Part 3 (1/2)

When I was a lad, young men were sent abroad, after their school or college course; the grand tour, Paris, Vienna, that sort of thing: very good thing in its way, too, monstrous good thing. But before he sees the world, sir, a lad should know how to live, as you say, the natural life.

Ought to know what a tree is when he sees it; upon my soul, he ought.

Now my milksop--best fellow in the world, I give you my word, except that little fellow at home there--well, sir! when he came to me, he didn't know the difference between an oak and an elm, give you my word he didn't. Remember one day--he heard me giving directions to Giuseppe about cutting some ashes--clump of them in the field below the house, needed thinning out--and he wanted to know how ashes could be cut; thought I meant those in the fireplace, sir. Monstrous! Well, I taught him a little, and you and your young folks have taught him a great deal.

H'm! I don't know that he is now more disgracefully ignorant than nine-tenths of the young men of his age. Set of noodles! I'll tell you what, Merryweather! You ought to have a kind of summer school here: get other boys, a dozen, two dozen; teach 'em to see with their eyes, and all the rest of it. I knew a boy once who thought a bat was a bird, give you my word I did. And another who thought oysters grew on bushes. Get up a school, sir, and I'll come myself, and be a boy again.”

”That is a great inducement,” said Mr. Merryweather, laughing: ”but, Colonel, I hope you have brought a boy's appet.i.te with you, at least.

Who are the cooks to-night, Miranda? Oh, I see; Bell and Jack. Well, that is all right, Colonel; they make one of our best combinations. What have you there, Jack?”

Jack, in a white cap, and an ap.r.o.n reaching not quite half-way to his knees, advanced bearing a mighty dish, from which rose fragrant steam.

”H'm! ha!” said the Colonel, sniffing. ”Smells good! you had no hand in this, I'll be bound, sir!”

”Indeed, Colonel Ferrers,” said Bell, who followed with the teapot and a plate piled high with feathery rolls, ”it is all Jack's doing, every bit. It is his famous pilaff, that the old Greek professor taught him to make in Germany; and it is almost the best thing you ever tasted in your life.”

”H'm!” said the Colonel, frowning heavily, and looking immensely pleased. ”So this is what he was doing while he was supposed to be studying. I always knew the rascal was deceiving me. Ha! it _is_ good; it's uncommon good! So you did learn something besides fiddling, eh, Jack?”

”Cooking is a part of chemistry, Uncle,” said Jack, soberly; ”a very important part. This dish is chemically prepared, sir; please regard it as a demonstration!”

”And please try my fried potatoes as a further demonstration!” said Bell. ”Margaret, you are not eating anything.”

”She never does!” said Peggy.

”Oh!” cried Margaret, ”but I never ate so much before. Oh, please not!”

as Phil tried to heap her plate with potatoes. ”They are delicious, but I really cannot!”

”I can!” said Gertrude, holding out her plate.

”I'll warrant you!” said Phil. ”No one doubted that, sweet Chuck!”

”We do not look for the Camp Appet.i.te till after twenty-four hours,”

said Mrs. Merryweather. ”Give Margaret time! in two days she will eat twice as much as she does now.”

”Harry Monmouth!” exclaimed the Colonel. ”At that rate, it is fortunate for you all that I do not outstay my two days. Twice as much as I am eating now would clear your larder, dear madam. Yes, thanks, Merryweather, a little more!”

”Oh, Colonel Ferrers!”

”Oh, Uncle Tom! you are not going away in two days? We counted on a week at least!” cried all in chorus.

”Impossible, dear people, impossible! Like nothing better; enchanted to stay all summer; delightful place. But--Elizabeth Beadle's condition, you understand; and the boy--I must get back. He is too young to have the responsibility. Most amazing boy in the world; I haven't the slightest doubt that he is doing her more good than all the doctors in the world--parcel of fools, mostly--but still he is too young; I must get back.”

”Let me go, Uncle!” said Jack.

”Or me, Colonel Ferrers!” cried Gertrude. ”Any one of us would love to go!”

The Colonel beamed on them with his kindliest smile, but shook his head resolutely. ”Thanks! thanks!” he said, heartily. ”Good children! kind and thoughtful children! but I must go. Couldn't be easy, you understand.”

”The fact is,” said Jack, ”Uncle Tom cannot be comfortable for more than twenty-four hours away from Hugh. After that length of time he becomes restive, and symptoms develop which--”