Part 83 (2/2)

'Well, we're all right 'ere, ain't we?' said the man behind the moat; 'there's a nice fire and plenty of heasy chairs. Wot the 'ell more do you want?'

'Yes,' remarked another philosopher. 'If we only had a shove-ha'penny table or a ring board, I reckon we should be able to enjoy ourselves all right.'

Philpot and Harlow were still absent, and the others again fell to wondering where they could be.

'I see old Joe up on 'is ladder only a few minutes before twelve,'

remarked Wantley.

Everyone agreed that it was a mystery.

At this moment the two truants returned, looking very important.

Philpot was armed with a hammer and carried a pair of steps, while Harlow bore a large piece of wallpaper which the two of them proceeded to tack on the wall, much to the amus.e.m.e.nt of the others, who read the announcement opposite written in charcoal.

Every day at meals since Barrington's unexpected outburst at the Beano dinner, the men had been trying their best to 'kid him on' to make another speech, but so far without success. If anything, he had been even more silent and reserved than before, as if he felt some regret that he had spoken as he had on that occasion. Cra.s.s and his disciples attributed Barrington's manner to fear that he was going to get the sack for his trouble and they agreed amongst themselves that it would serve him b.l.o.o.d.y well right if 'e did get the push.

When they had fixed the poster on the wall, Philpot stood the steps in the corner of the room, with the back part facing outwards, and then, everything being ready for the lecturer, the two sat down in their accustomed places and began to eat their dinners, Harlow remarking that they would have to buck up or they would be too late for the meeting; and the rest of the crowd began to discuss the poster.

'Wot the 'ell does PLO mean?' demanded Bundy, with a puzzled expression.

'Plain Layer On,' answered Philpot modestly.

''Ave you ever 'eard the Professor preach before?' inquired the man on the pail, addressing Bundy.

Imperial Bankquet Hall 'The Refuge'

on Thursday at 12.30 prompt

Professor Barrington WILL DELIVER A

ORATION

ENt.i.tLED

THE GREAT SECRET, OR HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT WORK

The Rev. Joe Philpot PLO (Late absconding secretary of the light refreshment fund) Will take the chair and anything else he can lay his hands on.

At The End Of The Lecture A MEETING WILL BE ARRANGED And carried out according to the Marquis of Queensbury's Rules.

A Collection will be took up in aid of the cost of printing

'Only once, at the Beano,' replied that individual; 'an' that was once too often!'

'Finest speaker I ever 'eard,' said the man on the pail with enthusiasm. 'I wouldn't miss this lecture for anything: this is one of 'is best subjects. I got 'ere about two hours before the doors was opened, so as to be sure to get a seat.'

'Yes, it's a very good subject,' said Cra.s.s, with a sneer. 'I believe most of the Labour Members in Parliament is well up in it.'

'And wot about the other members?' demanded Philpot. 'Seems to me as if most of them knows something about it too.'

'The difference is,' said Owen, 'the working cla.s.ses voluntarily pay to keep the Labour Members, but whether they like it or not, they have to keep the others.'

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