Part 15 (1/2)
”I'll pick you up at six and we can drive up the coast for dinner.”
Julia sent Willie to straighten up the lab. ”You're sure you don't want me to stay up here?” he asked quietly, a careful eye on Barnabas, who was standing by the fireplace.
”I can handle it, Willie.”
”Stop whispering about me,” Barnabas said without turning.
Willie needed no further urging, and took off to the bas.e.m.e.nt, hoping to avoid the anger he heard in that voice. ”We weren't whispering, Barnabas,” Julia said. ”We're just concerned -”
”Of course. So you found Quentin and tracked me down to Collinsport. You are not my keeper, Doctor.”
Julia's jaw tightened. He knew how much she hated for him to call her that. ”At the moment, you appear to need one.” Julia seldom lost her temper with this man, but something snapped at his attack. ”Why I've put up with your moods, your temper, I have no idea.”
He looked up at her. ”Oh, come now, Julia. We both know the reason,” he said harshly.34.
Julia paled and turned away. As a psychiatrist, Julia could be logical about Barnabas' attack. He was hurting and was las.h.i.+ng out at those closest to him. But as a woman in love with Barnabas Collins, she felt as if he had slapped her. She had forgotten how quickly he could turn on someone. But it would be different this time. No matter how much it hurt her, she would force him to work through the rage and anger now, not allow it to build until they were a danger to everyone around him.
Julia's stricken expression pierced Barnabas' rage-clouded brain. ”Forgive me, Julia. That was unfair of me.” He turned back to the fire. ”I suppose I should be grate ful for what you all did this evening. I just can't seem to care any longer.”
”Why did you destroy the lab?”
”What do I have to look forward to if I'm cured, Julia?”
”Would you prefer to continue as you are?” she asked him.
”No,” he said at last. ”No, of course not.”
”Then I'll continue my work. I'm sure that once you're cured you'll see everything more clearly.”
His smile was a faint echo of others she had known. ”I don't deserve your friends.h.i.+p, Julia, but I am glad that you are my friend.” He came to stand before her, taking her hand. ”It would be very easy for me now to say what you want to hear, but it wouldn't be fair to you.”
”I know, Barnabas. I've learned to accept it.” She watched him moved restlessly around the room. ”It might help you to talk about her, Barnabas. I'm a good listener.” She smiled. ”It's a prerequisite for being a psychiatrist.”
For several minutes, she thought he was going to ignore the offer. Then he began to speak. Softly, quietly. ”There are so many things. This house. So much about it reminds me of our brief time together. We were married in this room, with only my mother and Ben Stokes in attendance. The arguments. I remember the day she arrived.
I wasn't expecting her to come here with Josette's aunt. When I opened the door and saw her, I was happy that she had come. But I forced myself to push it away. To push her away. For her sake.”
”For her sake?”
”Yes. There was no future possible for us. I had chosen to marry Josette, and I did love her, Julia.” He began telling her about those months on Martinique, about his decision and the reasons for it.
Julia sat until dawn, listening, hoping that it would prove a catharsis. A rooster's crow made Barnabas look up.
”Thank you, Julia. I'll see you this evening.”
She watched him leave the room, then went to check on Willie's progress in the lab.
Julia told the family about Angelique's death, and of its effect on Barnabas. ”So if he seems a bit-preoccupied or moody, you'll know why.”
”Poor Barnabas,” Carolyn sighed. ”His luck with women is atrocious.”