Chapter 11 (1/2)

The Past is No More (1)

After Sat.u.r.day came to an end, it would be Sunday.

Or in other words, they had a full two days they could be together.

They arrived at Gu Pingsheng’s home. Silently, she calculated out each second, but no matter how it worked out, it still felt as if there was not enough time at all. If he needed to go back for surgery, he would most likely stay in Beijing for a lengthy period of time to recover. She, however, could only remain in Shanghai and would not even have an opportunity to take care of him.

Her thoughts ran chaotically through her mind, and without really thinking, she grabbed the Sichuan peppercorn, star anise, dried orange peel, and dried chile peppers she had already pre-mixed and tossed them into the frying pan. However, she had forgotten that the oil inside had already been heating for a long time. Furiously, it began splattering from the pan. She hastily retreated two steps and b.u.mped into him.

Gu Pingsheng swiftly brought the lid overtop of the pan and turned on the range hood fan.

“Why has your mind been wandering all this time?” Against the crackling and sizzling noises of frying, he asked her in low tones, “Since coming back from the supermarket, you’ve been lost in thought. Is there something you want to tell me?”

His voice was rather soft, but hints of a seldom-heard sense of uncertainty could be found in it.

Tong Yan turned off the burner, turned around, and gazed at him. “I want to go back to Beijing to take care of you.”

“You still have cla.s.ses to attend.” He was a little surprised, but quickly, he smiled, “Tong Yan, this surgery is not dangerous, and it is only the recovery period that is relatively long. I will call you the entire time. Twice a day? Or three times? How about four?”

Tong Yan bit down on her lip. Watching as his smile deepened, her sadness only increased. Femoral head osteonecrosis, advanced stage.

In such an ordinary tone, he had stated this. For the first time, she discovered that the manner of putting on a front of strength, in reality, was simply a way of pus.h.i.+ng everyone else away from yourself — far away …

“I can temporarily suspend my schooling for this semester and just wait until next year to continue my third year of university.” She moved close to him. “If I do that, it won’t affect my grades in any way, and all that will happen is that I’ll graduate one year later. How about that?”

He did not answer.

Tong Yan wrapped her arms around his neck, and quickly, she took his lower lip between her teeth and began carefully kissing around the contour of his lips, softly and at the same time, persistently.

After a while, she finally let go of him and faced him so that he could see her lips, earnestly asking once again, “Alright?”

“No.” His voice had become serious. “If I had late-stage cancer, I would, without any hesitation, take you straight back to Beijing with me and have you by my side the whole time. But this disease is not that serious.”

Their two bodies were pressed tightly together. She did not know whether it was because they had had a disagreement, but their bodies had gradually risen a little in temperature. And also rising up somewhat uncontrollably were both their heartbeats and the emotions that had unexplainably begun rus.h.i.+ng forth from their hearts.

Tong Yan frowned, quietly admonis.h.i.+ng, “Don’t curse yourself.”

“Don’t be so superst.i.tious.” Gu Pingsheng enfolded his arms around her. “I studied medicine. Never have those things been taboo to me.”

Her brows were still furrowed tightly, and she spoke no more.

She merely used the ten minutes that followed to do one thing: she wholly devoted all her heart and mind to kissing him. In that kitchen filled with the aroma of spices, she tilted her head back, encircled his neck with her arms, and kissed him while, at the same time, being kissed by him.

“Stop. Don’t continue.”

His voice was slightly uneven. As he kissed her, he seemed to be telling this to himself as well as telling it to her. But, it was only this once, and then he no longer attempted any persuasion.

Tong Yan’s eyes were closed as he lifted her up directly and enfolded her against his chest. Instinctively, her legs wrapped themselves around his waist. In this way, the two of them entangled themselves together, holding and kissing each other continuously, sometimes gently, sometimes heavily, but unwilling to part from one another anymore.

All this time, though she had stayed before in his place, she had never entered his bedroom …

When Gu Pingsheng used his knee to nudge open the door, she managed to evade him for a moment and curiously turn her head to scan this room with her eyes. “Your room is so simple.” After she said this, though, she realized that the room was dark and he could not see what she was saying.

“Do you want to turn on the light?” Gently, he caressed his cheek against hers.

Tong Yan hesitated, then gave a nod.

Lowering her down onto the bed, he turned on the wall light. Here, in this room that had illuminated in an instant, she saw that Gu Pingsheng’s s.h.i.+rt was already half open … And after the fact, now, she began to feel self-conscious and quickly shook her head, saying, “On second thought, let’s keep the lights off.”

He seemed to give a little laugh but did not speak. Pressing the switch again, he cut off the source of light.

On this winter night, even the moonlight outside the window was dusky, but because of his tireless, meticulous, and deep kisses, it seemed to transform, to become delicate and velvety. From the glow of light in the room to all that was stimulating her sense of touch, everything was warm and soft.

In this light, she could see his tattoo, a large, winding design that snaked from his elbow up his arm, but it was not frightful.

He held her body to him, the tip of his nose brus.h.i.+ng against hers. Amid the pain that was gradually being left farther and farther behind her, she focused on looking at him. Because the lights were turned off, they could not have any verbal communication between the two of them, but in her gaze that was at times hazy and other times clear, she could sense that never once had his eyes left her.

Afterwards, Tong Yan, dazed from exhaustion, fell asleep in his embrace, and when she awoke again, it was already the middle of the night.

Gu Pingsheng, his arms encircling her, was half-sitting up as he leaned against the head of the bed, and he appeared as if he had not slept the entire time.

Tong Yan s.h.i.+fted slightly. Very quickly, he turned on the light. “You’re awake now?”

From this angle, he looked very much like that night in their past where he had sat on the floor of the corridor, his hair nearly completely concealing his eyes and his entire being emitting a dense atmosphere of pain that was difficult to disperse. Now, however, his hair was slightly shorter, and a smile which had risen up in his eyes could be seen.

“Are you repenting to G.o.d?” Tong Yan asked him in a half-joking tone as she gazed at him.

“I’m not religious.” Hugging her to himself, he kissed her forehead. “I think I told you that from the very beginning, when we went to Ma.s.s that time on Christmas Eve.”

Nodding, she pulled herself ever so slightly away from him so he could see her speak. “After next semester, you may not be teaching any more cla.s.ses, right?”

With a nod, he answered, “Yes, it will depend on how the recovery is going.”