Part 1 (1/2)
HEAVY ISSUES.
Elle Aycart.
Dedication.
Dedicated to Rosana Paez, because every time I threw in the towel, she was there to pick it up and whip my whiny a.s.s with it. Thank you, my dear friend; there isn't a s...o...b..ll's chance in h.e.l.l I would have finished this story without you.
Chapter One.
”It's decided, ladies. I'm taking the s.e.x-for-hire route.”
Holly, Annie, and Sophie all choked on their drinks. ”What?” they squawked almost simultaneously.
Christy propped her legs on the empty chair in front of her and, throwing her head back, finished her shot. Yep, tequila nights were definitely the best.
”I'm going to hire myself a first-cla.s.s stud,” she stated, her gaze fixed on the dark sky, literally bursting with stars. ”If you're smart, you will too. Although you guys need to get your own-I'm not comfortable sharing.”
She left the shot gla.s.s on the table of her deck and smirked at the stupefied girls.
A stud for hire.
She had no clue where the heck that thought had come from. It'd probably crept in sometime between the fourth and fifth rounds of shots, but now that it was out there, it made a world of sense...in a totally messed-up, s.e.x-deprived, alcohol-distorted sort of way.
”A stud for hire? What on earth for?” Annie asked in a slurred voice.
Holly waved in exasperation. ”Please, Annie. Isn't that self-explanatory? s.e.x, honey, s.e.x.”
Annie's glazed eyes opened wide. ”As in a man wh.o.r.e?” She shook her head. ”But...but you're beautiful, Chris. You don't need to-”
Christy cut her off. ”h.e.l.l yes I need to.” Beautiful or not, she knew her limitations. Landing a decent guy on her own-for s.e.x or for anything else-was apparently one of them. ”I want to, actually.”
She was drunk enough to be blunt, and well, she hadn't had s.e.x for ages and good s.e.x for a h.e.l.l of a lot longer-her whole life, probably. It had never bothered her that much, but tonight the unfairness of it all stunk to high heaven.
”I've come to accept that love and happily-ever-afters are not meant for me. I get it. I really do,” she said, turning her glare up to the black sky. ”But where is it written I have to make do without experiencing good s.e.x for the rest of my life, huh? Where?” she demanded, raising a fist into the night la Scarlett O'Hara.
The girls giggled.
Christy sighed. ”It shouldn't be this hard. There's gotta be something wrong with me.”
Duh, no s.h.i.+t. The understatement of the century.
Holly came to her rescue. ”Nothing's wrong with you, sweetie. It's the male pool that's rapidly decaying. Brainless jerks, the whole bunch of 'em.”
”I'll drink to that,” Sophie said.
Christy wasn't so sure. She understood Sophie, who was after all in the middle of getting a divorce and had no sympathy for the opposite s.e.x. She also understood s.e.xpot Holly. The girl could catch and keep any man she wanted-if she wanted to, which was the key point here-but other people found great guys all the time, real keepers. It had to be Christy's fault that she always drew the shortest straw.
This is truly pathetic! I'm pus.h.i.+ng thirty-four, for crying out loud. There must be more to s.e.x than what I got, when I got any. I want to see fireworks, bright lights...I want vortices of pa.s.sion, the pulsing, the clawing, and the screaming. The multiple o.r.g.a.s.ms! Instead all I got was...
”...unskilled men unable to find your G-spot even with a state-of-the-art GPS embedded in their finger,” Sophie finished. ”I know, sweetie. Join the club.”
Oh G.o.d! Had she said that out loud? Apparently.
Annie choked on her drink again while Holly broke into a laugh.
”Well...that too,” Christy said, feeling her cheeks flame. That wasn't what she'd meant, but it wasn't exactly a lie either.
Holly jumped in. ”That's nothing, girl,” she said, addressing Sophie. ”There's unskilled, and then there's unskilled. I have pretty horrible war stories myself. What about the jerks who think good oral s.e.x consists of sucking your c.l.i.t so hard it feels like you're stuck to a vacuum cleaner? You're there, squirming, about to pa.s.s out from agony, slapping at him and yanking his hair to get him to stop, and what does the moron do? Thinks you're coming, redoubles his efforts, and obnoxiously grins at you.”
They all dissolved into laughter while Holly rolled her eyes. ”Laugh all you want, ladies, but let me tell you, I'd rather get my teeth removed, one by one, without anesthesia, before letting anybody unqualified near my poor c.l.i.t again.”
The girls were now laughing so hard they were crying and holding their stomachs.
”At least he went down on you. Shouldn't he get points for trying?” Sophie asked.
Holly snorted. ”Nope. No sympathy points. I'm a person, not an NGO. I want them housebroken; absolutely no beginners. Either they know what they're doing, and I mean really know, or they can hit the door.”
”When did that...uh...vacuum cleaner experience happen?” Annie asked, mopping her tears.
Holly took several seconds to answer, building their expectation. ”Um...remember that GQ investment consultant I dated a while back?”
Annie's jaw dropped to the floor. ”No way! The smooth talker?”
Holly a.s.sented. ”Useless mouth if you ask me.”
They all doubled over again. Christy was the new kid on the block and she didn't know any GQ investment consultant, but she knew outspoken Holly wouldn't put up with much s.h.i.+t when it came to men, much less oral s.e.x gone bad.
”And don't get me started on foreplay...”
”In that area,” Sophie began, ”you got nothing on me-I win hands down. Have you ever had an ice cube on your privates straight out of the freezer? Without any warning whatsoever?” She looked around. ”No, I guessed not. Well, I have. The height of foreplay, I tell you. My soon-to-be ex decided to get creative and go all 9 Weeks on me.”
Christy was confused. ”I don't remember that scene in the movie.”
”Exactly my point,” Sophie said with a grunt.
Now Holly's jaw went slack. ”Oh s.h.i.+t! What happened?”
”What happened? Frostbite happened. I should probably be grateful he didn't think of getting it near my c.l.i.t because it would've fallen off in pieces. Talk about permanent damage!”
The three girls looked at each other in stunned silence; then they looked at Sophie, who was sourly pouting, before breaking out in uncontrollable laughter yet again.
It took several attempts before they got the giggles down to manageable levels.
”You're outrageous when you're drunk. The three of you,” Annie said.