Part 51 (2/2)
dis-je ? mon cocher, 'vous pouvez monter: votre fille n'est pas morte--elle dort.' Je quittais Paris sur-le-champ.”[267]
The generosity of Madame de Trafford knew no bounds. Once she went to Bourges. She arrived at the hotel and ordered dinner. The waiter said dinner could not be ready for an hour. She asked what she could do to occupy the hour. The man suggested that she could visit the cathedral.
She said she had often seen the cathedral of Bourges: ”what else?” The man suggested the convent of Ursuline nuns on the other side of the street. ”Yes,” she said, she was much interested in education, she was much interested in Ursuline nuns--she would go to them.
A nun showed her everything, and she expressed herself much pleased; but the nun looked very sad and melancholy, and at last Madame de Trafford asked her what made her look so miserable. ”Oh,” said the nun, ”it is from a very peculiar circ.u.mstance, which you, as a stranger, could not enter into.”--”Never mind,” said Madame de Trafford, ”tell me what it is?”--”Well,” said the nun, ”since you insist upon knowing, many convents were founded in the Middle Ages by persons who had very peculiar ideas about the end of the world. They believed that the world could not possibly endure beyond a certain number of years, and they founded their inst.i.tutions with endowments to last for a time which they believed to be far beyond the possible age of the world. Now our convent was founded on that principle, and the time till which our convent was founded comes to an end to-morrow. To-morrow there are no Ursuline nuns of Bourges: to-morrow we have no convent--we cease to exist.”--”Well,”
said Madame de Trafford, ”but is there no other house you could have, where you could be re-established?”--”Oh, yes,” said the nun, ”there is another house to be had, a house on the other side of the street, which would do very well for a convent, but to establish us there would cost ?3000. We are under vows of poverty, we have no money, so it is no use thinking about it.”--”Well,” said Madame de Trafford, ”if you can have the house, it is a very fortunate circ.u.mstance that Mr. Trafford sent me a bill for ?3000 this morning: there it is. You can have your convent.”
This story my sister had from the nuns of Bourges: it was her second-sight of the trouble overhanging them which had taken Madame de Trafford to Bourges.
Amongst the most extraordinary of the dictations of Madame de Trafford are those which state that she was really the person (accidentally walking and botanising on those mountains) who appeared out of a dense fog to the two children of La Salette, and whom they took for a vision of the Virgin.
People who have heard our histories of Madame de Trafford have often asked if I have ever seen her myself. I never did. The way in which I have been brought nearest to her was this. One day I had gone to visit Italima and Esmeralda at their little lodging in Chester Terrace, in the most terrible time of their great poverty. I was standing with my sister in the window, when she said, ”Oh, how many people there are that I knew in the world who would give me five pounds if they knew _what_ it would be to me now. Oh, how many people there are that would do that, but they never think of it.” Esmeralda thought no one was listening, but Italima, who was sitting on the other side of the room, and who was then in the depths of her terrible despair, caught what she was saying, and exclaimed, ”Oh, Esmeralda, that is all over; no one will ever give you five pounds again as long as you live.”
Three days after I went to see them again. While I was there, the postman's knock was heard at the door, and an odd-looking envelope was brought up, with a torn piece of paper inside it, such as Madame de Trafford wrote upon. On it were these words: ”As I was sitting in my window in Beaujour this morning, I heard your voice, and your voice said, 'Oh, how many people there are that I knew in the world who would give me five pounds if they knew what it would be to me now! Oh, how many people there are that would do that, but they never think of it.'
So I just slipped this five-pound note into an envelope, and here it is.” And in the envelope was a five-pound note.
”J'?tais l?; telle chose m'advint.” I was present on both these occasions. I was there when my sister spoke the words, and I was there when the letter came from Madame de Trafford sending the five-pound note, and repeating not only my sister's words, but the peculiar form of reduplication which she so constantly used, and which is so common in Italy when it is desired to make a thing emphatic.
Esmeralda spent the greater part of the summer at Mrs. Thorpe's, where I frequently visited her. She was soon deep in affairs of every kind, far too much for her feeble frame, as she added incessant religious work to her necessary legal worries. She would go anywhere or bear anything in order to bring over any one to the Roman Catholic Church, and was extraordinarily successful in winning converts. Her brother William had already, I think, been ”received,” and her little sister-in-law, Mrs.
William Hare, was ”received” about this time. Esmeralda's most notable success, however, had been in the case of Mr. and Mrs. T. G. When she was living in Sloane Street, she heard accidentally that Mrs. G. was wavering in her religious opinions. Esmeralda did not know her, but she drove immediately to her house at ten o'clock in the morning, and by four o'clock that afternoon not only Mrs. G., but her husband, had been received into the Roman Catholic Church.
Still, Esmeralda never believed that all those who were without the pale of her own Church would be lost. She felt certain of the salvation of every soul that had died in union with G.o.d by the indwelling of the Holy Ghost.
Amongst the persons whom I frequently saw when staying with my sister were the singular figures, in quaint dress with silver ornaments, with long hair, and ever booted and spurred as cavaliers, who were known as the Sobieski Stuarts. Their real names were John Hay Allan and Charles Stuart Allan, but my sister recognised them by the names they gave themselves--John Sobieski s...o...b..rg Stuart and Charles Edward Stuart. I believe that they had themselves an unfailing belief in their royal blood. Their father was said to be the son of Charles Edward Stuart and Louise of s...o...b..rg, Countess of Albany, born at Leghorn in 1773. Fear of ”the King of Hanover” was described as the reason for intrusting him as a baby to Admiral Allan, whose frigate was off the coast. Allan brought up the boy as his own, and he lived to marry an English lady and leave the two sons I have mentioned. The elder brother died in 1872, and the younger on board a steamer off Bordeaux on Christmas Eve, 1880.
Upon her return to England, Esmeralda found in completion the beautiful monument which she had caused to be erected to her mother in the Catholic Cemetery at Kensal Green. It represents ”Our Lady of Sorrows”--a figure of life-size, seated under a tall marble cross, from which the crown of thorns is hanging.
From Esmeralda's private meditations of this summer I extract:--
”_July 15, 1865._--Ask for the gift to sorrow only for our Blessed Lord's sake, that truly we may share the divine sorrow of His Blessed Mother, and mingle our tears with hers on Calvary at the foot of the cross.”
”_August 20, 1865._--Ask for the grace of filial love. Strive to overcome all evil inclinations that are an impediment to filial love, amongst which one of the chief is self-conceit. Make acts of reparation for all the selfconceit of past life. When thoughts of self-conceit enter, let us shut the gates of our hearts against them, and make an act of profound humility and sorrow, seeing our own nothingness and baseness. We must seek for filial love by laying aside all confidence in self, and placing all our confidence in G.o.d alone; for all that proceeds from ourselves is corrupt, and our best actions have no merit unless performed solely for G.o.d's greater glory, without regard to ourselves.”
”_August 27, 1865._--Lay at the foot of the cross all secret doubts of G.o.d's guidance. It is this secret instinct which is one of the great hindrances to the reign of Jesus in our souls. Let us make an act of the will--'Lord, I believe that Thou lovest to make the souls of men Thy tabernacle; help Thou mine unbelief. I believe that Thou lovest me, in spite of my unworthiness and infidelity. I am blind and poor and naked; I have nothing of myself to offer Thee but what is corrupt and evil, but Thou hast given me by inheritance all the poverty and humility of Thy Blessed Mother, all her sorrows,--and these I offer Thee--Thy gift I give back to Thee. O my Lord, let me learn to know Thee more and more.'”
END OF VOL. II.
_Printed by_ BALLANTYNE, HANSON & CO.
_Edinburgh and London_
THE STORY OF MY LIFE
VOL. III
[Ill.u.s.tration: Anne F. M. L. Hare]
From a portrait by Swinton.]
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