Part 36 (1/2)

Angelique turned away, wrapping her arms around her waist tightly, and Barnabas recognized that sign of her temper68.

held in check. ”Then I will ask to remain here, as her maid,” she said. Then she looked at him again, a little uncertain. ”If you want me to, that is.”

”I regret that I can see no other way,” he told her, pulling her against him. ”But is it fair to you? You should have more.”

She silenced him by placing a hand to his lips. ”All I want, my darling, is your love. It is all I have wanted since the first moment I saw you on Martinique.” She smiled as he began to kiss her fingers. ”And to think that the Countess almost left me there because she was afraid I was still not well - ” She paused, her eyes wide with - did he see fear there?

Barnabas stopped kissing her hand, but retained the hold. ”You were ill?”

”No. Not really,” she said in a desperate voice.

His grip on her hand tightened. ”Don't lie to me, Angelique.”

”I - fell down some stairs a week after you left. I fainted. I had a - difficult time convincing the Countess - ” She stopped again, unwilling to continue.

”Convincing her of what? Tell me.”

”It cannot matter now. I do not think you should know.”

”Does it concern me?”

”It - did,” she admitted reluctantly.

”Then I have a right to know.” A tear escaped to roll down her cheek. ”You're crying.”

”No,” she denied heatedly, wiping the tell-tale moisture away. ”I finished crying that night, alone in my room.” She lowered her head as if suddenly very tired. ”Very well, Barnabas. I'll tell you.” She raised her eyes to watch his face. ”The reason I fell, the reason I became faint, was that I was with child.”

”You - no,” he denied. He had never suspected. No wonder she had been so determined to have him.

”I admitted it to myself the day you left. I told no one. I planned to write you, let you know -”

”But you fell.”

”And lost the child. The doctor said that it was a boy.”

Barnabas crushed her against him, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling her with him. ”I should have been with you.” His lips found hers, and when he pulled away, said, ”I'll find some way out of marrying Josette. We can leave -”

She reached up to touch his face. ”I can't allow you to leave your family and home. I know how much they mean to you. I will be content with - with my position, as long as I know I have your love.”

”Always,” he promised. ”You will always have that, my darling. It is late now. Rest. We will talk again tomorrow.” His kiss was gentle as she lay back on the bed. After her eyes closed and her breathing became even, he went to the door where Julia stood. ”How much did you hear?” he asked softly, his voice deep with emotion.

”Enough.”

”I realize now that things needn't have happened the way they did. If I had gone to her, been honest with myself and with her, I would have married Josette and still had Angelique's love.”

Julia shook her head. ”It would never have worked, Barnabas. You could never have been unfaithful to Josette once she was your wife.”

His eyes were on the woman on the bed. ”You think not, Julia? There has always been a part of me that only Angelique could touch, could satisfy. It's still there.” He bent to lift her into his arms.

”Where are you taking her?” Julia asked, following.