Chapter 182 All Thats Left is to Convey These Feelings (1/2)
The night had fallen, and it can be said that it was already midnight. Normally, I would already be asleep by now, but I was lying in bed, staring at the dark ceiling.
It isn’t that…… I can’t fall asleep. But right now, I still couldn’t bring myself to sleep.
Ryze-san told me that I should prioritize what I think about how I feel about Isis-san and think about what kind of relationship I want to have with her in the future…… and I’ve been thinking about that for a long time.
When I first met Isis-san…… I was scared of her.
A mysterious and frightening being that is beyond my common sense…… I may have realized that it was because of her magic power of death, but I was almost caught off guard at that time, and I shuddered from fear I couldn’t comprehend.
However, I fortunately have the power of my Sympathy Magic, and thanks to that, the loneliness deep within Isis-san’s heart…… I was able to slightly sense it.
Perhaps, if I hadn’t met Kuro and saved me…… I probably wouldn’t have reached out my hand to her. I would probably be shamefully running in fear.
However, what actually happened was that I met Kuro and was saved by her, and because I regained my courage to step forward, I was able to reach out to Isis-san’s hand in spite of my fear.
……Looking back at it, Isis-san may be the first person I’ve ever tried to get involved with on my own.
And, when I held Isis-san’s hand and introduced myself to her…… She confessed to me.
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Because it was the first time in my life that I had ever been confessed to, I was half-confused at that time and to be honest, I didn’t really take her confession seriously.
After that, Isis-san and I became friends, and afterwards, I learned that Isis-san is the Death King and that she possesses the magic power of death.
But at that time, Isis-san was no longer a scary person to me, so I couldn’t see why Lilia-san and the others were so scared of her.
On the contrary, I was even inwardly mad at Chronois-san when she evaluated Isis-san as someone with a bad nature.
That’s because the real Isis-san was…… lonely and quiet, reserved and gentle, a really lovely lady……
The pain that Isis-san has been going through, I still feel like I can’t completely understand it even now that we’ve become so close.
However, I’m confident that a smile is much more suitable for Isis-san than a sad one.
Since the first time we met, Isis-san has been straightforwardly directing her love and affection to me, and even though I felt shy from it, felt delighted from it, and remembered feeling strangely nervous when I’m talking to Isis-san.
She really always, always takes care of me…… and when I was injured, she was really angry and sincerely worried about me.
No matter how insensitive I am, I understand that the affection Isis-san for me is very strong.
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However, that affection isn’t something that is forced on me.
When I asked her to hold off on responding to her confession, or when I asked where Isis-san’s castle is, she always paid attention and respected my circumstances.
Being thought about that much…… there’s no way I wouldn’t be happy.
Yeah, that’s right…… I’m feeling glad that I’m receiving Isis-san’s affection.
I’ve never had any experience of being popular, so I had no idea how to respond to her confession, and because I strongly felt that I love Kuro, I’ve kept it ambiguous for a long time.
It may be as Ryze-san told me…… The answer may have been in me right from the start.
If this was the world I was in…… If I really had to choose only one person, I think I would have chosen Kuro.
I would have been heartbroken at the thought of Isis-san feeling sorrowful, and I may even cry, but even if it’s painful, I would still make a choice.
However, the world I’m in now is different.
This is a world where I could choose to like both of them…… a world where I could make such a gentle choice…… And just as Orchid said, in this world, there’s no need to for me to have any differences in my love for them.
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Then, the only thing left is my feelings…… but even that has already been answered.
I’m not averse to Isis-san’s love…… I enjoy spending time with Isis-san….. I felt my heart beat for Isis-san’s gestures.
How I feel about Isis-san has long since appeared in my heart before I could even think about it in my mind.
[……I see…… I love Isis-san.]
Feeling as if I’ve found the answer within the darkness, I felt as if I instantly felt better.
Yes, there’s no need for me to be puzzled. I love Isis-san, I want Isis-san to have a smile on her face, I want her to be happy…… I want to make her happy.
Slowly, I raise my upper body and move my eyes to the faint light of the stars.
Feeling sincerely relieved and thankful that I don’t have to give up on Isis-san……
Dawn, at a time when it was still early in the morning, I went to visit where Sieg-san usually is.