Part 50 (1/2)
This was the coming out, and he was already radiant with happiness, oblivious of suffering, hopeful of the future. It was enough, he would not probe it, he would not peer into the dark corners of his prospect; he would simply realize that his soul had been lost, that it had been found by Lettice, and that it was hers by right of trover, as well as by absolute surrender.
The mid-day sun shone in at his window and tempted him to the verandah outside. Here he found one of those chairs, delightful to invalids and lazy men, which are constructed of a few crossed pieces of wood and a couple of yards of sacking, giving nearly all the luxury of a hammock without its disturbing element of insecurity. And by its side, wonderful, to relate, there was a box of cigarettes and some matches.
Since they were there, he might as well smoke one. His last smoke was seven or eight months ago--quite long enough to give a special relish to this particular roll of Turkish tobacco.
As he lay back in his hammock chair, and sent one ring chasing another to the roof of the verandah, he heard a step on the gravel beneath him.
Lettice, with a basket in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other, was collecting flowers and leaves for her vases. Unwilling to leave him too much alone, until she saw how he would bear his solitude, she had come out into the garden by a door at the other end of the house, and presently, seeing him in the verandah, approached with a smile.
”Do I look as if I were making myself at home?” he said.
”Quite.”
”As soon as I began to smoke, all kinds of things came crowding into my mind.”
”Not unpleasant things, I hope?” She said this quickly, being indeed most afraid lest he should be tempted to dwell on the disagreeable past.
”No, almost all pleasant. And there are things I want to say to you--that I must say to you, very soon. Do you think I can take for granted all you have done, and all you are doing for me? Let me come down and join you!”
”No!” she said, with a great deal of firmness in her gesture and tone.
”You must not do anything of the kind until the doctor has seen you; and besides, we can speak very well here.”
The verandah was only a few feet above the ground, so that Lettice's head was almost on a level with his own.
”There is no difficulty about speaking,” she went on, ”but I want you to let me have the first word, instead of the last. This is something I wanted to say to you, but I did not know how to manage it before. It is really very important that you should not fatigue or excite yourself by talking, and the doctor will tell you so when he comes. Now if you think that you have anything at all to thank me for, you will promise not to speak to me on any personal matters, not even your own intentions for the future, for one clear month from to-day! Don't say it is impossible, because, you see, it is as much as my place (as nurse) is worth to listen to you! If you will promise, I can stay; and if you will not promise, I must go away.”
”That is very hard!”
”But it is very necessary. You promise?”
”Have I any choice? I promise.”
”Thank you!” She said this very earnestly, and looked him in the eyes with a smile which was worth a f.a.ggot of promises.
”But you don't expect me to be deaf and dumb all the time?” said Alan.
”No, of course not! I have been told that you ought to be kept as cheerful as possible, and I mean to do what I can to make you so. Do you like to be read to!”
”Yes, very much.”
”Then I will read to you as long as you please, and write your letters, and--if there were any game----”
”Ah, now, if by good luck you knew chess?”
”I do know chess. I played my father nearly every evening at Angleford.”
”What a charming discovery! And that reminds me of something. Is there any reason why I should not write to Mr. Larmer? He has some belongings of mine, for one thing, which I should like him to send me, including a set of chess-men.”
”No reason at all. But you ought not to write or talk of business, if you can help it, until you are quite strong.”
”Well, then, I won't. I will ask him to send what I want in a cab; and then, when I am declared capable of managing my own affairs, I will go into town and see him. But the fact is, that I really feel as well as ever I did in my life!”