Part 6 (1/2)

I shake my head as if it's nothing and swallow hard. ”Don't worry about it.”

He continues quietly, desperate to explain, ”It's just that it's been a long time since I've had a woman touch me. And I know it's f.u.c.ked, but you're a woman. And you're beautiful. And it's hard-”

I make a chocking sound and bite my tongue to stop myself from bursting into laughter.

I spot his grin and he cringes. ”I meant it's difficult to not react. I'm sorry. Really.”

Still trying to avoid his gaze, I stare into his dewy chest and reply breathily, ”I understand.” Walking backward, I tell him, ”I'll just get you some spare clothes. If you feel weak or tired, sit on the edge of the tub.”

I walk out of the bathroom to find Bob leaning against the wall dressed only in his pajama pants, hair dishevelled, just woken.

My heart stops.

Uh oh.

But then he smiles. A proud smile. Gripping the back of my neck, he pulls me in and kisses my forehead. My eyes close and my heart constricts from the show of emotion. ”Good morning.”

With his lips against me, he mumbles, ”You're a good girl, Cat.”

And with that, he turns and walks away, leaving me feeling warm and happy, and unusually Christian-like.

Chapter Nine.

”How many times must I tell you to watch what you say? We have guests,” Ari hisses heatedly.

Frankie rolls her eyes. ”Okay, Ms Partyp.o.o.per. Chill out, will you? No one's even in here.”

The two would-be nuns, totally dressed the part, keep me company while I bake. They've already spotted the bags under my eyes and made obnoxious comments that people who care about you just do. I decide to tell them about my little night adventure with Xavier.

Moving around the kitchen, gathering ingredients from here and there, I try to work it in. ”How about cranberry white choc m.u.f.fins today? You think Tomas will eat them? I hope he does. You know, maybe I should wait for him to get up. He might like to help me cook. I should clean the workbench. Speaking of cleaning, I helped Xavier bathe this morning around five a.m. Do you think he'd like cranberry white choc m.u.f.fins?”

When neither of them says anything, I peek up to find them both gaping at me.

My cheeks begin a slow burn. ”Well?”

Frankie blinks then chuckles, ”You just threw that in there, huh? Like we wouldn't notice?”

My shoulders slump. I look up, sheepishly. ”I was kind of hoping. Yeah.”

Ari smiles softly, standing gracefully behind the counter. ”What has happened to your gung-ho attack on the boy?”

Honesty is best with these two. I tip flour into a bowl, add b.u.t.ter and begin to crumble it together with my fingertips. ”If it makes you feel any better, I punched him too.”

Frankie cackles. ”What the h.e.l.l did you get up to last night? I should change your codename to Night Chaos.”

I look to Frankie and put on the stupidest laugh I can muster. I mutter sarcastically, ”You're, like, so funny.”

Ari prompts, ”Well?”

I sigh, ”I actually went to his room to yell at him. I told him in not so many words that he was a horrible person and an even worse brother. And you know what he told me?” They look at me intently. ”That everything he's doing, he does for Tomas. Because he loves him.” I use my upper arm to scratch my chin. ”I guess I just realised that we have a common interest is all. And if he's really doing what he's doing for Tomas, then he's okay with me. I'll help him. I want to help him.”

Frankie and Ari both smile my way.

Someone clears their throat. Xavier shuffles into the kitchen looking pale, body trembling. His cheeks look sunken. Probably more so because he's shaved. His left hand clutches his right hand. ”A little help?”

Red seeps through his fingers. My face falls.

Frankie and Ari rush forward. A cacophony of conversation begins.

”What happened?”

”What have you done, my boy?”

”Oh, Xavier. Why?” Frankie sighs while getting the paper towels off the counter.

I stand there with my hands in my crumble. When Ari moves to get the first aid kit, I see it.

He's cut himself. No. Not cut himself. But cut himself. Purposely. Deep gouges made with only G.o.d knows what line his inner arm. He looks up at me. Through me.

My heart sinks.

Frankie and Ari attend to him as he and I stare at each other. His eyes communicate with me. I hear his voice in my head. ”Judge me. I dare you.”

My eyes speak back to him. ”I'm not judging you. Just trying to understand you.”

Hands caked with batter, I stand there helpless, watching the two women fawn over him. The more I stand there, the more I think. My heart begins to pound and suddenly, anger courses through me. Before I can stop myself, my lip curls. ”You'd better hope to G.o.d you better yourself, Xavier.” My eyes burn into his. I grit my teeth and vow, ”Because I swear to you, if you don't get your s.h.i.+t together, I'll take Tomas from you myself.”

His body stiffens. His eyes blaze.

It all happens so fast.

Pus.h.i.+ng Frankie and Ari aside with as much force as he can muster, he rushes over to me. It's such a shock that I forget to protect myself, because I'm sure I won't need to. Eyes wide, I feel his body crash into mine with such force that I'm knocked on my a.s.s, my mixing bowl overturned, a resounding boom echoing through the walls of the room.

He roars down at me, ”I f.u.c.king dare you, b.i.t.c.h. I will f.u.c.king kill you.” He points a finger in warning, panting, and repeats slowly, ”I will f.u.c.king kill you.”

It's in this moment I realise he would do it. I should have never underestimated this man.

Arms come around his middle and chest, he's pulled back in complete silence, and for the first time in years, I look at Ari and Frankie to see disappointment.

Disappointment aimed at me.

As they drag him away, he doesn't take his eyes off me. He looks crazed. He doesn't belong here. He belongs somewhere he would be offered the right kind of help.