Chapter 18.2 (1/2)
Chapter 18.2 – What Life Looks Like (2)
Shen Yao was determined to go abroad, so naturally she did not put much heed on her interns.h.i.+p. After she had her parents find a court to affix a stamp of verification on an interns.h.i.+p evaluation form, she had begun enjoying a well-nurtured life during this fourth year of university, all the while spending it in Hunan, where she kept her boyfriend company.
Tong Yan had not expected that when she told Shen Yao about her fracture, Shen Yao’s first reaction had been to guffaw. “Finally, I have an excuse to go to Beijing to meet my future father-in-law and mother-in-law!” And then shortly after the winter break had begun, she had hustled straight to Beijing.
After ten days had pa.s.sed, she finally managed, before the start of the Lunar New Year celebrations, to make a visit to see Tong Yan.
“Have a bit of sympathy, okay?” Tong Yan lay belly-down on the couch, aimlessly flipping through television programs. “I’ve been recuperating for nearly a month. When I sit on a chair to eat, I need to put three or four foam seat cus.h.i.+ons down, and it still hurts. You don’t even think about comforting me; all you know is to use me as an excuse.”
Shen Yao crouched beside the couch and peeled a mandarin orange for her. “Come wintertime, do you Beijingers just eat mandarin oranges, peanuts, and melon seeds? When I’m with Cheng Yu, no matter whose house we drop in on to visit, there are always these things.”
“It seems so.” Tong Yan thought about this for a moment. “But it seems not quite right, either.”
“Do you know that he told me to wash dishes in his home and tidy up the place? He said it was to leave a good impression with his dad and mom …” Being the delicate and helpless young Shanghai girl that she was, this form of torture had left Shen Yao feeling very defeated. “You know my family has a housekeeper who does all that stuff. He said that most families don’t hire a housekeeper, especially in Beijing, where the girl does the housework and takes care of the entire family, old and young alike.”
Giving an “mm-hmm” in response, Tong Yan took a segment of orange from her. “It’s the custom of the North. Did you think everyone was like your mom, everyday just going shopping and chatting with people and stuff? You didn’t even find yourself a guy from the Northeast[1] … Just be content.”
“Well what about you and Great Beauty Gu?” Shen Yao laid her head down beside Tong Yan’s face and looked at her.
“I do the cooking, I do the laundry.” Tong Yan mulled this over and discovered that she truly did meet the requirements. “It seems I do the majority of things.”
“Then you should just be a full-time wife. Hasn’t he already taken a job out in the real world? After a few years, when he’s gotten by well and has become one of the big bosses, do you think he’s even going to care about your puny salary?”
Sprawled on her stomach, Tong Yan also looked at her. It felt as if they had returned to the times when they were still in school and the two of them would squeeze onto same bed together, whispering face to face to one another. “My wish is that I can provide for him, to allow him to just stay home and read, or if he wants to, he can go teach a couple of cla.s.ses at a school and that’s it.”
Shen Yao gawked wide-eyed at her. “You’re really going to keep him like he’s a beauty?”
“I’m just worried that he won’t let me keep and provide for him.” Tong Yan sighed, “I’ll tell you something honest. His health is actually not very good. Back when he was doctor, he got sick because he was trying to save people, and that left some side effects. That’s why it’s not really suitable for him to get too tired out.”
This was the first time she had ever mentioned this to Shen Yao. Perhaps it had simply been too long and she needed a place to let it all out, like a tree hollow that she could talk into, to just voice out everything in a jumble.
Shen Yao let out an “oh,” and fell silent for a moment. Abruptly, she straightened herself, startling Tong Yan with the action.
“That time you were pressing after Zhou Qingchen, asking about the long-term side-effects of SARS and stuff, that wasn’t because of Teacher Gu, was it?”
Tong Yan gave an “mm.”
Shen Yao completely rose to her feet, pacing back and forth around the living room for a long time before returning to the side of the couch and sitting down again. “Yan Yan, have you ever thought about breaking up? Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”
“Of course I haven’t.” Tong Yan also sat up, leaning sideways against the couch and trying as much as possible to avoid placing pressure on her tailbone. “Friend Shen Yao, you are currently in Gu Pingsheng’s home. You need to think twice and then twice again before you speak.”
She was joking, but Shen Yao was serious. “I can still remember a little bit of what Zhou Qingchen said. What if, in the future, Great Beauty Gu really does have heart failure, and there are problems with all his internal organs? What are you going to do? Wait on him everyday? Okay, fine, let’s just say that’s the case. But you’ll still have to spend money on medical treatment for him, and moreover, it will be neverending. You sell your home, you sell your car until in the end, you have nothing left to sell, then what? Sell your body?”
“Why are you looking at things so negatively?” Tong Yan laughed, her eyes on Shen Yao.
“The reality is, things are already so negative.” Shen Yao gaped disbelievingly at her. “These last few days, I’ve been going with Cheng Yu to his family’s home, and when I discover many lifestyle differences where we are at odds, I will waver a bit and wonder whether I can be a part of that family for my entire life. That is still only a possibility for me … But yours is already a reality, just that the situation will slowly manifest itself. Do you know what a bottomless pit is? It’s a bottomless pit, yet you’d still dare jump into it?”
Tong Yan could see that Shen Yao’s emotions were stirred up as she spoke, so she simply waited until Shen Yao had completely finished venting them out.
Seeing that Tong Yan did not say anything, Shen Yao at once fell into a mode of self-criticism. “Of course, what I’m saying here is spoken very much as a realist. I’m being unfair and wrongful against Teacher Gu. He rescued the dying and saved the wounded, and I am still stabbing him in the back.” Once her self-criticism was finished, she instantly switched back into her friend-protecting mode. “But you’re my friend and I must take your side.”
“Done talking now?”
“Done talking.”
“Okay, then it’s my turn to talk.” Tong Yan pointed out the window. “Everyday, there’s a possibility that we will encounter all kinds of disasters — car accidents, fire, plane crashes. I’ll not be afraid of taboo and just say something: who knows, when I go out tomorrow, whether I’ll be struck by a car and die? So none of the matters of tomorrow will affect my decision today.”
A cry of “Sh*t!” slipped from Shen Yao, and pulling Tong Yan’s arm, she scolded, “Ptooey! Touch wood[2]!”
“Actually, I’m a person who is especially lacking in love, so as long as it’s a love that I can grab ahold of, I will never let go of it, even if you beat me to death.” She leaned herself on Shen Yao and rubbed her cheek against her shoulder. “If one day you end up like him, I don’t mind supporting you either. You don’t eat much anyway, and so long as you don’t buy brand name clothing and bags, I’ll be okay.”
Shen Yao let out another shout of “Sh*t!” and patted Tong Yan on the back. “You’re the expert at bringing on the sappy feelings. I’m about to cry because of what you said.”
Shen Yao had originally wanted to wait until Gu Pingsheng came home before she left. They had not expected, however, that even after eating dinner with Tong Yan and Grandmother and sitting around some more until nine o’clock, she still would not get to see him. Cheng Yu’s repeated calls came, three or four times urging her to hurry, until Shen Yao finally stood to take her leave. As she walked up to the front door, she seemed to all of a sudden think of something, and in a quiet voice, she asked Tong Yan, “Do your parents and grandmother not know about Gu Pingsheng’s condition?”
“They don’t know, and I don’t want to let them know.” Tong Yan made a motion, like she was wielding a sabre. “I will strangle all possible opposition when they’re still in the cradle.”
“You just laugh. Go ahead and laugh. The time will come when you will be crying.” Once Shen Yao finished saying this, she immediately spat out another couple of “ptooeys.” “I’m not going to curse you. What kind of darn ‘crow’s mouth[3]’ [always stating misfortune, like it is challenging Lady Luck] was that?”