Part 11 (1/2)
Oh G.o.d. It's now or never. ”Yes.” Chicken. I should have told him.
”Well, she and I...we were talking.” He looked down, then sheepishly up at Danica. ”Flirting, we were flirting.” He blushed. ”This is really hard for me, talking about this, but it's important. Especially if I'm going to be a good influence on Rusty.”
”It's okay. Take your time. I'm glad you're thinking of Rusty. That's nice.”
”Okay, well, I was ready to go home with her, and I mean ready.” The way he said ready made Danica swallow hard. She envisioned him standing with a huge erection. She felt a flush run up her neck and cleared her throat to distract her own thoughts.
”Go on.”
”I didn't do it. I didn't go home with her.” He searched her eyes again, and this time Danica smiled. ”But you probably already knew that.”
Danica didn't confirm or deny his statement. ”How did that feel?” The term cold shower came to mind.
”Good, actually. She's beautiful, but she would have been a one-night stand, and not that I'm looking for a relations.h.i.+p, but I am trying not to be that guy anymore. So, well...you know your sister is very attractive.”
Ouch. I know it all too well.
”I was really proud of myself.”
”Yes, she is.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. ”That's a really positive step, Blake. I'm proud of you.” Danica blinked away her fear, gathered courage like a blanket around her.
”Why didn't you tell me she was your sister?” he asked.
”There wasn't a need. When we met, you weren't my client. It would have seemed inappropriate for me to bring it up out of the blue, but now, well, I'm glad you know.” She watched him process the information.
A smile crept across his lips. ”Good thing I came to my senses before taking her home.”
”Blake, you can date anyone you'd like. We're therapist and client, and it's none of my business who you spend time with.” Even if the little, green-eyed monster chases me in circles.
”Of course, right.”
They looked at each other, each waiting for the other to break the silence. Danica felt the pulse of their hearts in the s.p.a.ce between them. She reached for the notebook, the pen, anything to carry her out of the trance of the energy emanating from Blake's body.
”Okay, well, what would you like to talk about with regard to...all of that?” she asked.
”Just that I'd done it, and it wasn't as difficult as I'd imagined it might be. But it made me realize that maybe I'm a pretty lonely guy after all. I never would have guessed it, but when I went home that night, my condo was too quiet. I don't spend much time at home-well, I never used to-and lately, when I'm there, I find myself thinking of my father and what he must have felt like without my mom for all those years. I think he was lonely, even though he was busy and he had me.”
”You know, being alone doesn't have to equate to being lonely, although it's fine if it does. Maybe you should spend time getting to know yourself a little better. You're a skier and a business owner, but what else?” She glanced at the clock. ”In fact, let's use this for our next session. I'm going to give you homework.”
Blake lifted his right eyebrow.
”Not an essay, just a list. If you could come up with four things that define you, I think it would help us through this.”
”Four things.” Blake nodded, thinking. ”Okay, sure. And, there's just one thing I want to leave you with.”
Danica stood, ”Yes?”
Blake stood, just inches from her, his chest within touching distance. He looked down at her, and the s.p.a.ce between them once again filled with desire. She saw it in his smoldering, dark eyes, felt it coming off him in waves. I'm losing it. Danica took a step past him toward the door.
”I'm beginning to wonder if Dave committed suicide.” Blake grabbed his coat and followed Danica. He clenched his thick parka within both fists. That hopeful, help-me look returned to his eyes.
”That's a heavy one,” Danica said quietly. ”Work on your list, and let's talk about that next time.”
Blake walked out of her office and turned back as she was closing the door. ”I almost forgot to tell you. Jeffrey asked me to be in the wedding. Old college buds and all. So, will I see you next weekend at the pre-wedding hurrah?”
College buds? Danica made a mental note to work with him to explore his friends.h.i.+p with Jeffrey. Maybe Blake wasn't as inept at social and emotional situations as he thought he was. Danica had forgotten all about the pre-wedding party, and now he'd be there, too. How would she pull that off? She'd have to remain sober, that was for sure. ”Yup.”
Chapter Twenty-One.
Blake wondered if everyone experienced life-altering crossroads, or if he was the only one who felt swept away with the avalanche of chaos in his life. He stepped onto the sidewalk, the icy air stinging his cheeks. Was he hallucinating, or had there been some sort of underlying romantic current running between him and Danica? He swore he saw want in her eyes. This celibacy routine must be affecting his senses or something. He zipped his coat and headed for his car.
The main road to AcroSki was backed up, so he took the back roads. When he came to the stop sign at the corner of Cemetery Drive and Nauget Street, he turned right instead of left. He didn't think about where he was going. He didn't intentionally head for Dave's grave. It was as if the car had a mind of its own and he was along for the ride.
He parked in the cemetery lot, grabbed a scarf from the backseat, and wrapped it around his neck, covering his nose from the bitter air. He stepped from the car and stood in the wind, staring in the direction of Dave's grave. There were three cars in the parking lot, though Blake saw no other people on the cemetery grounds. He didn't know what he was going to do when he got there, but he was drawn toward Dave's grave. He shouldered the wind, and a few moments later, he was standing above the freshly tilled earth. With his hands buried deep in his coat pockets, he stared at the rich, brown soil, a sharp contrast to the fresh, snowy carpet around the gravesite.
Blake looked up at the sky. ”Dave? Was I a good friend? Was it my life that made you reach outside of your marriage, because if it was, buddy, I'm sorry. It's not so great.” He heard the footsteps before she appeared beside him. He expected to find Sally, but instead was faced with the woman from the back of the church.
”Hi,” she said softly.
”h.e.l.lo,” Blake said, and shot his eyes back to the ground, feeling awkward in her presence. What if Sally came by and saw them? Would she think he'd been lying and that he'd known about her the whole time?
”Dave was a good man,” she said.
Blake nodded, unsure how good of a man Dave had really been. ”Were you a friend?” Blake couldn't help it. He wanted to know if she'd cover up the affair.
She faced him, her wavy, blond hair tucked beneath a red, knit hat. Her brown eyes were painfully small. She wore red lipstick that matched the bright shade of her hat, and her long, gray, fitted coat hung almost to her knees. She looked like one of those little porcelain dolls that had their makeup painted on. She crossed her hands over her chest, warding off the wind. ”Yes. You're Blake, right?”
Surprised, he said, ”Mm-hmm. Do I know you?”
She turned away again. ”No, I suppose you wouldn't.” She thrust her hands in her pockets.
Blake glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was a pet.i.te woman, no taller than his chest. ”How did you know Dave?” he asked.
She kicked her rubber boot at a mound of wayward dirt. ”We helped each other with things.”
”Things?” He was digging himself deeper into a hole he wasn't sure he wanted to be in, but he needed to understand what went on between them, and why Dave would ruin his family for this woman.
”I knew Dave when we were teenagers, and we hadn't seen each other for years, until I moved back here. Back home. We were...friends.”
Blake felt the heat of anger despite the brisk air. He turned and faced her. ”Friends?” You're not getting off that easy. ”How is it that you know who I am, but I have no idea who you are?”
”You're Dave's business partner,” she said, making no effort to avoid his confrontational gaze. ”Dave told me all about you.” She looked up at the sky, as if searching for an answer. ”Dave and I were...he was...I have a seventeen-year-old son.” She looked into Blake's eyes, and he saw the answer.