Part 22 (2/2)
”d.a.m.n it, Mick, you've got a lot of people worried about you.”
”Sorry, Ranson, places to go, people to see.” I took a step, but she grabbed my arm.
”Danny, Cordelia, and I have a standing agreement to call each other if any of us should hear from you.”
”Well, say hi for me and tell them that I'm fine.”
She shook her head, not letting go of my arm. ”We went searching for you on Sunday. Danny used her keys to get into your apartment.”
”I'm glad it was you. I thought my cat was becoming alcoholic.
There was a lot of liquor gone for a little kitty body to consume.”
”Just leave old Micky tomcat alone. She'll come back when she feels like it. Is that it?”
”Essentially.”
”Even if you end up floating in the river?”
”I know the risks. I'm a big girl.”
* 153 *
”What about the people who care about you?” Ranson demanded.
”Or do we not matter?” I shrugged. Ranson held on to my arm. ”You've got to grow up sometime,” she finished.
”Will you leave me the f.u.c.k alone?” I exploded. ”I'm not out to hurt anyone or bother anyone. If I did, tough. And I'll grow up when I feel like it.”
”It's not fair, is it, Micky, to get kicked out of childhood when you're only ten?”
”I don't know what you're talking about.”
”Bulls.h.i.+t. The most unfair part is that once you're out, you can never go back. You can spend your whole life trying.”
”Is that what you think I'm doing?”
”You tell me,” Ranson answered.
”Well, thanks, Sergeant Freud. How much do I owe you for your therapeutic insights?” I jerked my arm away from her and started walking. She caught up and spun me around to face her.
”You could have had me. You had Danny. But you walked away.
How many others? You got hurt bad and hurt young, so that excuses everything, doesn't it? If we get too close and get burned, it's not your fault, is it, because-”
”Stop it. Just stop it,” I yelled at her. ”I don't want anything from you.”
”No, you don't. And G.o.d help anyone who wants anything from you, because they'll never get it. What'd you do, stop feeling when you were ten?”
”No. Leave me alone,” I replied. I tried to turn away from her, but she had her hands on my shoulders and wouldn't let me. I saw a few tourists heading rapidly away from us. I turned my head to the river, so I wouldn't have to face Ranson's piercing gray eyes.
”I tried for a while...things didn't work out that way,” I finished in a whisper. I couldn't say anything more. I stared at the s.h.i.+ps on the river, dull and bleak under the gray sky.
Ranson finally broke the moment. She took me by the arm, saying, ”Come on. I'll walk you home.”
We walked in silence back to my apartment. Ranson came up the stairs with me.
”Do you want me to stay?” she asked.
* 154 *
”No, I think I need to be alone. You need to get back to work anyway.”
”True. I'll call you later. Will you answer the phone?”
”I'll try. Old habits, you know.”
”Try hard,” she answered.
”Okay.”
She turned to go.
”Oh, and Joanne?” I said. ”Tell Danny and...and...”
”Cordelia.”
”Yeah, her. Tell them I'm okay, just busy in the never-ending search for truth, beauty, and the American way.”
Ranson walked back to me and kissed me on the lips. She held it for a moment, then turned and left.
* 155 *
CHAPTER 17.
Ranson called me early in the day, but it was strictly business.
She outlined the deal she was working on for Frankie. I told her I would get in touch with him and get back to her.
I had to wait a couple of hours before I called Torbin. He worked late and it was bad enough saddling him with naive young men just coming out; I didn't need to interrupt his beauty sleep, too. I called from a pay phone, just in case.
Frankie was beginning to sound like Torbin, which I took as a good sign. He agreed to everything, except turning himself in at the police station. That he absolutely refused to do. ”No, no, no,” he said. ”They get people killed in jail all the time. Their informant is well connected and knows everything they need to know. It has to be someplace public and well populated with law officers of all kinds, everywhere. I'm sorry to be a pain, but it's my life.”
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