Part 23 (1/2)
”What happened to Anna wasn't your fault,” I try to soothe her.
I don't like Dee Dee. I don't approve of the choices she's made or the things she's allowed Casey to be exposed to, but she's human and she's hurting. She didn't do this. She had no hand in helping do what he did to her. Her fault only lies with Casey.
Releasing a sob, her hand reaches to her forehead while she covers her eyes in shame. ”I knew he was...” Her breath hitches before she continues. ”I knew he was up to something. With Hoss gone and his hate for Anna...” She's vocally unable to keep going with her explanation, but her sadness says enough. ”That stupid poker game. Hangar can't handle losing.”
Reaching out and resting my hand on her forearm, I continue to help her with her guilt. ”Dee Dee, look at me.” When she doesn't, I increase my leveling tone and repeat, ”Look at me.”
As her hand drops, her crying eyes turn in my direction and she takes in a ragged breath. ”I may as well have done that to Anna myself.”
”Did you help him get her down there?”
”No.”
”Did you help him hurt her?”
”No, but...”
”Did you try to stop him? Talk to him before it started?
”Yes, but...”
”Not on you,” I tell her with honesty.
”Where are they?”
”Anna's waiting for Viktor. She's being cared for. And I don't know where Hangar is.”
Moving her head to the direction of the ceiling, her face is deadpan, wiped of all emotion, her voice haunting. ”Viktor will kill Hangar for this.”
”He would deserve it.”
Nodding in agreement, she whispers, ”He would.”
”Dee Dee.” I try to be careful during my address, because I don't know her anymore. I don't know with any degree of certainty what she's seen or been exposed to in this life. ”What did he do to you?”
”What?” she asks, as if not understanding.
”Before he took Anna...” My eyes move the expanse of her small frame and I stop them mid-center, near her waist. ”You were bleeding when you stopped me and were looking for Cilas.”
”I'm fine.”
”You're not.”
”Max, I'm so sorry,” she tells me again.
Lifting my hand to keep her from talking, I reiterate, ”This isn't on you.”
”I'm not just talking about Anna or Hangar. I'm sorry for Casey, too.”
”I've got Casey,” I a.s.sure her. ”She's not going anywhere.”
A breath of her relief falls between us. She starts to sit up, but a pained expression envelops her face. Using my hand at her waist to keep her still, she freezes mid-motion and falls back down.
”I'm goin' to have someone come look at you.”
”Thank you.” For the first time in all these years that have pa.s.sed, I sense her sincerity is genuine.
As I stand, I keep my eyes on her, ensuring she does what I've told her. Once I'm convinced she won't move, I put the chair back in place under the desk and move to shut off the light.
”Leave it on,” she calls out from the bed. As I grab the handle to the door, she speaks again. ”If I could do this all over again, I want you to know I wouldn't be here.”
”I know. There's still time to fix what's been broken.”
Her eyes turn to her focal point back on the ceiling. Her voice full of pain, and her body once again shaking, she expresses, ”Some things are so broken they can never be fixed. Please give my love to Emma and tell her to take care of Casey the way I never did.”
”Dee Dee,” I whisper, loud enough I know she can hear me. I think about what else to say, but come up with nothing.
As I reach the common room, I find Cilas is the only one around. He's sitting at the bar, beer in hand, staring into the mirror, which hangs on the other side. He has scratches on his face and some dried blood on his arm. Other than that, he's untouched.
”Ci?” I call out and start to walk toward him. He doesn't move his head to look at me. ”Got another one of those?” I ask, already knowing this will be yet another one-way conversation with the man I've now come to know as a gentle giant.
He nods towards the bar, indicating I'm to help myself. I do as he instructed and reach under to grab a beer. I adjust my body in front of him and rest my forearms on top of the bar. The sun has started to come up and the particles of dust dance in its rays. The room is filthy, so it's no surprise.
”Dee Dee will be fine,” I start to voice my one-sided conversation.
Cilas' dark eyes lift to mine. They remain expressionless. The only way to know he's affected by seeing Anna the way she was is the constant ticking of his jaw. His temples protrude with each grind of his teeth.
I still haven't seen Viktor, so I'm unsure if he knows what's happened. ”Any word about Anna? Is Viktor here?”
He nods then looks down and stares at his nearly empty beer bottle.
”Where's Hangar?” I ask, but once I do, I start to brace. Cilas' eyes narrow, and the knuckles on the hand holding the beer bottle turn white from the grasp he's using to hold it.
Thinking it best to leave him be, I give him notice. ”Finish your beer. I'm gonna see how Anna is.”
Turning his head to the second hall off the common area, the one opposite of Casey, he points. I follow his hand and find the closed door behind the bar. I've seen Anna coming in and out of it before, but at the time thought nothing of it.
”Thank you,” I tell him, taking a quick drink. ”For helping with Dee Dee and Anna.” My eyes scan the room for a clock and I find the only one which works telling me it's now nearly six in the morning.
I'm exhausted.
Before walking out and leaving him in his place, I stop and turn around. I wait a beat for his attention before expressing my last thought, whether he wants to hear it or not. ”And thank you for taking care of Casey.”
I realize I'm walking on unsafe ground, since I've witnessed time and time again his loyalty to Viktor and Hoss, but in the tragic circ.u.mstance we've found ourselves in tonight, I don't hesitate to tell him further, ”This is no place for a child her age and we both know it.”
Cilas takes a pull from his beer, tears his eyes from mine, and goes back to the same position I found him in before walking in here.