Part 12 (1/2)

”What do you mean by--practically to give you?”

”The man said lend. But my name is good for even more than you supposed, since he knows, and I know, that I can offer him no security.”

”How can he tell, then, that you'll ever pay it back?”

”He can't tell. That's just it.”

”And can you tell?” She let the lump of sugar fall with a circle of tiny eddies into the cup of tea.

”I can tell--up to a point.” His tone indicated some abatement of enthusiasm.

”Up to what point?”

”Up to the point that I'll pay it back--if I can. That's all he asks. As a matter of fact, he doesn't seem to care.”

She handed him his cup. ”Isn't that a very queer way to lend money?”

”Of course it's queer. That's why I'm telling you. That's what makes it so remarkable--such a--tribute--to me, I dare say that sounds fatuous, but--”

”It doesn't sound fatuous so much as--”

”So much as what?”

The distress gathering in her eyes prepared him for her next words before she uttered them.

”Papa, I shouldn't think you'd take it.”

He stared at her dully. Her perspicacity disconcerted him. He had expected to bolster up the ruins of his honor by her delighted acquiescence. He had not known till now how much he had been counting on the justification of her relief. It was a proof, however, of the degree to which his own initiative had failed him that he cowered before her judgment, with little or no protest.

”I haven't said I'd take it--positively.”

”Naturally. Of course you haven't.”

He dabbled the spoon uneasily in his tea, looking downcast. ”I don't quite see that,” he objected, trying to rally his pluck, ”why it should be--naturally.”

”Oh, don't you? To me it's self-evident. We may have lost money, but we're still not--recipients of alms.”

”This wasn't alms. It was four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”

She was plainly awe-struck. ”That's a great deal; but I supposed it would be something large. And yet the magnitude of the sum only makes it the more impossible to accept.”

”Y-es; of course--if you look at it in that way.” He put back his cup on the table untasted.

”Surely it's the only way to look at it? Aren't you going to drink your tea?”

”No, I think not. I've had enough. I've--I've had enough--of everything.”

He sank back wearily into the depths of his arm-chair. The glitter had pa.s.sed from his eyes; he looked ill. He had clearly not enough courage to make a stand for what he wanted. She could see how cruelly he was disappointed. After all, he might have accepted the money and told her nothing about it! He had taken her into his confidence because of that need of expansion that had often led him to ”give away” what a more crafty man would have kept to himself. She was profiting by his indiscretion to make what was already so hard for him still harder.

Sipping her tea slowly, she turned the subject over and over in her mind, seeking some ground on which to agree with him.

She did this the more conscientiously, since she had often reproached herself with a fixity of principle that might with some show of reason be called too inflexible. Between right and wrong other people, especially the people of her ”world,” were able to see an infinitude of shadings she had never been able to distinguish. She half accepted the criticism often made of her in Paris and London that her Puritan inheritance had given an inartistic rigidity to her moral prospect. It inclined her to see the paths of life as ruled and numbered like the checker-board plan of an American city, instead of twisting and winding, quaintly and picturesquely, with round-about evasions and astonis.h.i.+ng short-cuts, amusing to explore, whether for the finding or the losing of the way, as in any of the capitals long trodden by the feet of men.