Part 2 (2/2)
For, I, too, had no conscious memory, not even fleeting, of my own life before the age of seven.
Before I was done with this case, I would have found parts of Destiny's four years and pieces of my own seven.
Both of our lives would be shattered.
Chapter 3.
After Destiny left, I walked back to the graphic arts department and looked for my sister Ann who worked for me as an art director. People always commented on how surprising it was that we could work together, and when they found out I was the boss, they always a.s.sumed incorrectly that I was the older one. We sounded exactly the same on the phone, which often confused clients and vendors, but in person, we were nothing alike.
For starters, we didn't look alike. We were both about the same medium height and build, with large b.r.e.a.s.t.s and small b.u.t.tocks, but where Ann was soft, I was lean. Ann constantly poofed up her dark brown hair (she'd discovered that if she went to sleep with it wet, she didn't have to pay for as many perms). I wore my light brown, thick, wavy hair in a simple ”wash and wear” cut (I'd never had a perm in my life and had no plans for one).
We also didn't dress alike. Ann wore elaborate mix and match outfits in muted colors, dresses that clung to her and panty hose that were every color but tan. I wore what she called my ”uniform.” A brightly colored, starched b.u.t.ton-down s.h.i.+rt, lean cut faded blue jeans (I had ten pairs to choose from), and Topsiders with no socks. I'd improved my whole look several years back when Gallagher taught me to take my crumpled s.h.i.+rts to the dry cleaners.
I found Ann hunched over a drawing board, trying to paste up ill.u.s.trations of teeth in various stages of gum disease.
She welcomed the interruption.
I asked her to go out to dinner with me that night. She agreed to accompany me if I would treat or give her an advance on her paycheck.
I treated.
Over chips and salsa at our favorite Mexican restaurant, I told her Destiny's story. She agreed it was a fascinating tale and a great case for me to tackle. She also agreed, as she had so many times in the past, to take on added responsibility at the office while I gathered my information.
That taken care of, we got down to the real point of why I'd asked her to dinner.
”I have no memory either, Ann.”
”I know, Kris. Frankly, I can't remember much about our childhood myself. And it's probably just as well. From what I do remember, it wasn't such a great time,” she said, loudly chomping down on a chip.
”But I want to remember!”
”I know you do. You've tried to remember before and you can't. Years ago, you even talked about hypnosis. Remember when you saw that hypnotherapist on TV, you wanted to go to her.”
”I'd forgotten about that. Why didn't I go?”
”She was arrested for fraud a week later.”
”Oh, yeah.” I laughed. ”Just as well.”
”Anyway, Kris, I thought you didn't care anymore. I thought you'd let go of it.”
”So did I.”
She waited for me to continue, maybe because her mouth was full of tortilla chips.
”But when I heard this woman's terrible story, something in me s.h.i.+fted. It was weird. The instant she said she had memory loss, I felt kind of sick inside, but I also knew I could help her get back her memory a””
”Good, that's what she hired you to do.”
Ann had a bad habit of interrupting.
”a” and I knew I'd get back my own. I knew it, Ann. I've never felt anything like it before. Like I said, it was weird.”
”It sounds weird,” she said a bit judgmentally for someone who believed more strongly in intuition than logic.
”Do you think I'm ready to remember?”
”I don't know,” she said, shaking her head in disapproval. ”What's changed? Why now?”
”What's changed, is me. I think I'm stronger now. I've been afraid of delving too deeply into this family stuff, afraid of what I'd find out, afraid of falling apart, of staying in bed, of never coming into work and losing the business. At one time, I was afraid of losing Gallagher. Sure enough, I did. What more do I have to lose now?”
”You'd never stay in bed like she did,” Ann said, referring to our mother, who had spent more days in her bed than out of it.
”I know that now, but I haven't always known it. Gallagher and Marketing Consultants were all I had. I couldn't risk it.”
”You'd hardly want to lose your business now,” she said, and for a split second, I wondered if she was more concerned about me or her job.
”But I wouldn't now,” I protested. ”That's what I'm telling you. I think I'm strong enough to remember, without it ruining my life. And h.e.l.l, maybe it will improve things a little.”
Maybe I'll be able to sustain an intimate relations.h.i.+p. Maybe I won't start to cough and almost gag when memories I can't grasp fly through my mind. These things, I thought but couldn't say to my sister.
”How will you remember?” She looked at me sharply.
”I'm not sure exactly. By relaxing, I guess. It's all there, like in a computer. We never permanently forget anything. We just lose access to it. This may sound funny, but I'm going to give myself permission to access it.”
'That's it?”
”That's it!”
”But you always have a plan, Kris. This isn't like you.”
”I know,” I said quietly. And despite my resolve, my stomach fluttered. ”That's it.”
”What about Destiny, how will you help her?”
”Tomorrow afternoon, I start by visiting her father. She called him, and he agreed to meet with me.”
”Are you going to meet with her mother, too?”
”No, not yet. She and Destiny aren't getting along too well right now. Also, the two of them never talked about her parents. Destiny's father told her what little she knows and, up until now, she's never had the courage to ask more.”
”So she hired you to ask the questions for her,” Ann said more as a statement than a question.
”Exactly. She's ready for the information, but she wants some distance from it, too. I can see her point.”
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