Part 8 (2/2)

”Okay.” I watched as Jakob walked over to his nightstand and opened the top drawer and pulled out a leather-bound notepad. He flicked through the filled pages and then walked back toward me.

”'Silence. Silence is what I feel when I see him now. No birds are chirping. No suns.h.i.+ne is burning. No rain is pouring. The world is still. And I lay awake in all my glory. Waiting. Waiting for him to come back to me. Not even my heartbeat makes a sound. My eyes don't blink. I can't miss the second when he comes back to me. The second he is mine. The second that the silence stops. The silence is deafening.'” He closed the journal and looked up at me. ”I read this, and I think of my mother. I think of her crying late at night when she thought I was asleep. I think of her sitting at the kitchen table every night writing, and I wonder how long she waited. How long she hoped. How long her heart ached . . . for him. I read this, and my hatred for Jeremiah Bradley grows. He's nothing to me but a blood donor.”

”That's so sad.” I put a hand on his arm. ”How can one man cause so much pain?”

”She said he was kind.” He looked at me thoughtfully and shook his head in disbelief. ”She said he was the kindest man in the world.”

”Jeremiah?” I looked at him in shock. ”I'd never have thought Jeremiah Bradley was a kind man.”

”Yeah, me either, but I can remember her clearly telling me. She told me that the man she loved was her first friend. The first person who was truly kind to her. He didn't care that she was poor or that she worked in a cafeteria. He was the first man to ever look her in the eyes and ask her if she'd had a good day. She said he was the first man who had seen her as a person.” His voice broke. ”And I hate Jeremiah for being that person. I hate him for making her fall in love with him. I hate him for ruining her life. I hate him for fooling her. He didn't love her. He just used her.” Jakob's voice was angry, and he looked away from me. ”How could she love him? How could she have spent so many years heartbroken?”

”I'm sorry.” I stroked the side of his face. ”I'm so sorry, Jakob.”

”She wrote a poem about her heartbreak,” he said. ”I think it was that poem that really made me hate your parents, your mother especially.”

”I see.” I looked down, not sure what to say. I could empathize with him. I felt for his mother as well, but I didn't know how to accept his hatred of my mother. I didn't even know how to feel myself. How could my mother have cheated with Jeremiah Bradley? I didn't know why she would have done that to my father.

”I'm sorry.” He sighed. ”I shouldn't have said that. I don't blame them, Bianca. Not anymore. I don't know what happened, but I don't blame them.”

”Are we ever going to get over this, Jakob?” I sighed.

”Bianca, there's something I want to say to you.” Jakob's face was serious, and my stomach lurched. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. What was he going to say? How was he going to break my heart?

”Go on, then.” I turned away from him, unable to look in his eyes as I prepared for the worst. I wasn't even sure if I'd have a heart after all of this. How many times could it be broken and heal itself again? My father and Rosie had pushed me to the limits, but Jakob had the power to stop my heart from beating ever again.

”I know you might find this hard to believe,” he said softly. ”You matter to me more than anything in the world. Your love, your heart, your safety, your happiness is what I live for now. My mother was my whole world, and her memory has guided me all these years, but all that is secondary to what I feel for you. My mother will always live on in my heart, but she's not the one guiding my life anymore. She's not the one I think of late at night.” He grabbed my hands and squeezed. ”You're my number one priority, Bianca, and I don't care what happened in the past. I don't care what happened with our parents. Whatever we find out next, it won't change anything. It won't stop how much I love you.”

”I just don't know why my mother would have-”

”Stop.” He put his fingers against my lips. ”We don't know what happened. Until we know, let's not guess.”

”If I see your father at the ball, I'm going to . . .” My voice trailed off, and I sighed. ”I don't know what I'm going to do.”

”Have you spoken to Blake?”

”He said he's going to come over so we can all chat before we leave.” I held up my black dress with the delicate black feathers running down the side to match my mask. ”Do you think this is okay? Will I look like the Black Swan?”

”It's s.e.xy.” He stared at the dress in my hand and touched the fabric lightly. I glanced up at him in his suit and my stomach flipped at the s.e.xiness he exuded. ”Soft and silky with a high slit, what are you thinking will happen at the ball, Ms. Swan?”

”What do you mean, Louis the Fourteenth?” I teased him as I ran my fingers down his long regal jacket. Jakob had agreed to try on our outfits early to check the fit, so that on the night of the ball, we weren't rus.h.i.+ng around to fix anything. And if it meant I got to see him in his s.e.xy king getup, so much the better.

”I mean are you hoping to get lucky while we dance the night away?”

”Jakob, tonight we can have fun.” I poked him in the chest. ”But on the night of the ball, we have to be serious. That means we will be focused. There will be no getting lucky while we are working. We have to have all of our wits about us and concentrate.”

”That doesn't mean we can't have some fun as well.” He grabbed my fingers and brought them down his chest to his crotch, so that I could feel his hardness pulsating beneath my fingers.

”What fun do you think we're going to have?” I said breathlessly.

”Don't wear any panties, Sharon Stone, and you'll find out.”

”You're never going to forget that, are you?”

”You got that right. Even when we're old and gray with grandkids, I'll be joking around about how I married the second coming of Sharon Stone. No pun intended.”

”You better not.” I laughed, but my insides warmed as he talked about us with grandkids.

”You owe me.” He grinned. ”Wear no panties to dinner tonight, then I won't expect that on the night of the ball.”

”I guess you'll see what I decide when we get to the restaurant,” I said, licking my lips slowly.

”You tease.” He grinned as he started to take off his costume. ”Thank G.o.d I don't have to wear this getup every day.”

”Hmmm,” I said as I stared at his bare chest and grinned. I walked over and ran my fingers down his abs. ”What time is our reservation again? There's something we need to do before we go,” I whispered as I dropped to my knees and started to unb.u.t.ton his Louis XIV breeches. Jakob groaned as I pulled the pants down and I grinned up at him, feeling a surge of power before I took him into my mouth. The night of the ball would be serious, but that didn't mean we couldn't have fun tonight.

seven.

Nicholas London Decades Ago As much as things change, they stay the same. Love, jealousy, and hate all make the world go round.

”I'm going up to see Jeremiah,” I told Andy, the doorman. He nodded and waved me toward the elevators without signing me in. He always let me go up without signing in, even though the protocol of the building required it. But Andy had known me for years. He'd known me when I'd been Jeremiah's friend, he'd known me when I'd been Jeremiah's business partner, and he knew me now that I was just an employee. And he'd never treated me differently. I liked that about Andy.

I pushed the b.u.t.ton for the penthouse, and as the elevator doors slid closed I thought of Bianca, my beautiful daughter. She was only a small child, but she was so intelligent, and her wide hazel eyes were wise beyond her years. My heart was filled with joy and a nervous sort of angst as I rode up to see Jeremiah. I knew I was doing the right thing, yet it didn't feel good. I wasn't sure how he'd react to what I had to tell him. I'd have to find a way to make sure Bianca was well taken care of. She was the one who would suffer if things went wrong.

I smiled as I thought of my daughter. Angelina and I had wanted kids so very badly. And even now, when things were so tense, Bianca could still bring us together. She was our lifeline to the future. I rubbed my temple gently as I felt a headache setting in. Life was so complicated now, so full of mistakes and regrets. Sometimes I wished I could get back to the beginning. Sometimes I wished that I'd never gone to Harvard, but then I realized that I never would have met Angelina, and I knew that I wouldn't change a thing.

The elevator ride seemed excruciatingly long, and when I finally arrived at the penthouse, I felt surprisingly calm. I held my head high and called out for Jeremiah.

”Jeremiah, it's me, Nick. Where are you?” I headed for the living room, but it was empty. The whole apartment was oddly quiet, and I supposed Macy must have taken David out shopping somewhere. I was glad she wasn't home. We still didn't get along, and I knew she blamed me for the fact that Jeremiah had an illegitimate son with Joanie. After all, I was Joanie's friend. I was the one who had introduced her to the group. I wished now that I hadn't. It had ruined her life-but then, the group had ruined so many lives. I was lucky to be left unscathed. I heard a faint noise coming from the bedroom, and I walked toward it slowly, hoping that Jeremiah wasn't occupied with a prost.i.tute, as was his penchant when he was stressed.

”I love you, Jeremiah.” The familiar voice sounded soft and begging. ”I won't let you discard me again. I've done everything you've ever asked of me.” I froze as I peeked into the room and saw the couple on the bed.

Jeremiah looked down at his companion and my hand flew to my mouth as I watched them embrace. I let out a loud gasp, and they both looked up at me in shock.

”I didn't want you to find out this way-” Jeremiah grimaced, but I had nothing to say. I turned around and ran back to the elevator, furious at his betrayal. As I stood in the elevator my head pounded, and I knew nothing would be able to dull it. I hurried out of the building with one thought in my mind: Nothing was going to be the same again. Absolutely nothing.

eight.

Bianca London Present Day ”I have good news and bad news,” Blake said as he walked into Jakob's apartment early the next morning.

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