Part 15 (1/2)
”She said? Why would you believe anything that she had to say?” Rusty demanded.
”Because I love your father, and I'd like to think that I knew what kind of man he was. Because he was getting to know his son and trying to figure out how to tell us about a child who had no choice in the matter about being born. Because if you had been that boy, I'd have hoped for-no, I'd have expected-the same thing of him.” Sally sank down into the couch.
Blake was amped up on adrenaline. His eyes darted from mother to son to the front door. He wanted nothing more than to leave them to deal with their issues, but was that appropriate? He wished Danica were there to help him figure it out, but that option was no longer viable. Danica. Just the thought of her brought back the taste of their kiss, the feel of her in his arms. If he ever wanted to have a shot with Danica, he had to learn to pull up his big-boy boots and navigate uncomfortable situations. He took a deep breath and forged forward on his own.
”Rusty, I never knew about her or the boy,” Blake began.
”Chase,” Sally said.
Rusty glared at her.
”He has a name, Rusty, and as hard as it is, he's your half brother. We need to get used to that,” Sally said with a pinched look, like the words tasted acidic.
”Like h.e.l.l,” Rusty spat.
”There's plenty of time for you two to deal with all of that,” Blake said. ”But before I go, Rusty, you need to know that I never knew about any of it. Your dad did nothing but rave about you and your mom. I had no idea that he was spending time with anyone other than the two of you.” He started for the door, then turned back, thinking of Danica's wisdom once again. ”Listen, this isn't about me. It's about your family, and I get that, but this guy who you want to be angry at, he's not the guy I knew. I don't think I've ever met a guy who believed in family more than Dave.” Blake realized that there was no way Dave would have taken his own life. He had even more to live for than Blake had imagined. Blake ran his hand through his hair, distracting himself from the guilt that was gnawing at the muscles in his neck for even considering that Dave could take his own life-and worse, that Dave had been going through so much heartache and turmoil but didn't feel he could confide in Blake. He made eye contact with Sally, once again sure that changing his behavior, becoming a better friend and man, was the most important thing he would ever do. He was beginning to understand how putting others first would change everything for the better. ”If you need me, just call.”
On the way to his car, Blake knew he had already made a decision about Danica, and there was no way in h.e.l.l he was going to walk away like a weak boy who had done something wrong. For the first time in his life, he knew he was making the only right choice there was.
Chapter Twenty-Five.
It had been weeks since Danica had seen Blake, and as she sat across from Belinda, with her toned-down makeup and less-hookeresque jeans, Danica couldn't help but wonder if Blake had gone back to his player ways.
”Are you listening to anything I'm saying?” Belinda asked.
”Yes, of course. You said you were thinking about taking a writing cla.s.s.” Danica heard the disinterest in her own voice, and it turned her stomach. She needed to pull her s.h.i.+t together. Maybe giving up her career was a good move. Her empathy was failing her, and all she could think about was Blake-not the right thoughts for a therapist to have.
”Yeah,” Belinda said in between gum smacks. ”I think I have a story to tell. You know, misunderstood woman acts out, then realizes there are other ways to get attention. Who knows. I could be the next E. L. James.”
Let's hope not. Danica had picked up James's book at the bookstore, and she'd flinched with embarra.s.sment when a woman at the bookstore saw her reading it. She hoped that if Belinda wanted to be a writer, she wouldn't write something that might be embarra.s.sing for readers to be seen with. h.e.l.l, more power to her if she can write something that sells. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Danica realized that she'd been thinking that a lot lately. ”Maybe so. I think it's a great goal.”
”You think I can do it?” Belinda asked.
”I have faith that you can do anything you try to do.” After seeing the transitions in Belinda's life, she had even more faith in her.
”Then why are you so glum about it?”
”Am I? I'm sorry. I'm just a little under the weather lately,” Danica lied.
”No, you're not. I'd recognize this a mile away. You're b.u.mmed over some guy.” She laughed. ”You went from dressing all professional, to dressing more fun, and now you're back to Little Repressed Annie again.” She popped a bubble. ”I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't say that.”
Caught. ”You're...perceptive. But I'm fine, really. And I do think you should write. Writing is very cathartic.” Maybe I should write.
”Hang in there,” Belinda said as she gathered her coat and stood to leave. ”In my experience, no guy is worth feeling bad about.” She turned and faced Danica with a wide smile across her muted-red lips. ”You taught me that.” She winked and headed for the door. ”See you next week,” she called over her shoulder.
The more Danica saw Belinda, the more she liked her, and the more she liked her, the more she saw pieces of her sister in the things she did. It had been weeks since she'd seen Kaylie. She reached for the phone and dialed her number.
”h.e.l.lo?” Kaylie sounded as if she'd just woken up.
”Hey, you okay?”
”Yeah, just tired.”
”Out partying until four in the morning again?” Danica teased.
”No. In fact, I was in bed by ten.”
Of course. ”Up fooling around till four?”
Kaylie sighed. ”What's up, Dan? I've got a gig tonight and need to start getting ready.”
She'd almost forgotten that it was Friday. ”I miss you. Meet me for lunch tomorrow?”
”Sure, and Camille's wedding is Sunday, so we'll see each other then, too.”
The last thing Danica wanted was to go to the wedding and see Blake. She'd kept herself busy enough that she hadn't pined over him since they'd kissed. At least not too much. She had no idea what to expect of her crazy heart when she came face-to-face with him all dolled up in a tuxedo. Everyone looks handsome in a tuxedo. c.r.a.p. ”Yup. Felby's, noon?”
”Great, see you then.”
Danica sorted through her files for the coming week, setting a stack to take home and review and another stack to follow up with the clients who were due a phone call. When the phone on her desk rang, she glanced at the clock. It was after five o'clock. Normally, she'd pick up the phone, but she was trying to change that neurotic part of herself, wasn't she? Trying to reclaim some sort of a personal life. She stared at the phone, trying to decide if the pull she felt toward just letting it go to voice mail was another hint that she should think about opening the youth center.
The phone rang on.
The h.e.l.l with that. Who was she kidding? She had no personal life, and even if she did decide to open the youth center, she still had to be present for her clients until the day she closed her office doors permanently. She reached for the phone. ”h.e.l.lo?”
”Danica?”
Her heart skipped a beat. Blake. ”Um, yeah. Hi.”
”Hi, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you're busy.”
Danica listened with her voice caught in her throat.
”I really hate the way things ended, and I'm sorry. Listen, do you think we could meet somewhere and talk?” Before she could answer, he added, ”No funny stuff. I promise. I can even come to your office. I just don't feel right about...Well, do you have time?”
Danica quickly scanned her office, searching for an answer that wasn't there. If she met him, she'd be forced to confront her inability to keep work and her own desires separate-even if only this once, with just this one client. It was an admission that she wasn't sure she could face. Facing the truth would definitely mean giving up her career.
”I understand if you don't want to. I mean, it's not like you owe it to me or anything. In fact, I might be asking only so I can clear my own conscience.”
What?
”s.h.i.+t, that didn't come out right. That's not what I meant at all. Look, I can't stop thinking about you. When Monday came around, I sat at my desk and stared into s.p.a.ce, wondering what we would have talked about, and I realized that it was you I missed talking to, not just the advice you gave me, but you.”
”Okay.” What are you doing? She bit her lower lip and turned to look out the window.
”Okay?”