Chapter 2 Part6 (1/2)

Apparently, all human bodies glow slightly. But it’s normally so faint that it can’t be seen by the naked eye, and everyone lives their daily lives without being aware of this fact. It’s not just humans; all living creatures emit a faint light. These so-called biophotons are about one millionth of the brightness of a star. It’s thought that luminescence disease is a result of abnormalities caused by extreme imbalances in that light.

That day, I came home and pondered things alone. On my bed at night, I gazed at the ceiling and pondered.

What could I do for Mamizu?

The things that she wanted to do before she died, were those her true desires?

I’d suddenly become curious about that.

I got the feeling that, for some reason, Mamizu’s emotions were steadily dying as I fulfilled her requests one after another.

Was I really doing the right thing?

It was a sleepless night. When I looked at the clock, it was already two o’clock. It had been more or less midnight when I got into bed, so that meant I’d been thinking on and on like this for a whole two hours.

I got out of bed and went downstairs. I fumbled around the pitch-black kitchen and opened the door of the refrigerator. The light that came from within was blinding. I was hungry. I rummaged around inside, looking for something to eat.

My fingers found some ham and a carbonated drink, and then I went out onto the veranda. It was a summer night; there were insects of some kind making noise.

I called Kayama, thinking that he probably wouldn’t be awake at this time.

“What is it? This is unusual, Okada,” said the voice on the other end.

“Kayama, why are you awake? Hurry up and go to sleep.” I gave a strange laugh, for no reason at all.

“What’s wrong with you? … Oi, where are you now?” Kayama asked.

“The veranda of my house.”

“Second floor?”

“First floor. What are you so worried about?”

“If you’re on the first floor, then it’s fine. Have you been drinking or something?”

Hearing those words, I suddenly realized that people normally drank at times like these.

“I’m underage,” I said.

“So you haven’t ever had alcohol before?”

“It’s not that I haven’t.”

“So what are you doing at this time of night if you’re not drunk?”

“Hey, why can’t I sleep?”

“How would I know, idiot,” Kayama snorted. It was the same Kayama as always.

“Hey, Kayama. About Watarase Mamizu. Her condition isn’t good,” I told him.

“So?”

“Don’t you have to go and meet her?”

“… When I feel up for it.”

“Come to think of it, why are you ending all of your relations with women?” I asked.

“I wonder why. It’s become pointless,” Kayama said.

“It makes me anxious when you say anything that sounds remotely decent. Is there a new girl that you seriously love or something?”

“Actually, I wanted to confess to my first love. I was thinking of tidying myself up first, you see.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“I’m joking.”

The call suddenly ended. I didn’t know whether Kayama had hung up on me or whether the signal had gotten bad. It wasn’t worth calling him back, so the conversation ended there.

After that, I stood there and ate the ham. I want some mayonnaise, I thought.

I went from the veranda back inside the house, and sat down in front of my sister’s butsudan.

Hey, Meiko.

When the one you love dies, you must commit suicide.

I still haven’t told anyone that secret.

I’m keeping my promise.

I heard a rustling sound. I turned to see that Kamenosuke was staying up late as well; he had escaped from his water tank and was going for a stroll across the floor of the living room. I hastily caught him and put him back in his tank.

Looking at Kamenosuke, I got the feeling that maybe all human struggles were pointless.

I thought that I’d be able to sleep well after that, but that wasn’t the case. Even after I returned to my room, I couldn’t sleep for a while.

“Ah…”

My voice escaped my lips. I tossed and turned in my bed numerous times, letting out several low groans. Stirring with aimless thoughts that floated into my mind only to disappear again, I slept.

When I went to school the next day, Mamizu was in the cla.s.sroom. She was in the seat next to mine.

“Good morning, Takuya-kun,” she said.

I was quite surprised. “W-what happened, Mamizu!”

“My luminescence disease is completely cured. The doctor said that it was a miraculous recovery.”

Now that she mentioned it, the color of Mamizu’s face looked quite a bit healthier.

“Here, look,” she said, jumping up and down. “I could even fly through the sky now.”

“I see. That’s good.”

I’m really glad, I thought. Mamizu has gotten better.

“We can start our school life together now, can’t we? Treat me well, Takuya-kun.”

I became happy. So things like this do occur in this world, I thought. A miracle had happened.

Mamizu and I ate lunch together. Mamizu laughed happily, looking as if she was enjoying herself.

“Let’s go somewhere together,” she said.

For some reason, my heart began thumping. “Is that a date?” I asked.

“You dummy,” Mamizu said, giving an embarra.s.sed laugh.

The two of us talked about where we would go on the weekend. Let’s go here, let’s go there, our imaginations were endless.  I thought that I would enjoy going anywhere as long as I was with Mamizu.

But… I knew. I started to gradually notice.

I knew that such convenient events would never be waiting for us.

Something like this couldn’t happen. This wasn’t something that was happening in reality. While I was talking with Mamizu, I became aware of this.

“What’s wrong, Takuya-kun?” Mamizu asked, looking at me curiously. “Why are you crying?”

I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t help but to cry.

That was when I woke up. Of course, it had been a dream. It had become morning outside before I knew it. My body had been drained of its strength. I couldn’t move at all.

I was crying not only in my dream, but in reality as well.

Even though I had woken up, my tears wouldn’t stop.

Mamizu would die one day.

What would I do when that happened?

What would I do until that happened?

Now that I think about it, stargazing is something that can be done even from a hospital, right? I thought. The problem was that the visiting hours at the hospital Mamizu stayed in ended at eight o’clock. Since it was summer, the sky was still quite bright at eight o’clock; it wasn’t really a period of time when you could feel like you were stargazing.

So, I decided to sneak into the hospital after visiting hours.

Late at night, once the lights were out, n.o.body was at the hospital other than the people on duty. I entered through the emergency exit, climbed the emergency stairs while keeping my footsteps quiet, and headed for Mamizu’s room. I was holding a telescope in my hands. It wasn’t that professional, but with that said, it had cost me 40,000 yen at the department store. I had spent most of the pay from my part-time job on this, but it didn’t bother me.

I entered the corridor from the emergency stairs and quietly made my way through. It was game over if I was found by a nurse. But things went fine. Proceeding with careful footsteps, I arrived at Mamizu’s shared room. I quietly approached Mamizu’s bed and shook her awake. Mamizu opened her eyes wide in surprise.

“Takuya-kun, why are you here?” she asked.

“Quiet. We’re going to the roof now,” I whispered.

“Now…?”

Mamizu was still half-asleep, but when I showed her the telescope that I was holding, a look of comprehension finally appeared on her face.

“You didn’t have to go that far… Wait, I’ll get up properly now.”

Mamizu slowly stood up, and with me supporting her body, we headed for the hospital’s roof. Unlike the roofs of schools and such, it was open. It was probably because it was convenient for drying laundry. There were clotheslines everywhere. There was a plastic bench towards the corner. I sat Mamizu down on it.

“This is my first time using one of these, too,” I said. Of course, I’d never done anything like stargazing before; I strained my eyes to read the instructions in the darkness and started setting up the telescope next to Mamizu.

Mamizu gave a quiet scream. “Oh no.”

Surprised, I turned around.

I was taken aback.

Sometimes, there were moments when I forgot that Mamizu had luminescence disease. There were even times when we were alone together like this that I wondered whether Mamizu being sick was all a lie. But that was definitely not true.

Mamizu’s body was emitting a dim, faint, pale light. The bare skin poking out of the long sleeves of her pajamas were glowing a fluorescent white. That was… the characteristic symptom of the condition known as luminescence disease. I looked up to see the moon s.h.i.+ning brilliantly in the clear sky. When Mamizu’s body was illuminated by the moon’s light, it glowed. That was the distinct feature of the disease that she suffered from.

“It’s embarra.s.sing, so don’t look,” Mamizu said, as if begging me. But I couldn’t think of Mamizu’s appearance as anything to be embarra.s.sed about.

“Sorry,” I said, apologizing. After I apologized, I gave her my honest impression. “Sorry. But you’re beautiful, Mamizu.”

She really was. On this rooftop on this night, Mamizu’s fleeting life was s.h.i.+ning, as though she were a firefly.

“I was careless. I shouldn’t have come to the roof with you.” For some reason, it seemed that Mamizu was shocked at being seen like this by me. “It puts you off, doesn’t it, Takuya-kun?”

How could I convey to Mamizu that this wasn’t the case at all?

“I’m like a monster or a ghost, aren’t I?”