to me.'

For a moment she couldn't think, much less speak, her breath trapped deep in her lungs, her mind shocked by what she had heard, and then the intimacy of those few quiet words. .h.i.t her, and with a small cry she rushed past him and up the stairs.

In her bedroom she sank down on to the bed, s.h.i.+vering with a mixture of sensations. Why had he had to say that? She had suspected him of irony or worse, but hadn't been able to see any in his face, and yet he couldn't have meant to imply that... he couldn't really have felt that pa.s.sionate sincerity she had heard in his voice.

'Heather?'

She held her breath as she heard him outside her door.

'I didn't mean to upset you. Please come back down. I've arranged for us to telephone your parents at ten.'

Unwillingly, Heather opened the door. He looked paler than usual and his face seemed thinner. He needed a shave, and she ached to reach out and touch the roughness of his jaw. A faint smile touched her mouth as she looked at him.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing, I was just admiring your ”designer stubble”.'

He frowned and she had to explain what she meant.