Vol 5 Chapter 4 (1/2)

Chapter 04: Most desired Words

On the next day, I received a mail from Hijiri saying “You don’t need to worry about me. Please go with everyone to the festival”.

I told Kaorun about that, but she stayed depressed.

Kaorun herself was trying to act like always, but while making breakfast she cut her finger with the kitchen knife or she tripped on even grounds, thus unable to hide her agitation.

After dinner, Kaorun kept an absent-minded state with her elbow rested on the table.

“Hey, Kaorun.”

“…”

“Ehm, Kaorun?”

“…”

“Kaoru-sa~n.”

“…No reply. It’s just a corpse.”

“No, don’t call yourself a corpse.”

After retorting lightly, I said as brightly as possible.

“We’re all going to the river now. Do you want to come with us?”

“I appreciate the thought, but I still have to prepare for dinner.”

“…We just had dinner, you know? Well, though you didn’t eat much.”

While saying so, I took Kaorun’s hand.

“C’mon, let’s go together. Staying at home won’t solve anything.”

I said encouraging, but Kaorun didn’t seem to listen, as she started be absent-minded again. …This was a serious case of depression.

Unable to watch this any longer, I half-forcefully dragged Kaorun with us to the river.

But even at the river, Kaorun stayed absent-minded as ever. The change of atmosphere was in vain.

There we decided to wait until evening and invite Kaorun to the festival.

I was worried about Hijiri, but the depressed Kaorun was on my mind too.

So I hoped that the festival at least would serve as a change of atmosphere.

Taking Kaorun with us, we walked around twenty minutes from the holiday house to the shrine. Climbing up the stone stairs, we pa.s.sed through the shrine archways.

On top, a large crowd was enlivening the grounds.

Watching over the grounds, I saw stands like goldfish-scooping, fried octopus b.a.l.l.s or grilled squid lined up. The tempting smell of food hung in the air.

Seeing that, everyone had sparkles in their eyes.

“It’s my first time to a j.a.panese festival, but… it looks fun.”

“Indeed.”

Replying to Machina with a smile, Luna also watched over the stands in an excited state. As for Kaorun, she glanced at women wearing yukatas, then said to me with a small voice.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama, please take a closer look at the bottom of the woman in the pink yukata. I dare to say that she is not wearing any underwear.”

“…For real?”

Unmeant I followed Kaorun’s look, but

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama, that was a lie.”

teased by Kaorun, I got red in the face.

But well, maybe due to the atmosphere of the festival, Kaorun seemed to have cheered up a bit, so I was relieved.

There Nazuna came closer with cotton-candy in her hand. Next to her was Elni, playing with a yo-yo balloon in her hand.

“Here, cotton-candy for you, Brother.”

“Oh, thanks. I see you got a yo-yo balloon, Elni.”

“Yeah!”

When I called out to her, Elni proudly showed off her yo-yo balloon. But because she did so too hastily, the balloon slipped out of her hand and burst upon falling onto the ground.

“Uwaaaaaah!”

Looking down on the broke balloon, Elni raised a scream.

Her expression was close to tears.

“Sh- s.h.i.+n.o.bu~”

“No, don’t come crying to me. All I can say is that it’s no use crying over spilt yo-yo balloons.”

“Oh my, you say some clever things, s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama.”

“Not clever at all!”

On Kaorun’s words, Elni puffed her cheeks lightly and replied.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu, I’m sad! So give me all of your cotton-candy!”

“…Are you pulling my leg??”

“I’m pulling your cotton-candy.”

“That’s not what I meant. If you want it, buy some yourself.”

Saying so, I handed her a thousand yen bill, when Elni thanked me with a smile and walked away to the stand. Soon enough she came back with grilled squid in her hand.

“I’ll give you half of my grilled squid, s.h.i.+n.o.bu!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, because it’s a calamity to eat too much calamary.”

“Oh my, Elni-sama says some clever things too.”

“…You think so?”

I wearily replied to Kaorun, who had clapped her hands, when now Nazuna came over.

“Brother, Brother. I’ll also share my fried noodles with you!”

“Oh, thank you!”

Saying my thanks once again, I took the fried noodles from Nazuna, but

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu! I’ll give you my fried octopus b.a.l.l.s!”

“Brother! Shaved ice!”

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu! A chocolate banana!”

“Brother, a candied apple!”

Elni and Nazuna brought more and more food to me.

…I should give a fair warning here.

“Hey, don’t buy it if you can’t eat it alone. I’m still eating my cotton-candy. Don’t load it all off on me, share it with the other girls, too.”

“Meow!”

Upon my words, Nazuna saluted and handed over the candied apple to Machina.

“Then I’ll give my chocolate banana to Luna.”

Elni shoved the chocolate banana into Luna’s mouth.

“Mmg!? E- Elni-chan, such a big banana will not fit. St- Stop. Yahn…”

Luna phrased it strangely erotic. Also, Luna eating the forcefully entered banana from Elni, was even more erotic.

Like always, Luna was a natural erotic big sister.

Such thoughts crossed my mind as I tasted my cotton-candy again. There Kaorun called out to me with a wry smile.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama, you have cotton-candy stuck to your cheek.”

“…P- Purposefully! I’m appealing on my cuteness. Leave me alone.”

I replied distracting, since it was embarra.s.sing. I hastily reached out for my cheek.

Upon that, Machina, next to me, laughed lightly and said.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu, not that one, but the other. Should I get it off?”

“Yeah, lick it off with your tongue.”

…No, wait. d.a.m.n Kaorun was mimicking me. I should give her a proper warning for once.

I turned around with that mindset.

“Geez, you’re such a baby.”

Machina naturally placed her hand on my shoulder and licked my cheek with her tongue.

A sweet fragrance and the sensation of a warm tongue. Also the warmth from her hand on my shoulder. I looked at Machina stiffly.

“Now it’s off— wait, what are you making me do! s.h.i.+n.o.bu you pervert!”

She only noticed her own action now, suddenly turned bright red and protested.

“…Ehm, I didn’t say anything, you know? Kaorun was just imitating me. Actually, notice it before you actually do it.”

“Sh- Shut up! It was said so natural that I ended up doing it on reflex! Besides, Kaoru is at fault for saying such strange stuff!”

“Well, yeah.”

I nodded and faced Kaorun together with Machina.

But our gaze fell on a maid wearing a Gund*m mask.

Receiving our gazes, that maid simply said.

“I’m a Gund*m.”

“…Is that so.”

“Sorry to have bothered you.”

Inadvertently, I and Machina averted our eyes. However, the Gund*m aka Kaorun continued unbothered, in fact even somewhat frolic.

“Right now I’m a Gund*m, but usually I work as maid.”

“That’s quite a Gund*m.”

When I retorted, Elni raised her hand and interjected.

“Just like Kaorun usually works as maid, I work as G.o.ddess!”

Elni declared proudly for some reason. Then Nazuna also raised her hand and followed up on that.

“And I work as little sister.”

“Then I work the house ch.o.r.es.”

Even Luna said so now, so I decided to play along with everyone.

“In that case, I work as a martial artist. What about you, Machina?”

“Eh? Me? I’m, ehm…”

Seeing Machina at a loss for words, Elni answered in her stead.

“Machina works as a dominatrix.”

“Yes, that’s right. Oho~hoho~! I’ll step on you, so kneel— wait, I’m not a dominatrix! Don’t say weird stuff!”

Like always, Machina was tricked and then retorted.

After Machina pinched Elni’s cheek, she suddenly s.h.i.+fted her gaze onto a target shooting stand.

“Hey, s.h.i.+n.o.bu, what’s that?”

“A target shooting, as you can see. You stuff a cork bullet into the gun and try to bring down the gifts on the display, so that you’ll get it. …Want to try it?”

“N- No, thanks. It’s a game for kids.”

“Don’t say that. We’re at a festival, so I don’t think it’s all that bad to act a bid childish. I’ll play too.”

“…I- If you insist, I’ll play with you.”

Machina said bashful and stood in front of the target shooting stand with me.

There Elni also lined up besides me and opened her mouth.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu, me too! I might not look like it, but target shooting is my pride!”

“Hoo. Then show me your skills.”

Replying so to Elni, I paid the man at the target shooting stand the fee for three people.

Then Elni started to stuff the gun with the cork bullet with a serious expression.

On the other hand, Machina, who had claimed it to be a kid’s game, also took up the gun with in a somewhat excited state.

However, not a single of Machina’s bullets. .h.i.t the gifts and she frowned.

“…I’m not hitting at all.”

“Hahaha, you suck, Machina. Watch my great G.o.ddess’ skill!”

Elni puffed her chest full of confidence and took a hundred yen coin out of her pocket. Then she flipped up the coin into the air. At once she aimed the gun and pulled the trigger.

Right away, her cork bullet hit a caramel box and perfectly brought it to a fall. Moreover, catching the falling hundred yen coin with her hand— would have been cool, but she missed it and the coin fell onto the ground.

The hundred yen coin made a loud noise and rolled away.

“Uwaaah! Wait!”

Elni chased after the coin…. tripping midway.

While watching that, I made a small sigh.

“…She’s such a sad fellow.”

“It would have been cool enough if she had done it normally.”

—Well, like that we enjoyed the festival. Suddenly a loud BOOM sounded, as the firework started in the night sky.

“Wah, it’s so pretty, Brother.”

“Pretty? My profile is?”

“No, the fireworks.”

Ignoring my joke with a smile, Nazuna looked up to the night sky.

I followed her example at looked up, but the fireworks were far away, which left me rather unsatisfied. Everyone else probably felt the same.

“Let’s go somewhere, where we can see the fireworks better.”

Upon my suggestion, everyone nodded with a smile…

Leaving the shrine, going for a place with a better view on the fireworks— our feet headed to the nearby riverbed. When we reached the riverbed, there were already plenty of other people, watching the endless flowers blooming in the night sky and smitten by the beautiful sight.

“It’s really pretty…”

Luna leaked an admiring voice.

Her profile enlightened by the brilliant firework was so beautiful that I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

Luna seemed to have noticed my gaze, as she s.h.i.+fted her look from the fireworks onto me. Then she smiled.

…How beautiful, I thought.

Her soft smile deeply touched my heart and the roaring of the fireworks seemed so far away.

Unmeant I reached out my hand and touched Luna’s cheek.

“What is the matter, s.h.i.+n.o.bu-san?”

“N- Nah, nothing.”

I hastily removed my hand from her cheek and scratched my own cheek distracting.

I couldn’t tell her that I just wanted to touch her.

While I felt my cheeks getting hot, I pretended to watch the fireworks, then looked at Luna once more. …She indeed was beautiful.

And not just Luna.

Enlightened by the fireworks, everyone looked really pretty. Luna, Machina, Elni, all of them… Mh? Kaorun was missing.

Noticing that, I at once checked the near area, but Kaorun wasn’t to be seen close by.

“Hey, where did Kaorun go to?”

I asked everyone. The girls took off their gazes from the fireworks and watched over the area.

“Huh? That’s strange. She was here until just a moment ago…”

“Don’t tell me she got lost…!”

Nazuna tilted her head while Machina made a slightly worried face.

I clapped Machina onto the shoulder and Elni told her rea.s.suring.

“Machina, Kaorun isn’t me, so she won’t get lost.”

“Then, why isn’t she here?”

On Machina’s question, Elni crossed her arms and pondered, but her expression gradually s.h.i.+fted from cheerful to gloomy. Now both Elni and Machina made a worried face.

There I took out my cell phone and called Kaorun.

“…No good. It won’t connect.”

Not able to contact Kaorun, I got worried for some reason.

“I’m going to look for her.”

Before I noticed it, I had started running.

Soon enough, Elni lined up next to me.

“…Elni?”

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu, let’s all split up and search. That way, we’ll find her quicker.”

Saying that, Elni smiled.

There I turned around and looked at the other girls.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu-san, we will go search over there.”

Luna waved her hand lightly and walked off with Machina and Nazuna.

…Everyone was worried about Kaorun.

Thinking that, my chest got hot for some reason and with these warm feelings, I searched for Kaorun in the crowd.

But she was nowhere to be found and my earlier worry increased.

Worrying that Kaorun went off somewhere all by herself, I continued to run under the night sky, which started to get cloudy, without stop together with Elni….

The gloomy riverbed, removed from the crowd. There was Kaorun.

Kaorun was watching the night sky, even after the firework ended, alone with a somewhat sad expression. She just looked like a single beautiful flower on a stalk. A perfectly beautiful picture just by herself. She certainly was pretty. But she also looked gravely lonesome and sad.

“…What are you doing here all alone?”

I called out to Kaorun.

Kaorun seemed to have noticed Elni and me, as she wasn’t surprised and slowly s.h.i.+fted her gaze onto us. Then she opened her mouth lightly.

“My deepest apologies for causing you troubles, s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama, Elni-sama. Being together with everyone was just so much fun that…I became scared.”

“Scared…of what?”

Kaorun didn’t answer the question and averted her eyes, then said.

“…Truth be told, I had intended to return to the Gogyou Household after a full day of fun with you, s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama. But you were even kinder than I had antic.i.p.ated and even the Miss covered for me. Luna-sama, Machina-sama and Elni-sama also treated me kindly. That is why…I became scared.”

There she stopped her words and raised her gaze to the pitch-black night sky once again.

“It was a night like this on that day….”

Along with her words, Kaorun slowly started to talk indifferent like always.

“For as long as I can remember, I was in the exorcist organisation. I did not know the faces of my parents. But, just once, I located my parent’s whereabouts behind the exorcists’ back and tried to meet them.”

While talking, Kaorun lightly clenched her fists.

“I thought that they might help me. That my kind parents might get me out of here. I believed so at the bottom of my heart. Therefore, I continued to walk for a very long time, not feeling any exhaustion.”

Kaorun’s faintly lively voice

“Strangely enough, no one came after me. Escaping was not an option and even if I tried, I was dragged back immediately, yet not a single one came after me. …Now that I think back on it, it was all too convenient. I am afraid they leaked the information on purpose to make me head for my parents.”

changed into a resigned sigh.

“…I had wanted to get help. I thought my parents would help me. However, upon arriving at my parents’ house, my supposedly mother was innocently smiling with her child. They looked so happy that I also…wanted to be part of it.”

With a trembling voice, Kaorun continued with a “However,”.

“my mother told me, who had come by so suddenly, ‘What’s wrong, little girl? Where’s your mother? You can’t wander off on your own, you know?’. She said that with a very gentle voice. That is why I couldn not say anything back. I came to realize.”

Killing her expression and with only her voice and clenched fists trembling, Kaorun said.

“That I had no place in this happy family. I was abandoned by my mother and forgotten. Once I realized that, I ran away from my mother. I no longer, had a place to return to….All that was left to me was being a tool.”

Straining her eyes, she looked into the night sky and continued sadly.

“…I no longer remember the face of my mother. What I remember instead is that I walked alone under a pitch-black sky. Under a broad sky without the moon or stars, in a world without colours and sounds, I, who is neither human nor devil, wandered about as left behind….”

With her usual inexpressiveness, but with tears dwelling up in her eyes, Kaorun slowly spun her words, “At that time, I thought…”.

“—Ahh, this is my life. Without knowing where to go, continuing to walk all alone. This is me, is what I thought.”

Upon hearing these words, a pain ran through my chest.

I at least had heard that hybrid devils like Kaorun were treated like tools. But coming to know what it meant in reality….made me freeze on the spot, unable to say anything.

Then, after a short pause, Kaorun opened her mouth again.

“…From then on, I ceased to think and just lived as a tool. Still, I met the Miss. The Miss, as a first, treating someone like me as a person. She gave me a place to belong to. So I thought that I wanted to stay by her side, become her family, but…”

Midway, Kaorun’s shoulders trembled lightly.

“Returning to the exorcist organisation will get this denied again. They will tell me that I am a tool and cannot become the Miss’ family. I am scared of that. The closer I get to everyone, the more unbearable is the thought of getting it denied…I am getting so incredible scared.”

Saying that, Kaorun bit strongly onto her lips as to endure something.

Not daring to show tears, she looked down while her shoulders continued to tremble lightly.

—I want to protect her.

I couldn’t stand seeing her like that. I wanted to show her a smile, so I reached out my hand for Kaorun.

“You don’t have to go anywhere. Just stay with us.”

Sentiments implied, I gently patted Kaorun’s head.

“I’ll protect you if anything happens. So, don’t make such a face.”

After patting her head….I gently offered her my hand.

“Everyone’s waiting. Even Hijiri will be back soon. …Let’s go back together.”

Kaorun looked at my hand for a while, but after a moment of hesitation,

“…Yes.”

she showed a smile and took my hand.

Then we decided to go back to the other girls with Kaorun.

But on the way, Elni, who had stayed silent the whole time, opened her mouth hesitantly.

“…I think you better go see your mother once more, Kaorun.”

Kaorun stopped upon these words and Elni continued while looking at her sadly.

“Curse her or whatever. Just go see her and tell her your feelings….otherwise, you’ll come to regret it.”

Elni’s tone was a mixture of gloominess and sadness.

Kaorun didn’t answer Elni and just stared down with her mouth closed.

But after a short silence, she said quietly.

“…In the past, I had once considered to go to see her again. I wanted to ask her why she abandoned me, why she did not love me. However, that answer can easily be guessed. Because I… am a filthy devil. Going to ask a question to which I already know the answer… will just hurt me.”

“…It’ll hurt because you still feel for your parents, even now, right? Because you still believe in them. Even with such a faint hope, it’ll always hunt you. Keeping it vaguely won’t save you. You properly have to find… an answer.”

Elni said strictly. But, it was the truth. Just like Elni had said, she had to resolve the matter at some point. Putting the answer on the shelf would only hurt you. …And telling that to Kaorun was surely a hard role. Elni was close to tears and continued on.

“Humans are bound to die one day. You don’t know if that will happen tomorrow or in a year. This might sound extreme, but you might not ever see her again if you don’t meet her tomorrow. If you have something to ask of her, it’s better that you hear the truth from her mouth.”

There Elni changed her tone and clapped on my shoulder with a smile.

“If you’re too scared, you can take s.h.i.+n.o.bu with you. s.h.i.+n.o.bu is reliable, so he’ll help if something happens. You also have Hijiri. You have a proper place to return to, Kaorun. Don’t pay any mind to what others say. Just believe in Hijiri’s words, that you are her family.”

Saying so, Elni laughed gently.

Kaorun seemed troubled, but looking at me, she asked worried.

“…You will also come with me, s.h.i.+n.o.bu-sama?”

The answer was obvious.

“Yeah, I’ll.”

I replied with a big nod.

I believed that Kaorun should cast away her parents, just like they had abandoned her. There was no need to stay attached to them forever. When those who hurt Kaorun are her parents, then I would protect her from them.

Determined like that, I once again patted Kaorun’s head.

Probably because the fireworks had ended, the riverbed had turned quietly, as if the earlier crowd had never been there.

I had called Nazuna on her cell phone and arranged that we regroup at the shrine. Elni, Kaorun and I walked towards the shrine without saying anything.

Amidst that, Elni broke the ice.

“…Kaorun, do you still remember where your parents’ house is? If you don’t, should I look into it?”

“Look into it, you can actually do that?”

When I interjected, Elni puffed her chest proudly.

“I’m a G.o.ddess after all. I have a few friends amongst the exorcists. I think, I’ll know about it soon enough.”

“…You are unexpected resourceful.”

I was somewhat surprised. Kaorun smiled softly and said.

“It is alright, Elni-sama. I still remember the location. Because it is close here.”

“I see. Then how about dropping by tomorrow or so?”

“…Tomorrow, you say?”

On Elni’s words, Kaorun showed a bewildered expression.

“I believe that to be a bit too sudden…”

“Make hay while the sun s.h.i.+nes, right? If it’s close by, you better go quickly. You’ll only suffer when you delay it.”

“…You, are right. I understand.”

Kaorun nodded, but her expression was gloomy and she continued to walk once again wordless.

There I exchange a look with Elni and we both reached our hands out for Kaorun. I grabbed Kaorun’s right hand while Elni took the left.

Kaorun showed a slightly surprised expression, but returned the squeeze of hands with a smile. So we three headed for the other girls at the shrine while holdings hands.

…At night, I went out into the garden of the holiday house and called Hijiri.

After a long ringing, Hijiri picked up the call.

“Hijiri? Where are you right now?”

“…I’m at Tachibana-san’s house now. My father is here, too.”

“That your father is there means… something happened?”

Hijiri’s powerless voice made me worry.

When I asked worried, Hijiri answered quietly.

“I heard about Kaoru-san’s father from my father and Tachibana-san. And my father said that Kaoru-san doesn’t have to attend the special training if she doesn’t want to. But after hearing the story about her father…I became scared.”

“Scared?”

“…I didn’t really know anything. So I became scared that Kaoru-san might come to hate me once she knows the truth.”

Hijiri’s voice trembled.

So I said a “Don’t worry” with a somewhat loud voice and continued.

“Whatever it is, Kaorun won’t hate you for it. Everyone can tell on a glance that she loves you. So hurry up and come back.”

I said so to rea.s.sure her, but Hijiri didn’t reply, it was just an awkward silence.

There I opened my mouth to change the topic.

“Tomorrow, we’re going to visit Kaorun’s parents.”

The moment I said that, I could hear a gasp through the phone.

“…Kaoru-san brought that up?”

“No, Elni suggested it. Kaorun seemed to be hesitant, but decided to go anyway. I’ll tag along, so if you like, you also—”

“I can’t go.”

Hijiri cut into my words with a small voice. She added a “…Sorry”.

“What’s wrong?”

I asked with a firm tone, but Hijiri wouldn’t answer me.

There I made a small sigh.

“Hijiri, I have a favour to ask.”

I said.

“Kaorun might come back hurt after meeting her parents. Therefore, I want you to tell her then that she’s your family.”

“…I wonder if Kaoru-san will accept that.”

“Of course. That’s what Kaorun wants.”

I declared so with conviction.

“…Thanks, s.h.i.+n.o.bu-kun. Can I entrust Kaoru-san to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Replying in a soft tone, I ended the call with Hijiri.

After that I didn’t feel like going back to the house and sleep, so I absent-minded looked up to the night sky.

“s.h.i.+n.o.bu-san?”

I was then called out from behind.

I turned around and there stood Luna.

“What’s up?”

“Well, just…”

Luna smiled vaguely and stood next to me. She slowly opened her mouth.

“Just now, I heard from Elni-chan. That you are going with Kaoru-san to meet her parents tomorrow…”

“…I see. Elni told you everything.”

“No, she did not tell me anything. But I could tell by watching Kaoru-san that something had happened. And that she is worried about meeting her parents. …But even though I noticed that, I… ended up feeling jealous.”

Jealous.

A faint pain ran through my chest on that word.

Luna didn’t know her parents. Abandoned by her mother…she had no one to fawn over.

“…Have you ever felt like seeing your mother?”

When I asked her by gently resting my hand on her head, Luna nodded small.

“Ever since I was small, I have always been wondering how my mother looks like, what her voice is like or how she smiles. And I believed that she was a gentle, smiling person, that she had a reason for abandoning me.”

While saying so, Luna forced herself to smile.